Hi

I have sons aged 7yrs and 19months.

Whilst my youngest son is well behaved and a pleasure to be with my other son is not.

I know this is really awful to think let alone say but I just don't know what i am going to do about my eldest sons behaviour.

Ever since he was a baby he has been difficult, always crying and never pacified whatever we have done. As a toddler he was much the same and it hasn't improved despite him now being 7.

He will not listen to what he is told and is seriously affecting family life. We can't go anywhere because the eldest son will more often than not have some sort of tantrum which means people will turn around and wonder what the hell we are doing letting a child his age act like this (it's made even worse that he is up to my shoulder height already so I really struggle to restrain him if he starts kicking out etc)

I never went to a doctor about his behaviour because he was always well behaved at nursery and then at school so assumed it was something we were doing wrong at home. However, recently there have been incidents at school that have concerned me. The worst being when he nipped his teacher and when the headmistress came to restrain him because he was having a shouting fit that disturbed the whole class he ran out and locked himself in the playground.

I took him to the GP last week and explained everything and the only thing he said was that it was food colourings. Now I am not stupid and one of the very first things I did with him as a toddler was cut them out of his diet to no avail. I explained this to the doctor but he just brushed my concerns off.

I really don't know what to do.....he isn't starved off time,love or affection. I am now a stay at home mum working just one day a week.

Even that one day a week is now going to havve to come to an end because the last of our relatives have refused to look after him. Every single relative that has looked after him while I'm at work has had enough and can't control him so have refused to have him again (that's on both sides of the family).

He is also on the SEN register at school because he is so far behind the class in his schoolwork. He has problems with his speech and has seen a therapist for this last year, although it's gone back to how it was now.

More often than not I am on my own with the kids as my husband works long long hours at work.

I really don't know what to do for the best and feel like I've failed. I see other children his age acting 'normally' and reading etc and look at my son who cannot concentrate at anything other than lego!

I'm sorry for such a long post but I simply don't know where to turn (I'm in tears now as I write this)

oh i am so sorry to hear this. children who have bad behaviour can really push us to the limits and so you must be incredibly patient and a loving parent. This is not your fault as other members of your family and now the school have had problems with him.
You have not failed him and even now you are doing whatever you can to help him.
I really don't know what to suggest as your doctor sounds useless. try a different dr perhaps? Or you could make an appointment at the school and see if there is somewhere that you can get your family refered - there is bound to be somebody that can help you.
If your son has problems at school and has had porblems with speach aswell he might be incredibly frustrated and not know how to let it out.
My overwhelming feeling for you is that you have tried to do your best but now you need somebody somewhere to support you and help you so you are not dealing with this on your own. I hope that you can find some contact through your school who will point you in the right direction, best wishes and big hugs x

You need to go back to the gp and get a referral to see a paeditricain at your local hospital.

Last year my son's already bad behaviour was escalating and I was pg with dd and could no longer cope. We saw a fab paeditrican ( we were there for almost 3 hours it was nice to be listened to!), and she said my son bordered on ADHD, but he just needed more sleep. We got Melatonin, and sure enough within 2 weeks his behaviour changed dramatically. I also went up at lunchtimes once a week to talk to his teachers to see how he was getting on and they were more than happy to help.

Good luck,

marnie