I'm seeing the consultant this week at long last, and although I've been desperate to have the answers I'm now scared that any progress I've made in not breaking down every 2minutes will slip away and I'll be back to square one.
I was just wondering if when any of you got your consultant appt, did it give you some sort of closure or the complete opposite? I don't know what answers I want but I've almost numbed myself and pushed the whole thing out of reality (which may be s really bad thing to do?) and Im scare this is going to force all my pain for Angel back into the open!

Thanks

Hi,

I've not been given an appointment to see a consultant, I have a bereavment midwife who phone's me regularly to see how I am, but she said it was up to me if I want to see my doctor. She called yesterday to say that some of the blood tests have come back and all is normal, including the chromosome test they did on me and my partner, which was a massive relief. Although it doesn't give us answers as to why Ewan died, it does tell us that we are ok to try again as we don't have any physical problems.

I hope you get on ok with the consultant and they give you the news you want to hear. From my experience over the last few weeks anything can trigger your pain, sometimes it's just a smile from someone i've not seen since it happened that does it to me.

Good luck and let us know how you get on xx

I hope the meeting with the consultant gives you some much needed answers and doesn't put you back too far. Remember it is ok to be sad and have a good cry, you need to let your grief out. And it is also ok to do normal things, enjoy Zach, have happy moments, and to try and get back to some kind of every day life.
Did you get anywhere with looking for a bereavement councellor? Maybe this is something you could ask your consultant about if not?

Big hugs coming your way, you'll be in my thoughts and prayers this week hun. Let us know how you get on. xxxx

Hi there,
I did got to the consultant about 4 weeks after my loss. I found it hard & to be honest it didn't put my mind at rest.....but I am glad I went. I totally understand about putting the event in the back of your mind & just getting on with day to day living.....I think that must be normal. If you do decide to go, please let us know how you get on.
Take care xxxx

Hi, I saw the consultant 6 weeks after I lost our little girl, to be honest in some ways it made me feel better and others worse, It did bring it all back to me again as like you I had put it at the back of my mind, however it did give me answers as to what had happened, that is what I really needed. Definitely go and remember it is ok to be sad and have a cry about it but I promise you the sad times will get less as time goes on, it is 6 years since my little angel grew her wings and mostly I am fine about it and can talk about it and think about her without being sad but sometimes I do still feel sad and cry. Hope you get the answers that you need xxxxx

Thank you all so much, there is no way I wouldn't go as I am desperate for answers and help even BUT I've just had a call and they have cancelled my appt saying results won't come through for at least another 6 weeks and they'll rearrange then!!!!!! I can't believe it, I feel so let down, noone seems to be caring about how much worse they're making something that's already so horrible! By those times though I'll be lucky to hear anything before the new year, having felt positive I'm now back at rock bottom and can't stop crying! Think I might call my dr and ask why I'm getting NO support at all!

Aww hun, that is terrible, why is it taking so long, phone them up, it is not acceptable that something like this should take so long. (((((((hugs)))))) xxx

I agree with Hayley. I'm sorry this is taking them so long x

That is terrible, why on earth does it take so long for them to get answers to something this important. I would def go to your GP and say how this is affecting you and ask if there is anyway they can speed things up a bit.You definately need prof support hun. xxxxxxxxxx

Thanks they've said the results aren't through yet, I guess we're bottom of the pile in priority as it's not like they can bring Angel back and there's that high percentage of 'no idea' results so they prob figure there's no rush................ I hate it, it's like phoning customer services as you only ever get through to the middle man who doesn't care either way and is 9x. Of 10 clueless Aaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrggh!
Oh and I have decided the only way we're now going to be able to get on with lives is act like we never opted for autopsy and leave everything to fate, I've already been told my bloods were all fine so in theory would be low risk next time! Eugh my mind is going around in circles as to how we should react/feel now!

Hey,

Just wondering how you are? Have they given you a date yet? I had a call on Tuesday, no indication of the post mortem results, just advising me that it would still be a couple of months wait!!

Anyway, hope you're ok xx