im scared of gving birth as im not the one for pain what advice can u give me

Hi Charlene,

Can't give you any advice as i'm in the same boat as you. First time for me and I'm due in 29 days. I'm a little nervous about the birth, especially as you hear so many horror stories from people.

I just keep telling myself that the baby has to come out one way or another and unfortunately you don't have a lot of control over how it happens! Now i've accepted that and i'm gonna just go with the flow as much as poss I feel a bit better.

You have so many options for pain relief as well - I know people that have had an epidural and didn't feel any pain at all!

I'm sure the other ladies on here will have some better advice for you (and me!)

Keep smiling - the end result will be worth the birth i'm sure

Lisa
xx

Hi

My LO is now 11 months old. I was so nevous about giving birth. I'd built it up into something so horrific that I was almost relieved when I started labour and it wasn't as bad as I'd expected!
I'm not a naturally brave person person but I didn't have an epidural for labour. I had paracetamol and a Meptid injection. I tried gas and air but didn't get on with it. Pain relief isn't a sign of weakness, you don't have to prove anything to anyone. Do some research on different pain relief options, there's good and bad points about each one, and decide which are best for you and the type of birth you want.
I would recommend making a flexible birth plan but you need to be prepared to compromise just incase your labour doesn't go as planned.
Lastly, talk to your mw about your fears. She might be able to suggest some relaxation techniques to help you.

Good luck x

hi love,

this is my second time round and unfortunately i didn't have a very positive experience first time round (i won't go into detail). this time i am trying to be really open-minded but the one thing i will be doing is ensuring that i ask plenty of questions about things so i feel included in medical decisions. nothing was properly explained last time and i felt that all control was taken away from me so this time i will be asking the mw to explain things to me...i will simply ask why if they need to do certain things and if labour slows down, i will be asking for time to try walking around etc to encourage minimal monitoring etc. obviously i won't argue if me or lo are in danger but i know that sometimes they do things for convenience rather than medical need. i want to be as active as poss and am hoping that by asking questions so i understand at all times what stage i am at will help me to feel more in control.
other than that, i will welcome pain relief and just try to go with the flow!!!

do talk to mw if you are feeling anxious but try not to worry, after all the drama, you will have a perfect little bundle and none of it will matter.

good luck
Claudia 3 days to go xxx

Hi hun, I have 3 children, my twins are almost 3 and i also have a 7mth old daughter. I didnt have any pain relief with any of my children as I personally decided I didnt want it plus I had a homebirth with Rubi and midwife didnt get their in time. Just keep focused in labour, remember what you will be getting at the end of it, dont panic and keep thinking 'i can do this' and you will be fine, there are plenty of pain relief available if you want it, you will be fine just stay relaxed and try not to worry to much huni xx

Hi there,

Try not to be scared of giving birth, it is painful if you choose not to have pain relief, but your body releases hormones after your baby s born to help your body forget the pain (amazing but true)!

I'm 38 weeks into my second pregnancy and I know that when I was pregnant for the first time I worried about whether I would cope.

I wrote in my birth plan what was important to me in the back of my maternity notes ie. start with no pain relief but rule nothing ruled out, use water pool, baby straight to me when born, etc...

I was very lucky because I had two fantastic midwives whilst giving birth who were aware that I knew my body better then they did!

I once heard someone say "you wouldn't have a tooth taken out at the dentist without pain relief so why should you feel under any pressure to have a baby without any?" which is very true.

Please be reassured that you will know if you want pain relief or not but labour does not last forever, and one way or another you will soon have a baby...

Good luck...

Hi Kara is 9 months and I was really afraid as well but I just kept telling myself the baby has to come out someway so there is no point in worrying. I also kept telling myself that women do this everyday and if it was that bad then no one would have any more than 1 baby. I had Kara at 34+4 weeks. Everything happened that quick from when my waters broke. I went to hospital to get checked then they admitted me overnight. Kara was then born in the middle of this night once my pains started. I was in labour before I could think of it. I just had gas and air and it wouldn't put me off labour again.

Don't be scared. The worst thing you can do whilst in labour is to panic. You need to breathe properly and focus. I panicked and it made it sooo painful. I had gas and air which really helped me to breathe and to relax. Later on I had an epidural and it was amazing, I was fast asleep in established labour and had to be woke up to be examined. My labour was obstructed by massive baby so I ended up with a c section. I was terrified of this as well as I was so paranoid they would mess up the spinal and I would feel everything. My mum also told me you could feel tugging and pulling during a section so I was panicking about that, i was shaking on the way to the theatre and in surgery. But in the end it was absolutely fine. You do have to keep calm .... as someone said, the baby has to come out some way, and there is no point in being scared as its going to happen. x

hi i had my first 5 weeks ago now like u i was scared of giving birth i was petrified i buried my head in the sand my whole pregnancy and i refused to talk about the birth. but when it came to it i was induced a week early due to my waters going and was stuck on a bed my whole labour i had every pain relief going and i dont care that i did i started on gas n air - makes u feel drunk lol pethidine did do much but made me sleep during contractions and say some silly things lol then epi - my saviour!!! it really works and u dont feel any pain!! if ur really scared just opt for the epi and i promise u will be fine!!!!
good luck oh and its true when they say u forget the pain straight away u really really do!!

Hi Charlene, i'm not saying you should get a medal for going "all natural" but i had 3 babies with only gas and air, i just thought - even in the heat of the moment - that it's just such a short space of time in the scheme of your whole life that unless the doctor tells you that something's not quite right, that you can probably do it all on your own, and even then i didn't really need anything extra ( even with a 2nd degree tear for each of my 3 births).

Be open to your dr and mw suggestions but even in a long drawn out labour you will find some hidden strength that you didn't know you had.

Good luck and feel free to ask any questions you feel necessary.

Shell & Paige

hi ya
i was so scared about giving birth i would dream about giving birth most nights. i had every labour you could think of in my dreams! everyone thought i was mad but as soon as i got pregnant thats all my mind would do worry!! I am now pregnant again and you can not control labour or where it happens just relax go with the flow, i had an awful time with Tia and was ill after for ages but that didn't matter its only a short time and you feel on top of the world when that baby is in your arms. please don't get yourself stressed and tell mw as they see this all the time and will help you. laura x

All I can say is don't worry!
I have a really low pain threshold and was expecting to been needing all pain relief pretty quickly - I was terrified of giving birth.
I surprised everyone by only needing gas and air, anyone who knows me would of though t i woud of been screaming for an epidural in the first ten minutes.
My secret - breathe slowly and deeply and focus on the end and what you are doing it for. good luck

Dont worry im the biggest wimp on earth when it comes to pain and i gave birth using just gas and air after 3 days in labour if i can do it im sure you can hunny.

I was absolutely terrified before my first birth and was convinced that I would be begging for pain relieving drugs, but when it came to it I managed without any pain relief at all, not even gas and air. I am not the bravest girl in the world and even passed out as a child when my mum took my brand new earrings out for the first time! If I can do it so can you - so be brave and try your best not to be scared. You can do it girl!!!

Relax, breathe, relax and breathe some more!! I won't lie, it does hurt but at the end of it you can barely remember what all the fuss was about!!

I would talk to family and friends and maybe ask ur mw if there are any other relaxation techniques you can try - being as relaxed as you can be at the time will help as getting tense and panicy will only make it worse hun. Also, make sure ur birthing partner knows exactly what you do and don't want and that they know you well enuff to communicate for you in case they want to know something while ur having a contraction - seems to have been a thing with each of my labours lol asking questions when u can't talk!!

You'll be fine and you'll have a lovely baby to cuddle at the end of it too!!

well i have 3 children, and ttc at the mo fingers crossed, but with my first i was very much like you, i went into labour and i was physically shaking on the way to the hospital, i really thought it was going to be awful too awful, but hey i had 2 more, within 18 months i was pregnant with my son, not soon after that my 2nd daughter, it does hurt of course it does but its not nearly as bad as what you expect, just go with it you will be fine, women all over the world have hundreds of babies every day, at least we have [pain relief ! my first was epi and pethidine and gas and air everything going with 2nd i managed on just pethidine and gas and air and my 3rd was a little gas and air you do what you need to do at the time, to help you get through it because it doesnt last forever and theres no feeling like holding your baby for the first time xxx
good luck xxxxx

okay firstly i have to say, you have the bext name ever (its the same as mine and not really common). i'm a wuss when it cames to pain so i thought i would really struggle during labour but it really wasn't that bad, and lets face it you are instantly rewarded at the end and you forget the grief.

i have 3, and i 'll tell u about my labours to help you stay positive, my daughter (now 8) my labour lasted 3 and half hours, but only experienced half hour of pain due to epidural (i love these, no matter the criticisms from others, i had this again with my 3rd), my second baby was a nice 2 and half hours (but my waters hadn't gone and the pressure was worse than the pain and they popped them when he came out), and i wont give you too much detail with my 3rd (i had a lot of problems during pregnancy and then a few more in labour, he was 5 weeks prem and i had to have emergency section), but the section still wasn't that bad.

just don't have a 3rd, everyone told me your 3rds your worst and i didn't believe them until i had mine.

Hi charlene,

Sorry to hear your are feeling worried.

I am also pregnant with my first, but I am right the opposite. I am curious about what it will be like. (I must be crazy.)

I am not scared at all. As others said on here there are millions of women giving birth every day and a lot of them do it without any pain relief. If it was that bad, nobody would every have a second one! Even if it is painful, it is only for a very short time and once you hold baby in your arms, it will all be forgotten.

Just talk to your mw about it, I am sure she will have a few good tips and perhaps you could also talk to some women that had really easy labours. All this will hopefully put you in a positive frame of mind.

Lana xxx

I think everyone of us has felt like that during our pregnancies, especially with all the stories but we're all different and will experience it totally different to everyone elses. I'm due to have my little girl in August and to tell you the truth i'm actually looking forward to the birth because you know you'll get something nice at the end. With my little boy i was in labour for 12 hours from start to finish and i can honestly say i didn't find the pain half as bad as people said it was gonna be, if anything i enjoyed it and that was just with diamorphine and gas and air. I just had it in my head the whole way through that if it got too bad i was in the right place for them to give me something to help. Don't listen to all the stories because in the end yours will be completely different and you might even be surprised when its over with how easy it actually was. Good luck anyway and i hope it all goes well for you. x

Hi Please don't get too stressed, it isn't all that bad, we wouldn't do it again and again if it was now would we? The actual giving birth bit is the best, and you don't register any pain as you are so foscused on getting you baby in your arms. If you do want pain relief have gas and air to start,that may be all you need, but if you do need anything else ask for it. I have three grown up "kids" and have tried the lot. the last one because he was such a big baby I did opt for an epidural and you don't feel anything at all. So if you are still scared and rather than getting yourself so worked up, book it now. then you will have nothing to worry about and should look forward to the whole experience. Just remember it is your body and nobody can tell you what to do, go with your own feelings and not anyone elses. good luck and I bet your on here soon saying how you were worrying for nothing x

hi girls, i was due in july but ciaran came 8weeks early, and i was petrified too of the pain.im not one for pain myself,but once i realised it was contractions and after geting up on the bed and knowing my baby was gonna be born either way, you seriously dont care babe. you can either endure the pain for longer and longer or push the lil guy out.simple as. i cried and cried when i realised i was in labour (obviously scared shitless, but also worried about ability to do it) i was petrified, but i did it with no pain relief, no gas nothing. If i can do that 8weeks before i even due, you can too ok? god luck babe, and dont stress, it wil be ok, i promise. xx