This time last year I had 13 friends who were pg obviously they have all had their babies by now. Although I wanted to join them it didnt seem as bad as its getting now! Went out last night to see my best friend for tea who is 30 weeks pg. Had a lovely evening and it was great seeing her and the bump but the whole time I was thinking I want to be in her shoes! She only started trying because I had told her about the probs we were having! Then I get a text message from a uni friend telling me that she is 12 weeks pg. After I reply with the congrats text she texts me back to ask why we havent thought about starting a family!!!!!!!!!!!!! I could scream! n I am never ever going to ask women that question ever ever. I find myself dreading hearing that someone else is pg as I seem to get more and more emotional! Having a real down day.

Hey Muffin

oh hun i do know how you feelwhen everone around you seems to be PG or having babies.
I know after my first MC my neighbour had a baby & i actualy wanted to scream " youve stolen my dream"!!!!!!!
Its natural to feel life is unfair, i sadly suffered my second MC this week so im feeling this way to.

However hard it gets or how long it takes we cant ever give up on our dreams. We will get there in the end & we are all here for you. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

We all know how you feel honey and it's not wrong to feel that way. When our recently pregnant friend told us she was pregnant i went into a massive decline for about 2 weeks. I'd love to tell you a way to get through moments like this but i'm afraid that i can't...all i can say though is that you have a lot of people here to give you support and get you through these times.

We've just got to keep believing that we will get our dream some day very soon.

xx

Totally sympathise and understand how you're feeling.

We've been TTC for 25 /26 months, 2 m/c and 1 x IVF. My sister told me today she was pg-she's just stopped the pill and hadn't even had a period.

I am absolutely gutted. I know it's not her fault but I wasn't even able to congratulate her. Just another daily reminder of the losses and troubles.

Look after yourself x

Oh Hun I feel for you I really do. It will happen for you someday very soon. I was the same. I was trying ttc for 2 years when several women at work fell pregnant. Im between each one everyone keep saying to me 'you will be next' I know they were only trying to make me feel better but it just made me feel that bit worse when someone else announced there pregnancy. In the end I was 'the next one' and am now due in May. I just wanted to assure you that even though sometimes it feels as though the light has gone out at the end of the tunnel and you feel you are getting nowhere...it will happen for you. Sending you lots of hugs and babydust xx

Oh so annoying...just wrote really long reply and then lost it all!! Slightly briefer version of my post:
Honey, I think most of us on here can probably relate to how you're feeling...just replied to similar post by MrsD. It is completely natural to feel the way you do, although totally poissible to hold 2 emotions at once, happiness for the one announcing the pg and sadness for ourselves that we are not announcing our own pg as well. I too find myslef avoiding pg people and anyone who I believe *might* announce a pg as I jst don't feel I can cope with the emotions it brings up for me. Although not a long term solution I do think we have to know our own limits and look after ourselves. My hubbie wants to meet with a friend of ours who is 8 months pg and has an 18 mnth old the week of our egg collection and I just said no. I feel terrible but I just can't do it. Whenever we're around pg people or babies, the conversation inevitably turns to pg and babies and 'when will you be next'....it sucks! I agree, I will *NEVER* ask people persoanl questions about babies, children or ttc ever again (although have to admit I did before we started TTC). Although I know people just care and are curious (nosy!), it really drives me MAD! It WILL be us one day announcing our pg's muffin (and everyone else on here), and when we do we will be so very very grateful xxx

Oh Muffin I can totally relate to you. I'm going to visit a friend this weekend who's 20something weeks pregnant and only started trying as I was having problems! She's only just into a 2 year relationship (mine's coming on for 11 years) and although I'm happy for her, as soon as she (and any of my other friends who are pg) told me I had a good old cry. She was also smoking when she conceived and probably hadn't started folic acid or all of those things. I feel like my life's on hold until I conceive and I hate it! It's so horrid seeing people get pregnant without properly 'trying'. One friend who started at the same time as me, wrote the day she was going to start on the calendar and lo and behold it worked! She then suggested to me I should have a weekend away as that would hellp (with my irregular periods!) and then didn't understand when I said I was charting as you can't conceive at ANY time of your cycle. Honestly, they don't know how lucky they are!

On the plus side, it means we get a few more full nights sleep before it all gets taken away, plus we have a bit more money to treat ourselves.

Try to stay positive, I'm sure we'll all get there in the end but I know I want to scream and shout sometimes at even my best friends who don't have a clue.

Tinybabydancer - I'm the same, was asked to go and see a colleague's baby yesterday but couldn't as she smoke and drank the whole way through pregnancy and was more worried about how fat she was getting than anything else. I just couldn't bring myself to go and coo over the poor little thing as I would have had to bite my tongue. It's perfectly normal not to want to see pregnant friends and it's definitely a way of us coping with it more...

x

It's a hard part of TTC there's no denying it, we're only human and I think the purest, sweetest soul would struggle against a twinge of jealousy when hearing pg announcements and being around pg ladies and/or babies.

I had a new wee niece born last night, it was the day before her due date and I could see she'd sent a picture message but it was taking ages to come though and I was jumping up and down with excitement as I knew it would be baby news and they didn't know what we they were having.

When it came through and I saw the picture of mum and baby and the words "it's a girl" I screamed out to hubby and jumped up and down with a grin on my face (they have a 18 month old boy) and then I stopped and started to well up in pure self-indulgent jealousy and then felt happy again and then sad...... there's just no controlling how we feel it's so hard and the worst part is we feel guilty about it!

Looking at flights to go and meet her and I know it'll be bittersweet..... but family first and I have to prioritise my existing family over my imaginary one just now.

I do find I put off seeing my pg friends and those with children for maybe a week after AF arrives.... not proud of it but you have to give yourself a bit of time out sometimes.

We'll get there girls someday and we'll be all the more sensitive to others for it.

~OP xx

I know just how you feel - such a relief to know I'm not the only one! It feels like everywhere I look people are effortlessly falling pregnant while I am struggling and it feels so unfair. did anyone see denise van outen is the latest celeb to be pg? she's only been married a few months and it's like "oops i'm pregnant" just like that! I want to be happy for them and I do try, but I feel so envious because it seems so easy and natural for all these other people.

I wish I'd never told anyone I'd come off the pill to ttc - as soon as I did 2 of my friends decided they wanted to try for a baby too and 1 fell pregnant her first month of trying - she already has 2 kids and had been on the depo for 3 years and yet she fell pg straight away! now she keeps on asking me what's happening and why i'm not pg yet. it's driven me so crazy i'm avoiding seeing her and am now telling people that we've put baby plans on hold until we've moved & settled into our new house - just to buy me a few months break from people asking me what's happening every time i see them.

the other friend fell pg after 3 months trying, and another one started ttc a few months ago after i told her we were trying. although she's not pg yet i am just waiting on tenterhooks now for her to break the news she's pg too. i'm avoiding her aswell at the moment as she also keeps asking me questions about what's happening. even though it's not even been a full year yet she said was my mum infertile?! i was like, er, no, she had me and my brothers lol! it was like she was branding me "infertile" which felt horrible when it's not even been a year yet. she also said i must be feeling depressed about my other friends being pg and i went away feeling like i'd been labelled this infertile depressed loser!

wish i'd never opened my big mouth about ttc but at the time i was full of hope and didn't know it wouldn't be straightforward for me...