Posted : May 11, 2008 11:53:49 PM
Subject : Miscarriage getting me down
I have just miscarried for the 3rd time. My husband and I started trying for a baby in Autumm 2006. After a short time I fell pregnant. Only a few weeks later I started to bleed. I went to hospital and had a scan. They could not see anything, But a pregnancy test said I had been pregnant.
We began trying, but it took 6 months before I fell pregnant again. The same happened, after a few weeks I started to bleed. Again I had a scan which showed nothing, but my blood test said I had been pregnant.
Luckily I was in contact with a fertility nurse, who sent my husband and I for tests. My husband was fine, however I was told I was not ovulating. Therefore not getting regular periods. I was put on tablets to produce a period, After a few months of trying we got nothing. So I was put on Clomid to help me produce my eggs properly. At first it didnt work, so my dose was increased. Finally it worked, but I didnt fsll pregant the 1st month. Then out the blue I fell pregnant. I started with sickness straight away, and was dreadfully tired all the time. I was put off all the spicy foods I normally love. Everything was right.
They brought me in for scans every 2 weeks, and at 7 weeks I was given the picture, and could see the heartbeat perfectly.
However, on my 9 week scan, was give the news it had stoppped growing not long after 7 weeks. I now have to have surgery to remove it.
I just feel like thats it. I cant put myself through anymore. If I get pregnant again, I feel I would be a nervous wreck. No amount of scans would reassure me.
I have just withdrawn myself from things at the moment. I see a baby, or a pregnant woman and I ache with jealousy. I just feel it will never be me. Do I resign myself to the fact it wont happen, or keep positive and think next time is my time.
It is hard not to shut out those you love.