im a newbie, bit of a dilemma myself.

im 16+3 & recently single, due to my partner starting a new job & a pretty young girl taking a lyking to him considering he had a partner and little one on the way at home. now im stuck one minute he loves me next he doesnt & im useless. then he wants to know and bee there as much as he can come to every appointment, then doesnt like that im setting the rule's i dont mean it to be horrible but i myself am struggling with all this and trying not to stress cause of baby. already been in hospital due to stress from him & i dont want it again. but its heart breaking for me cause one minute he wants me then he dont then he does but not til babys here and maybe we can start again. but whats that going to do, we wont have that bond no more & im finding it hard and always forgivin because i love him & baby needs a father, would just like someone to tell me their views on it. i know i need to keep distance and im trying my best but then he wil break down and say hes being horrible for my own good so i concentrate on me and baby. finding it very hard when hes still trying to control who i see and speak to. he doesnt like me coming online because hes sure il meet someone else & doesnt understand im pregnant and im not lookin to start a new relationship with anyone else. but then the next minute im an elephant with a baby on the way and no1 else is gonna want me. its hurting and im finding everything so difficult. anyone have a say on this? sorry for such a long post guys, hope everyone else is ok x

hi :)

your ex sounds like mine...a total rat.

i was sort of in the same situation with my daughters dad .he left when i told him i was prgnant and quickly moved on2 a new girl but it wasnt enough for him, he kept dragging me back into teh situation and making me ill. you just need to be strong.i know its hard and the thought of single motherhood is scary but im sure you will manage fine. u just need 2 decide what it is you want and then stick to it. and do let him bully you in2 changing your mind. if you want to talk abt anything or just need some1 2 rant at feel free to contact me :) x

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thank you & same for you, ahh i know its hard tho especially as i love him but i myself know it aint gonna happen when hes just playing with my mind n stressin me and baby out, sure we wil be civil in time tho :) xx

Hi thought i'd reply, as your situation sounds really similar to mine, i was with my bf for five years, we had our first daughter last august, and when she was three months old he got a new job (he bought a pub) and then that came first. it was difficult for me because i just wanted him to bond with our baby but he was always working, and not helping me out when he got back.. not that i asked for much. i got pregnant this march, at which point i found out he liked a girl from work. he promised he wasnt doing anything but that was a lie... a few days after i said i was fed up with him he was sleeping with her (it might have been going on before that, but i'm not sure) and now i am 35 weeks and he is still messing me around, saying he doesnt know what hes doing, then saying i'm a horrible person, and accusing me of being with one of his friends which is untrue.

so youre not alone, i know how stressful it is, i feel so angry with my ex for ruining my pregnancy (i have been very ill as a result of stress) yet i still love him and want him to just see sense and stop messing around with this girl. i dont know what to do myself, so i cant really offer any advice but i think maybe the only thing to do is think that at the end of the day, they dont know what they're missing out on and thats their loss.

hope you get through it ok, good luck x

I have also just been through a similar situation, found out when i was about 7 months pregnant that my husband was cheating on me with a girl from work again he denied that anything had happened and tried to lie about it for some time although the truth always comes out in the end. I have a fantastic family and friends who have helped me through this extremely difficult and stressful time and since giving birth to my wonderful baby girl i have the strength to see him for what he really is. I very quickly realised that my little girl is all i need and it does get easier especially talking about it over and over again till things are clear in your own head. I feel as if i don't know the person i have spent so many years with as he has become someone i don't recognise and quite frankly someone that i do not want or need in my life. He has hardly seen his daughter and shows no interest in sorting out some kind of access to her at the moment - his loss! If they've done it once and got away with it for some time then they can do it to you again and you deserve better. I know it's hard when your future has been completely blown up but by dealing with the issues and broken dreams one at a time you will get through this and learn to be happy by yourself. You are worth a lot more than this and things will get better, i'm sure we will all look back on these horrific experiences and wonder how we got through it but will be stronger for it in the long run.