AF is coming AGAIN! Oh the frustration! I am not due til Wednesday but wiped a little brown earlier so I know she is coming. I have spent the entire day being surrounded by other peoples children (my nieces 2nd Birthday) and wondering how it is fair they all have 2 or 3 kids and are mostly younger than me, I am only 27 myself. Why am I not allowed to have ONE, I don't think that is asking too much do you? *big sigh* well I suppose on with the dissapointment that is inevitable with month 20 xx

Oh what a pain socks. You will get there hun but I know how bloody annoying it is and you wonder if its ever going to happen.

Hope you're ok hun xxx

Oh sweet Ive been wondering how youve been getting on. That is so pants!! And your second cycle that is shorter than your norm, presuming she comes before Wed. I know you want to get your cycle back to your regular 28 days but maybe still getting your bloods done this month anyway will be able to tell you something. It could also be the stress that is messing with your cycle the past 2?

Sending you a massive hug XXX

Oh honey....big hugs xxxx It is so bloody annoying isn't it....,ust be espec when you've been told there's no reason for it. As ever, I hope the brown is actually implantation!!
I can totally relate to how you feel with family. I am also 27 and a lot of my cousins have had kids very young....some are 10 yrs younger than me and already have 2! It just seems so unfair when we're happily married and actually trying to start a family and just can't.....
But hun, we WILL get there....we WILL....

Just a thought, and hope not to worry you, but seem to remember your last AF was early by a few days too. Is it possible you're either miscalculating when ov is and missing it or that you have a bit of a short luteal phase? Maybe worth getting checked....but then may just be more stressful??? Sorry not very helpful point at all really.

Hugs... xxx
ps seeing as we always seem to be in sync, think my AF will be here tonight / tom as can feel her on the way.

Oh socks, it's just not fair. I know all too well how you feel and I know that nothing I say today will make you feel any better as the first day is always the worst. I'm just going to give you a big hug, we all understand how frustrating this is x

Thanks girls, TBD I don't think we missed it even if I ov'd early we bd'd every other day since last AF finished. Bit worried about the LP though. Don't know why it has gone a bit crazy the last two months. I would love to believe it is implant but I have worlds worst AF cramps so I have taken some feminax and resigned myself to the fact that is is obviously not meant to be ... yet again.

Thanks for the hug Sim, much needed and as always you are right, I know I shoud get my bloods done, it is just stressing me out thinking about it so I have been avoiding it and keeping busy with other things.

Sparkly Flump, you are very right, I am wondering if it will ever happen.

Hope you are feeling better today Angel Fish, btw I was just going to shorting your name to AF and then thought better of it! Eek!

xx

Socks do u often get the brown spotting before af??

I'm sorry i can't remember where u are with ur treatment or testing etc but have you been checked for endometreis (sp)?? i use to get this alot as result of mine and can cause the painful cramps/af as well.

Really hope month 20 is ur month...it was lucky 4 me.

Lilac*
xxxxxxxxxxxx

Hi - I very rarely post, but thought I would say hi as the very same thing has happened to me today, I totally feel your pain. AF not due til Friday, but yes, I've started to spot and I am gutted. It's stupid to hope, 24 months down, but this month I had my HyCoSy (thought this might have given me a clear out), I had ovulation pain and a positive OPK on day 16, BD every day since day 10...and now this. I know how you're feeling x

Well honey, you know how I feel that it has to be your decision about going for your bloods...but youve just said yourself that you are stressing about them. After deciding about 2 months ago that you would go for them (at some point), your cycles have started to shorten (albeit only a little but i know you used to have a guaranteed 28day cycle). Yes you were away on hols the first month but this month you have been back to normal. I can only question that maybe the stress of thinking about the bloods / anticipation of going for them / fear of the results / may be causing your cycle to suddenly change.

The obvious thing (from the outside) may be to go ahead and just get them done. No more worrying over the "what ifs".

As for thinking you may be wasting NHS resources or anyones time... you aren't.

Let me present it another way to you... is it worth month on month trying not to think about ttc but nevertheless doing so (because its bloody hard not to when all you want is your BFP), suffering the anxiety throughout the 2ww, coming to the end of your cycle and wiping brown and getting the cramps before AF arrives again, and going through all the motions of disappointment/frustration/sadness...when going for some bloods may just give you some answers that you need to move forward. Finding out that either nothing is wrong which may kick your body into gear, or that some assistance is required somewhere and an action plan can be put together, resulting in getting you your BFP much sooner than trying to battle against something that remains unknown to you and continues to quietly cause you stress?

Avoiding it and running away wont make you stress less about going for them "one day". If anything, you will be likely to stress more as time goes by unless you really think you can just put them out of your mind. Can you put ttc out of your mind every day each month?

I hope Im not coming across too harsh. You know how much I care about you and want so badly for you to get your BFP. You also know, but Im going to tell you again, that I will be here every day to support you until you do, no matter what you have to go through to get there or how long it takes. It's just that as hard as it is for you every month to deal with the disappointment of AF arriving, I feel sad for you too and just want to offer any help and support that I can to get you through.

I hope the cramps are easing for you honey. Have a think about things, write them down here and if you want to tell us what your feeling. What your fears are, what you feel stressed about...it may just help you process things better. We are all here for you...

Even bigger hugs to you sweet XXX

As usual, ive got to the board to late, the other girls have said it all already.

I agree with Sim, The bloods may reveal something very simple. My first bloods indicated im not ovulating, hence the move to clomid. I know that is a stess itself but i could have kept trying month after month with no chance. Im sure its not that for you, but hope that when you do decide to go for it, it will be a step in the right direction, even if it rules out certain things. I do believe it will all come good for you in the end socks... it has too!

Anyway, hope you have plenty of choccy on standby, and you are allowing yourself a nice glass of wine. Af is due for me at the end of the week so i will likely be joining you, drowning my sorrows!

Hugs

Gem x

Yes I know you are right. It is just my needle phobia that is stopping me from going. I know I need to deal with. GEM sadly no chocolate I have a stomach bug and can't keep much down, oh happy days! xx hope you are all well xx

Honey, dont let that stop you. Besides, when you fall pg you will need to have lots of bloods taken over the months to follow so try to look at it as preparing yourself to overcome your phobia. Ive been able to do it (no more passing out down the halls or outside and needing strangers to come to my rescue ) so if I can do it, you can my love. Just focus on your breathing and breathe it all away.

Hows your stomach bug today hon?

xx

Hi Socks, sorry that i've got to this message so late.

First of all i want to send you a {HUG}, I know that's what i normally need when the stupid witch is on her way. Secondly i'd like to mirror what some of the other girls have said about getting your bloods done. My husband has a needle phobia and we explained this to the doctor/nurse and they were so understanding...he was allowed to lay down and the nurse talked him through what she was doing and then he was given a sweet cup of tea and allowed to stay on the bed for as long as he needed it.

If you could manage to find a way to get your bloods done it will be such a weight lifted from your mind. All us girls from LTTC will come with you if you want!!

x

it also helps to take some sweets with you in your bag hon.... i remember when I was little at the docs they had a jelly bean jar but they dont see to give these out to adults!

xx

Still have tummy ache. And just to add to the issues my af looks like it is stopping already after just two days. *sigh*

I know I need to get over the phobia and I know I will need tests when I am pg. I am getting there I can now watch injections on tv without feeling sick and dizzy and that is huge xx thanks for your support as usual xx

Oh socks please do not give up hope! We were trying for a baby for 2 years and it does happen in the end! x

Well you are doing better than me if you can watch injections on the telly! No way can I do that!! Eeeek!

Has your AF stopped now?? Completely? That is strange if it has. Not wanting to give you false hope but... if it has stopped, perhaps it's not a real AF at all?

xx

Hey socks, ooh hope AF stopping is a good sign!! I often get bleeding for 2 days, then pretty much nothing for 3rd day, then back to spotting for day 4-6. Just to reassure you if it's not a BFP as my bloods all came back normal. Re; the needle phobia - have you tried asking your GP about getting some help - you may be able to get some CBT therapy to help you overcome this. Or maybe hypnosis? Can't wait to hear if it's good news.... xx

Yes completely stopped after barely a day and a half. The same thought crossed my mind actually about it not being proper af even though I knew it was not a good sign I did a test anyway because I was thinking about it constantly. It was bfn of course. So it is obviuosly just my body playing yet more tricks xx Help would be good tbd. I recon the blood donation people should offer it because I am sure it would increase their chances of having more blood donors. I would donate if I wasn't so scared! xx had a few tears this evening. Just feeling a little drained with it all xx

Aw hon....sorry to hear that it was BFN. Don't mean to give false hope, but if it WAS implantation bleeding then still maybe too early for a BFP? I'd test again in a few days or a weeks' time if still no more bleeding.

Ask your GP for help sweetie....CBT will help you by gradually exposing you to your fears....which you have already started doing if you can look at them on TV. When you're pg you will HAVE to get used to it so it will be worth it either way hon. I kinow it must be scary for you though.

Take care and have a good rest xxx

What is CBT? I really don't think I am pg, My boobs don't hurt at all I am nausious but I have had diahorria for a few days so I am fairly sure it is just a stomach bug. Hope you are looking after yourself with all your jabs and tablets! xx