Hi Ladies just need to let this out before I start crying in work, I feel so down and scared.
I have felt great up to today, obviously alittle nervous but was feeling confident but as it gets closer to the weekend I think my PMA is disappearing!
At this point with my chem pg I was ok but on the saturday I started bleeding and then it was over, I cant bare the thought of history repeating itself! I have woke up this morning with a slight niggly pain in my shoulder blade that comes n goes, I had this last time! I googled it at the time and it said that it can be a sign on miscarriage so now I am panicing!
I just can't help comparing to last time and it is making me so sad. I was going to take another test but I dont know if I can face it, what if the line has got fainter like last time
Sorry for the self indulgent moan gilrs
:cry:
xxxxxxxxxxxx

Morning
Thanks to everyone for your support, I tested again this morning with FMU and there was a line but it was the faintest line ever which makes me think that my hormone levels are dropping. I wish I hadnt tested now as would be ignorantly in bliss!
This is exactly like last time so I am just waiting for the bleeding to start now, I don't feel like I am going to come on or have any pains like I did last time but this might just be a matter of time.
I would give anything for bean to be just having a bit of a nap and will suddenly swing into action but I think in reality its over
Thanks again for all your lovely messages of support it really means alot
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Well still no bleeding but I did another test on sunday morning and BFN so I guess its over for me! Had strange pulling sensation across my belly button over the weekend and yesterday I was so tired and had a headache all day, if I hadnt of tested again I would swear I was still pregnant but I did test again and the BFN is all thats needed really to tell me that I have had another chem pg!
Last time I had started to bleed already by this point but still no sign and I dont even feel like its on its way but Im sure it will turn up soon no doubt! As if my body was being cruel enough it looks like it is going to mess me around with AF as well!
I just feel so sad and numb, I am being really sharp with Hubby but I can't help it! I am just so angry and bitter that this has happened again, all I can think is why me! Selfish I know!
To have 2 chem pgs in under 3 months as well, I can't help but think that there is something wrong with me, what if I will never be able to carry a baby!
I am going to leave it a few days and then go to the doctors, last time I went when I was having the chem pg she just sent me away with a 'lets see what happens in a week' so I am not going to waste my time.
If I have started to bleed by then then I know its a chem pg, if I havent then I will need to know whats going on in there.
Just needed to get this out
x

[Modified by: MrsCCarter on 09 November 2009 10:00:39 ]

((big hugs)) please dont worry and try to keep up PMA google is a nightmare for self diagnosis!! if you do retest dont worry if the line in faint- doesnt necessarily mean anything as long as its there!! please try not to work yourself up

x

Hi MrsCarter,

Try and remain calm, fingers crossed your bean is snuggled in there for the next 9 months!

I know its not a nice suggestion but could the pain in your shoulder be trapped wind? That was my first symptom of being pregnant and it was so so painful!

As for taking another test I keep retaking tests just to be sure but when I told the doctor on Monday that i've now done 7 tests on various days just to check that its not dissappeared he laughed at me. He said if i've had a bfp there is a bean in there somewhere and I should only worry if I bleed (and even then it may not be a miscarriage).

But i'm still going to take another test this evening as I just don't feel pregnant anymore

This waiting up until the scan is so so hard. Chin up.xxx

Thanks ladies
I have just been out for a walk to clear my head and feel abit better! I think I am just working myself up. The pain in my shoulder blade is nothing really its not even pain so I might just be being daft!
Thanks for your support
xx

Looks like I had good cause to worry, just tested again and BFN! I just can't believe this is happening to me again! I can't face this again

oh sweetie i'm so sorry you got bfn. I have my finger crossed it was just a dodgy test and your little bean is still with you. take care xxxx

Aw i'm sorry. Is it worth testing again in a day or 2?
xxxx

aww mrs carter , I'm sorry you're having all this worry. maybe if the pee wasn't first morning, it was just a low concentration at the mo, try again in the morning. if you still have a bfn, got see ur doc for blood test. thinking of you xx

Thanks for your replies, I think I am going to have to prepare myself for the worst.
I am going to test again in the morning with FMU if it comes back BFN then I know the outcome
x

Sorry you are having such a worrying time MrsCarter. What tests are you using? Is the one you got BFN on different to the one you got BFP on?

I hope you get a nice line when you test in the morning.

Big Hugs

CJ x

Oh no, I hope it's not a chemical pg MrsCC.
Let us knwo what happens in the morning.
Fingers crossed

Thinking of you and hope it's a BFP in the morning xx

Oh MrsC, praying it's just a dodgy test hon. Will be thinking of you tomorrow. xx

Thinking of you MrsC

Fingers crossed for tomorrow.

Do you drink a lot of water? If you do and you did the test after you had drank a lot of water it may have diluted the hcg which would have an effect on the hpt this early.

Tx

Oh MrsC, I think you should go to the docs hunni for a bloodtest, am hoping your HCG levels are just low rising.

Thinking of you hunni xxxx

Hi MrscCarter
I missed your post yesterday and have just seen this. I know you are terrified and fearing the worst, but a faint line is still a line. How many DPO are you? Was the test the same kind you had used before? There are so many variables with tests that means this is not over yet.
All any of us can do in these early, risky, stages is keep smiling, look after ourselves and try our damndest not to worry about tomorrow, or the next day, or the next month. You are pregnant TODAY.
Sending you lots of superglue for your bean
MrsB x

aww hun, try not to worry too much, as long as the line is there your pregnant. i hope that ur lil bean is sticky. xx

Thanks everyone it really means alot for your support.
If I hadnt of taken that test then I swear I would be thinking I feel more pregnant today! My symptoms had really disappeared up to now, hoping thats a good sign or I could be kiddinng myself.
My stomach feels so tight around my belly button, like pulling and I feel sickly on and off but that could just be me worrying! Was so tired last night that I went to bed at 8.30 and slept straight through and today I can't stop yawning.
I really hope and pray that this a just a blip and that my levels will raise again
Keep your fingers n toes crossed for me girls
xx

I have everything crossed for you hun xx

Hi Mrs Carter

If theres a line theres a line!! If you leave it a couple of days and test again over the weekend hopefully there will be a lovely line.

I didn't get any really strong lines on my tests but they were lines all the same.
xx

The only thing that worrys me is that when I tested on sunday there was a good line and now the line is so faint and I am 16-17 dpo so would have expected the line to be at worst the same or darker!
I can't believe for years I worried so much about not being able to get pregnant to know not being able to stay pregnant!
Why has this got to be so hard