I am having real problems trying to get my 4 month old son to have daytime naps. I dread everyday knowing I am going to have to try and get him to sleep when he is tired. I actually feel phisically sick at the moment from trying to get him to sleep then only sleeping for 30mins waking up then getting tired after an hour so going through the whole process again.

I used to wait until he whinged and looked tired, I would rock him until his eyes started to close then take him up to his cot and shh/pat him to sleep. This worked well until he started to scream when I put him in the cot and I would literally be shhing really loudly over him screaming, I would get all worked up etc so decided this was not the right way to get him to sleep.

I noitced after 1.5 hours he starts to get tired so last week I started to put him in his cot and just leave him to talk to himself. He would chat for 5-10 mins then start to cry so I would go in shh/pat him for seconds, he would calm down I would walk out and he would go to sleep. I was happy with this but this week it has all changed. He can get tired anywhere from 1 hour to 1.5 hours after being awake, then when I put him in his cot he cries straight away so I shh/pat him through the screaming and crying. Sometimes after about 10 mins he calms down sucks on his fingers and seems to be going to sleep, I leave the room then within mins he is crying again. I go back in and start the process all over again. Or other times he will just scream and scream, I will shh/pat him and he will eventually fall asleep but at the end of it I feel drained and sick.

I used to use the PUPD routine which worked well to start with but then he would constantly need to be picked up and I would have to rock him back and forth & shh to calm him down otherwise he just got hysterical even when I was holding him. Then I would put him down when calm and he would cry straight away!! This was also very stressful....

He NEEDS his sleep otherwise he whinges/screams & cries all day then bedtime comes and he is soooo overtired he screams like we are trying to hurt him.

He does not like his car seat or the pushchair but if he does fall asleep in them it is only for 20 mins then he wakes in a bad mood.

I don't know what to do......

Please can anyone give me any advice?

x

hi hun, the main thing i would suggest is be consistent with him- at the moment hes prob getting mixed messages- one minute u r doin the PUPD method and the nxt minute ur not.
he is prob used to goin to sleep on you- being rocked or with u patting him to sleep that he hasnt actually figured out how to go to slepp by himself. one thing that really worked with my youngest was swaddling- she loved the feeling of being wrapped up like she was being cuddled and she woud go of in a few minutes- have u tried swaddling? does he have a dummy to settle him? also could u give him something that would smell of u- like a muslin blanket? just try and stay calm and patient as if ur getting worked up he will prob sense it.
i have a winnie the pooh which plays lullabys which my lo seems to like.
its like a vicious circle as hes not getting the sleep he needs, so is grumpy, then hes overtired and cant fall asleep, so i know what u mean about him needing his sleep, my lo is exactly the same. good luck, hope it gets a bit easier soon. xxx

I think the suggestions that butterfly has made really make sense, you need to choose one routine and stick with it.
My lo wouldnt sleep in her cot at first, she always fell asleep either on her floor mat or her bouncy chair. Once I put her in the cot I had a mobile that I only use for naps, I put that on and leave the room straight away. In the beginning when she used to cry i'd go in, shush her then leave again without picking ehr up. Each time I would stretch then length of time for me going in and now she goes down no problems. She now has her mobile on for naps and her musical star for night time and the difference works really well. She doesnt always nap for long, sometimes 20 mins, sometimes 3 hours (v.rare) but usually about 45 minutes. I try to put her down about every 2 hours.

sorry forgot to add- like lampchop says- we make sure she knows the difference between the day time naps and night time- day time i leave the curtains open and nighttime obviously curtains are closed and she goes in her sleeping bag- where as in the day she doesnt use the sleeping bag- just a blanket- i think that- along with a good routine has helped her realise her day naps and her nights sleep are completely different. xxx

Thank you for your replies.

I spoke to the HV today and she advised me to do controlled crying with him so we are going to start that as of tomorrow.
LO has never been swaddled as he sleeps on his tummy, he has never been able to sleep on his back. He won't take a dummy, he does not have a very strong sucking reflex (so the Ostropath tells us) and putting a dummy in his mouth makes him heave - we have tried on many occasions but he either gets upset or is actually sick.
I wanted to give him a snuggle or a muslin to sleep with but I saw somebody gave there LO a muslin to chew on after a feed and they ended up getting it stuck in their mouth and choking!!! I really don't want to risk him covering his face....

Bedtime is absoutely fine, we have our routine and he has his growbag for night time so he can tell the difference between night and day. I put him down after a feed and he settles himself to sleep.

The HV told me not to rely on musical aids or light shows and that LO should be able to settle himself to sleep. If all else fails though I will definitely give it a go.

Once again thank you for your advice. I spoke to my Mum today who told me just to rock him to sleep!! I won't be going down that route!

x