Now then all :-)

Since my last post, I am feeling much better and I think that's down to two things I saw on tv last night.

The first was the news of that poor little girl with a rare form of cancer, for whom time is running out and the other was "My beautiful face"- a 25 year old girl who had sulphuric acid thrown in her face in an attack engineered by her bf.

The first made me feel so lucky that we don't have a living child that we are weeks away from losing, having loved and nurtured her for 2 years and the second made me feel lucky that at least we don't have a debilitating affliction, causing untold upset every day for the rest of our lives.

What has happened to us is awful, but we can get up and brush ourselves down and carry on and there are so many people who can't, after going through whatever it is that they have gone through.

So there. Just wanted to share my thoughts!!!!

Much love to all

Emma xx

Emma,

I'm so sorry about your bad news. I can't being to imagine how you and your husband must be feeling but I really admire your positive outlook on things.
When we (my sister and I) were younger we used to love the film Pollyanna. It was soo cheesy and twee but basically Pollyanna always had something to be glad about no matter how bad things were.
When I'm low about things I do try to put things into perspective, and be glad about things, but it is sometimes so difficult when something like this consumes you.
We are due to start our first cycle of ICSI in a month or so and I am full of fear and trepidation. Obviously I hope for a positive outcome but if not then the Pollyanna in me will have to be found methinks.

Hope that you feel ok over the coming days/weeks.

Big hugs

xx

Thanks Claire that's really kind. I just find as you do, that you have to try to find the 'Pollyanna' or the negative will eat you up!!

Here's hoping the ICSI is successful for you- you & everyone on here deserves a break of happiness by now!!

good luck - I have everything crossed for you!

Emma xx

Well done for trying to stay postive, it's so hard sometimes not to wallow in the misery of everything. I remember feeling very jealous of anybody who was pregnant, then a close friend lost her baby who was stillborn and another had a beautiful baby who also happens have a severely disability, and it made me change my whole outlook. I still have bad days but also know that life can be crap and different people all have there own stories to tell, and things to over come, even if it not ttc related, martial problems, health problems are common, obviously i dont wish it on anybody but i think its made me a bit more aware.

Anway, just wanted to say i think your being brillient. Well done and again, sorry for your loss. It truely is a horrible thing to go through.

Big Hugs

Gem x

Hey Em, what a wonderful post. You show real courage and strength to be able to see the positives right now. I really admire that, being a bit of a glass-half-full girl myself! I too saw my beautiful face and thought exactly the same thing - she was a true inspiration. Take care sweetie xxx

Thanks ladies xx

Big hugs Em xxxx

Thanks TBD- it's true about good days and bad- today's good luckily! Yesterday, I went to our local shopping centre and had no idea how hard that would be- had a good cry when I got home and was ok by eve to have a night out

How you going on TBD

Hey Em, yeah it's weird that isn't it....one minute I can feel just fine...almost happy even....and then the next I'm in a panic and feel like bursting into tears. I went into local shopping centre yest and was practically in tears the whole time as kept seeing pg women and babies EVERYWHERE.....also went out and had a good night last night!! It's such a blimmin' rollercoaster isn't it....

With what you have been through in the last couple months, it is totally understandable that you are feeling so up and down hon....as I say I'm bad enough and haven't been through what you have. You are being so brave about all this though sweetie. I really admire your attitude and how you seem to be coping. Have you got some good support networks around you?

I'm ok hon, just waiting for AF's arrival to start sniffing....should be here by tomorrow I think. Am on short protocol, so all being well it will be EC in a couple of weeks' time! Am feeling really nervous this week and very teary about it all. But have been listening to Zita Cd, and buying lots of protein rich foods and just trying to prepare myslef phyically and mentally for what is ahead.

Hope you are having a lovely relaxing sunday sweetie xxx

Yes it just seems to have been so easy for 99% of the population to conceive!!!!! I am sure that's not the case, but when faced with a busy shopping centre on a Saturday morning, it's hard not to feel that way! Can't believe we had the exact same day almost!!!!

Yes I have amazing family, friends and collegues- they have all been great.

So you could be starting as aoon as tomorrow!!!!! Oh my gosh, your head must be all over the place= So exciting though!!

Try hard to put other peoples experiences to the back of your mind though, because no two people are the same and really this is your experience which (with lots of luck and prayers) will be a successful one! Good on you with the preparations- putting in the best foundations is a great idea.

Well fingers crossed for AF tomoz and that thats the last you see of her for a while ;-)

Emma x

Yes it does seem so much easier for everyone else....but then I guess we don't really know what goes on behind closed doors. If we EVER manage to conceive then a lot of our friends and family won't know what a struggle it was and will assume it was easy for us because I'm still pretty young (if I still am then!!).

That's great you've got supportive people around you hon...must be very glad of that right now. We haven't told a soul about any of this and I'm slightly worried about coping if it all goes wrong. But I guess we'll tell people when we need to.

Thanks for the advice sweetie....you're very kind.

Take care xx