hi all my baby boy was born at 31 weeks 2 weeks ago he is special care but doing well i just dont feel like he is my baby i dont seem to have bonded with him that much and i didnt get that surge of love everyone talks about when he was born because he was whisked off to intensive care, i had this dream of having my baby full term bringing him home and doing eveything for him and bonding with him but i had to have caesaerean didnt see him for 8 hours and feel like mty dream has been taken away from me has anyone else felt this way, i know im lucky that he is doing so well but i cant help feeling this way

xxx

Hi honey, i havent personally experienced this(rubys staying put for now) but my mum had 2 c sections and with me i was days old before she even saw me as she was out for the count when i was born, she did struggle to bond with me though so i think what you are feeling is totally normal, it must be very hard for you and your partner, i am sure once he is home with you though love things will fall into place. I think i would also feel a bit cheated babe, big hugs.xxx

Yes, I didnt really feel like my lo was mine until 3 1/2 weeks after having her I went onto transitional care with her. And once I got her home I really bonded with her. She is quite simply the very best thing in my life ever and I'm sure that you will feel the same about your son.Although the end to your pregnancy wasnt as imagined hopefully you will be able to leave that disappointment behind as he gets nearer to coming home.
How is he getting on?
Helen.xxx

Hi I am sorry you feel like this. Kara was born 5 1/2 weeks prem and was in SCBU for 2 weeks but I still felt close to her and bonded with her as I was up every day for hours. I was just glad that everything was fine with her. I will admit that it was hard and I did bond with her more when she came home and everything was worth it in the end.

Hope you are feeling better soon and your glad your lo is doing well.

Keep us informed.

Good Luck
Louise

Hi,i had Finley at 29 weeks weighing 2lbs 11ozs. I found it hard to bond with him in the 1st few days as like you i wanted the perfect pregnancy and birth. My oh was the 1st one to change his nappy and to wash him while he was covered in tubes,i thought i would hurt him as he looked so fragile laying in his incubator.I was also recovering from a c section which as you know takes its toll on you!
I understand all the feelings and emotions you are going through but you will get through it i promise,i know all you want is to be at home with your baby and experiencing what all mums should. It will come in time but your baby needs to be in hospital and afterwards you will then be able to bond and give them all the cuddles you want!
Finley is now a fit and healthy 2yr old with no problems at all!!
I'm here if you need to ask any questions or just to have a rant!! Take care.xx
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[Modified by: nikr on June 04, 2008 03:30 PM]

thanks girls its nice to know im not the only one who goes through the emotional turmoil of having a premature baby andits great to have you girls to talk to my baby boy is doing really well he now weighs 3pounds 12 ozs.
the worst thing is having the caesaerean cus i cannot drive although my midwife and doctor have said i can drive atfter 3 weeks as long as its not painful so gonna give it a try at weekend i just cant wait to have a normal life back its only been three weeks on saturday and it feels like months

thanks for your support girls xxx

It was 3 days before I saw my daughter in SCBU as I was in intensive care myself and it feels really surreal. I knew I had a baby, but all I had was a photo next to my bed. It slowly gets better once you are out and about and you can pick her up.
I don't want to upset you, but please check with your insurance company if you are insured to drive so soon after a c-section. My insurance let me drive after 5 weeks but they are all different and the last thing you need is to be an uninsured driver.

Hi i had my baby daughter at 32wks due to pre eclampsia, she weighed 2lb14oz, sophie was in nicu for 48hrs then scbu for 5wks. It was one of the hardest things i had ever done, I was devasted to not be taking my baby home and i couldn't look at pregnant women as I felt as tho i had been robed i should have still been pregnant enjoying my alone time with my baby before sharing her with everyone. Then there was all these women taking their babies home it was heartbreaking. I was there every day and whislt she wasn't poorly she couldn't come home as she wasn't feeding with being so small. It was such a rollercoaster for us all but i had lots of skin to skin contact and once the staff where confident with us they let us do all her cares and ng feeding which helped, as i wanted to be the one who decided what clothes to put on her etc i did feel like i bonded with her she finally took to breastfeeding and is now 5months old and 11lb6oz, and a absolute godsend with a very big gummy smile.