...i could do with a bit of advice!

i'd always imagined myself with 2 children. so did hubby. when we started ttc we obviously weren't expecting to have 2 MCs, so i felt very very blessed when Thomas was our sticky bean. i feel very very lucky to have him. we've started to talk about when we'd like another child and i was after a bit of advice from you? how long an age gap did you have and do you think it was the right gap? what difficulties do you face? i remember when i was exclusively bf Thomas i kept thinking i couldn't imagine doing that with another baby and having Thomas to look after too. is looking after a baby easier second time round as you know what you are doing? how did your little ones react to having another baby in the house?

sorry for all the questions but i'm just after your experiences :) positive and negative!

what made me post is that last weekend when we were at my relative's christening we sat with someone who had 3 children - and hubby loved seeing them and he's started to think that maybe we could have three!!! i know i'm lucky to have one so if we aren't meant to have any more then so be it. and i'm not sure my breasts could cope hehe!!

thanks xxxx

Ok i am slightly different as Jamie is coming 10 but i think thats worse. I had to start all over again.
What i find the most difficult is getting us all up in the morning to take him to school which is 7 miles away. If you had them close in age you wouldnt have to do this. Also getting him at 3 again.
Im also having to deal with Jamies "teenage" moods along with a baby which is exhasting in a completely different way than a baby.

If i had had a choice i would have had them close togther as it is hard work no matter when you have them and at least you get in over with sooner (dont mean to sound as if i dont love my kids i do).

Just remember we all cope no matter what we have to deal with so i would say if you want 2 close together go for it. It will be tough but it wont last for long.

I wanted another one close to Olivia but as i end up in hospital sick when preg i need mums help which i wont be able to get for a year or 2.

I am finding Olivia ALOT easier than Jamie. You definately learn things from the first baby. Even being more confident helps as your baby senses it and feels more secure therefore a more content baby.

I hope i helped a little. If you want to know anything just ask. Im not very good at explaining myself

this was an easy one for me to decide.... it was decided for me. 2 kids straight away! haha

I love having two though, I know the close age gap (well no age gap!) will make them very close and that's what we wanted.

Will we have a 3rd? with a 1 in 80 chance of another set of twins we're not sure but personally i'd want to wait until the girls are both in school (about 4) before having another.

Two babies is hard work but SO worth it - if us twin mummies can do it - you can cope with two as well hun! :-)

(bet that reply didn't help much sorry!) xx

hi mrs e, well i have 3 and think i have quite big age gaps between them all, my eldest is 10 my middle is 6 then youngest 5 months so a big gap between eldest and youngest and even between my 2 eldest.
i would probably have liked a 3 year gap between the boys but took me that long to persuade oh to have another lol, but when 2nd was born 1st was jst about to turn 4 and looking back this was great i had my time with my 1st and then along came my 2nd.
think it is an induvidual choice and small children can be demanding especially when they are 1 or 2 so i dont think i would have coped at all but everyone is different and as babylove says if thats how it is you will cope just fine.
with regards to 2nd children being easier this i think is defenitly true you are so much more confident with them.
i am thinking now it would be nice to have another close to Eva so she has a pal the way my boys r together, even though there is 4 years between them my 2nd is so much more mature than my 1st was at that age so therefore they r really close. anyway good luck with whatever you decide. nicky xx

I have never met anyone who has regretted the age gap between their children or regretted having another whether that's second, third or fourth. You make it work whatever life throws at you, it just gets better and better. I could never imagine being able to love a second child quite as much as my first but you do, and you surprise yourself with the amount of love you are capable of.
I've found things so much easier this time round which in turn has made Jed a very relaxed and easy going baby. You've made all your mistakes the first time and you know what works for you.

Personally I like small age gaps as you are just in 'the zone'. I knew where my steriliser was packed as I had only just put it away, I could still remember how to go about weaning and all my baby clothes were nicely organised in the loft.

There are days when things are hard and breastfeeding seems to take so long in the begining. The sight of me BF seemed to directly stimulate Mia's bowels quite often, but it didn't kill Jed to be detached from the breast for a few minutes whilst I delt with her. I find now the best thing to do is to occupy her with a task like reading a book or sticking or painting whilst I feed.

Bringing another baby into the family brings a whole new dimention, more fun and more challenges.

You'll be great whatever you decide. x x

Hi, like Lisa Marie says I think the gap is very personal and everybody manages whatever the gap. I think if you analyse it too much it seems impossible, but like everything else in life you just get on with it when it happens!

Tommaso is 2 and 1/2 and Daisy is 4 and 1/2 months, so I got pregnant when Tom was about 18 months. For me that was a good gap, because my body was truly back to normal and I managed to get back into shape, also Tom could walk, climb into his own chair in the car etc. when I was heavily pregnant. He's been out of nappies for just a few weeks, that was the only thing I found hard, the potty training and huge amounts of washing it entailed while I had Daisy to look after.

Personally I am finding it much much easier the second time around. Daisy is also a much quieter baby than Tom was, she sleeps better, waits longer between feeds etc, and I think that has a lot to do with me being calmer and more sure of myself this time too. Even labour was much faster this time! I went to hospital 6cms dilated and gave birth an hour or so later! Gosh, I'm even starting to think about a third myself, although with a bigger gap as I really want to go work for a few years.

Oh yes labour is far quicker. I was the same, 6cm when arrived at hospital, 10 cms 5mins later and gave birth 30mins later.

Ooh thanks for this mrs-e it's been useful to read for me too!! We wil definately want another ( all things allowing I mean) but lo is such an angel I'm dreading having a demon child ( like I was!!) hehee
think I'd like her to be at nursery if anything xxx

thank you so much for all your replies it is really interesting and i'm going to show my hubby!

i plan on going back to work part time (boooo, wish i didn't have to work at all) but does anyone know how long you'd have to work full time for to get full maternity pay etc from employer or will that vary from organisation to organisation?

xxx

Good post as I am think along the same lines.

I have quite a few friends with babies close together so think im just going to go for it, as they have coped well.
I dont plan to go back to work at the moment, so although we are not going to try as such we are not going to not try either.

I worry that as I found it so easy to conceive the first time I might not get so lucky next time. I also want to go back to uni to retrain so having 2 close together would help get that done sooner, as they would hopefully go to school in consecutive years.

I wish my labour was faster! Not fair, mine was about the same but much more confident I knew what was coming.

Not sure about the pay, I know in the NHS if you don't return for at least three months you have to pay back you mat pay from them. Also your mat pay is calculated from weeks 17-25 of pregnancy so if you can work full time for those weeks you'll get full time mat pay if not it would be calculated on a part time wage. I considered it but didn't want to put Mia in full time nursery. Stat mat pay is the same. For me working 20 hours a week is the perfect balance, it's nice to get a little bit of you back again. x x