Helloo,
Im 21 and 32 weeks pregnant

didnt know until i was 20 weeks tho, so a lot of recent, last minute changes have been made! super supportive partner who has been a rock the whole time, but unfortunately this has not been able to eradicate my fears and anxieties.

I had just passed my first year of uni when we got the news and although I'm allowed to return in a years time, I still can't help but feel a bit out of my depth as I REALLY don't know what to expect and therefore don't know how to prepare 4, well anything.

To make matters worse, I have searched endlessly for support systems or advice, similar to those offered to teen mums; single mums; career mums etc but i just seem 2 slip through all of these brackets
...so feelin a bit excluded.

sorry about the rant but is anyone else in my boat? my age? similar situation?

all replies appreciated, thanks
xx

Hiya hun just read ur post ..
congratulations!
im 23 (dunno if thats young lol) i was 22 wen i found i was pregnant.
i finished uni and been in my job for a year.
ur very lucky to have such a supportive partner!!

its great u can go bk an study (even part time)

just some advice (im not an expert my lo is 5 months) but u can never read or prepare urself before hand however much different baby books u read. it never prepares u for wat exsactly happens..

all babies r sooo different and u will know wot to do when the baby is here!!! if u want to chat or know anything email me if u like or post in pregnancy or the due in (month) forums and everyone can offer u advice.

it might all seem scary now but as soon as u have ur baby ull feel very different ... hope ur feeling ok .

Heya JoJo,

I am 21 too! Sorry to hear you are struggling with finding support. Are you aware of the grants available for pregnant women, I know there is one for £190 you can get at 25wks and I am sure thers a few more. The Directgov website has a lot of info. Couldnt you ask your midwife about what support is available in your area?

I am only 13+1 but if you ever want to chat I am normally in the Due in May or you can email me. xxx

[Modified by: squiggle*2010 on October 31, 2009 08:12 PM]

wow, thanks 4 the advice ladies. hope ur both well!

totally agree - no matter how much i try 2 read up on books and magazines, nothings seems to settle my nerves.

as for my midwife, its hard 2 build any kind of rapport as i've had 3 different ones in my last 4antenatal appointments.
also, didnt really manage 2 click with any of the women in my antenatal classes as i was clearly the youngest ( i look younger than 21, which attracted a few odd looks a knocked my confidence a bit)

i live in northampton, pretty small & not much goin on support-wise so with all my free time these days, i thought i'd try and be productive and maybe form my own kind of support group for young mums in my area (instead of sittin around piling on the pounds, lol)

Im a newbie so just planting the seed at the mo but would really love to develop the idea and thought these forums would be the best place 2 start.

ur both classed as star users :-) any advice on how to reach more ppl?
thanks again 4 ur replies.
xx

I understand what you mean with the midwife. I was getting some bleeding on Thurs/Fri/Sat so tried to speak to a midwife and none will help me! Still havent spoken to anyone, just going to see my doctor on Monday! It is stupid but typical I suppose. I also know what you mean about looking young, I probably still look about 18/19 and although I dont have a bump yet I know ppl are going to stare when I do. I am worried about it but I just keep thinking I am not an uneducated little chav who doesnt have a clue, I will be a brilliant mum n that is all that matters!!

I think it is a lovely idea to set up a support group! Not sure how you go about doing it but I wish you the best of luck.

These forums are brilliant, the ladies are lovely and going through all the same things as you so can offer great advice and support. I think really you need to join the 'due in..' forum for when you are due and introduce yourself, then just start repling on other peoples topics and post your own. They will welcome you! I am probably only a star user coz I get internet on my phone so can log on all the time lol! Bit sad but I like being involved!

Do you know what you are having? xx

hehe same as squggle I got internet on my phone!i think i post alot more since ive had My lo rather than when i was pregnant. I didnt click with anyone in my antenatel as everyones alot older. however ive been to a few mum n baby groups but they seem to be older aswell ........... we go to waterbaby classes which are amazing (recommend them) and there are a few in there late 20's. so its nice to have a chat with them.

none of my mates have babies !! so when i do see them i find it hard not to talk about babies (dont wanna bore them lol) but its my life atm and i do love it!!!

have a look on netmums website and it will tell u what is on in ur local area classes etc !!

I was lucky with my midwife i saw the same one i had her mobile number to contact her and she was only a few years older than me!

but def ask things on here !! It is very easy to just stay at home !! but def find things to do (ive got a dog and so we have to go out everyday) either up the woods or to the beach and it gets my Lo out aswell and tires her out hehe !!

enjoy the rest of ur pregnancy hun as it comes and goes soooooooooooooooooo fast! anything u wanna know (although im only 5 months in to being a new mummy) click on my email button or if u want to addme on facebook if u have it ! ?

yep, you're right, these forums are brilliant - giving me a bit more confidence too! and if i had the internet on my phone - i'd be exactly the same!

im also the only one out of my friends to have a baby and as brilliant as they are, its hard 4 them 2 really understand where my head is at, so outside support is quite a big deal 4 me. i know what u mean about not wanting 2 bore ppl with endless pregnancy stories!
they're all talking about xmas shopping, while i'm trying 2 decide on pain relief!

just looking on the netmums website now and found some events in northampton, so thanks jojo ( can't find ur email button tho)

sqiggle, hope u were able 2 see your doctor 2day and nothing was too serious.

definately want 2 enjoy the rest of my pregnancy, got a couple of baby showers to look forward to thanks 2 my mum and friends.
its made me realise that i really shouldn't worry what strangers think when they look at me and my bump and see what they think is a young immature girl who has ruined her life. BUT, that doesn't mean i don't wanna scream, "what r u looking at?!" every time one of them stares at me when they think i haven't noticed!

ahh well, you'll see a lot more of me on here as i think i've found something thats very therapeutic!x

glad u found a few things on netmums! i think ive enabled my email buttton now lol i didnt realise u couldnt see it!.

glad u like it here everyone is really lovely!

do u know wot ur having? exciting!!!!

yup, i see it now, lol. thanks!

yea, everyone seems lovely here and 2 be honest - i'm already a little bit hooked!

we're having a little girl. i can't believe i only found out 13 weeks ago and now theres 7 weeks left! - been a lot 2 get my head round but im so excited! and trying not to freak out too much! lol hows ur lo gettin on?

awww (girls r the best hehe)
My little one is 5 months now and its flown we called her Morgan. shes brillant! so much fun hehe makes me laugh. shes sitting on her own now.
Although i miss being pregnant i loved it !!! i did have a nice easy pregnancy though.

have u bought everything ? xxx

not at all! got a few things but will have to wait and see what the baby fairy brings - got a couple of baby showers that my mum and friends are throwing 4 me which should help a lot.

everyone keeps reminding me of how expensive having a baby can be!

we did want a boy at first but after spending time with my nephew - (who is lovely) i don't think I would have the energy, lol!
besides, ican't wait to spoil her - u sound like you're havin loads of fun your lo.

I must say tho, ive had enough of being pregnant - and i mean that in the nicest way possible - lyind down in bed has actually turned into a chore. I've always been really active so its a bit of a shock to the system to be so immobile!
but not long left...xx

i think babys r only as expensive as u make them . they do need alot of things but can always buy them at low prices!!
Morgan has loads of clothes and ive never spent more than £5 on each item! well actually her snow suit but that was only £10 (asda , primark, peacocks, matalan and tesco are amazingly cheap for baby clothes) they grow out of them so quick ive already got a black bag full of clothes that are too small.

ah im sure ull have loaddddddddddds of things from ur baby shower !!

yer i try to keep active through my pregnancy (im a personal trainer) however i do have a springer spaniel dog (who needs walking everyday for about an hour) lol i was actually out with her wen my waters went when i was up the park with her !! i was 41+4)

aww yer i do remember lying in bed horrible until i got one of those jumbo long pillows..

wats ur due date !! xx

due on the 19th dec so not long left to go! starting to panic tho - a few weeks ago, i was so calm, i was ready 2 give birth there and then!

but more recently, ive been avoiding any birth/pregnancy books and mags like the plague. can't even bring myself to write a birth plan.

...waters breaking while im out in town is one of my biggest nightmares - don't think i will know what 2 do. every1 says the key is to stay calm, but let's be honest now, how calm can u be standing in a puddle, in the baby aisle in Boots?

ur definately right about baby bargains too - found loads of lovely things at reasonable prices. don't know if uve been, but recently went to Westfields shopping centre in London, and came across a pair of booties for £75! so won't be going there again. can't wait 4 the baby shower!

so have u caught the broody bug? any plans 4 any more lo's? or is ur lovely little girl enough 4 now?xx

ahhh not long !!! mnn yer i kept watching those birth programmes on home+health channel I was scared to watch but couldnt switch off !!
its strange i could never imagine myself being i labour !
lol .. ahh i never wrote a birth plan? i was open to trying anything lol!! it never goes to plan anyways.... well my labour didnt.
i do have the broody bug!! lol .. my lo is enough for the moment (plus my dog is like having a toddler in the house) plus my hubby lol !! I think start trying end of next year maybe ..

hope u enjoy ur baby shower

[Modified by: JoJo* on November 10, 2009 05:07 PM]

oopps it posted twice

[Modified by: JoJo* on November 09, 2009 09:31 PM]

OMG mum@21 you sound exactly like me last year! my wee boy was due on the 19th Dec but was born on 5th as i had pregnancy induced hyper tension and was induced!

I was also in my first year of uni when i found out i was expecting and i've been back part time since september.

We fell through all of the gaps for benefits and all we get is child benefit and child tax credits. I'm fortunate enough for my partner to be in a reasonably well paid job and so i'm going to finish my degree with the OU so that i don't hav to fork out for childcare as the support is awful and just found out i'm pregnant with no2!!

Good Luck!!