Mon 23 Nov 2009 | You are here: Home > chatroom > Messageboards > Miscarriage/ectopic support > Just want to know that I am not alone!
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Just want to know that I am not alone!

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Tigger1979
Joined : Oct 19, 2009
Posts : 8
Rank: Newbie

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Posted : Oct 19, 2009 10:01:36 AM
Subject : Just want to know that I am not alone!

I had a m/c on 10th October - was very early only about 4/5 weeks and really struggling to come to terms with it. My OH thinks that I should have got over the second I realised what had happened and keeps making hurtful comments such as at least your boobs look nice at mo! WhateeeEver!

Frankly it has been a bit of a rubbish year - I got made redundant in march and haven't managed to get another job so don't have much to distract me and am sitting at home brooding over how rubbish my life is.

Just want to know that there are others in a similar position and that it will get better!

Also when is safe to start ttc again? I don't think I can go through this again, but at the same time want to try again!

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Makka Pakka
Joined : Mar 04, 2007
Posts : 725
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Posted : Oct 19, 2009 11:25:20 AM

I'm so sorry Tigger. MC isn't just something you get over straight away, no matter how early it was.

Your OHs comments are really insensitive. He prob doesn't realise what he's saying, or maybe he's trying to make light of the situation by being witty.

It's taken until now for my DH to start talking to me properly and I had a D&C on 22 Sept. Plus we've been through this once before so you think he'd have learny how to communicate after last time.

Guys are just really bad (on the whole) when it comes to emotional stuff.

You could start TTC straight away but some people recommend waiting 1 cycle, especially if you had a natural mc and not a D&C like me. If there are any tiny bits of the first pg left, it could be a problem if you caught straight away. Then again, my SIL got pg straight away after a mc at 8 weeks and the 2nd pg was fine.

Take care,

Jo x

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laujai

laujai
Joined : Apr 01, 2009
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Posted : Oct 19, 2009 12:06:50 PM

Hello hun

I am sorry to hear about your loss. I think sometimes men just dont know how to deal with these sort of things & like Jo says sometimes try & make light of the situation when really we just want a cuddle & to be comforted. I understand how you feel about being bored etc we have had 3 mc in 12 months & have had to put ttc on hold as are having various tests & I got made redundant in Feb & have found it hard getting another job i've now got myself a puppie instead!!!

TTC again is fine as soon as you both feel ready emotionally to start over some want to get back straight to it & some like to wait for 1 cycle.

good luck & I hope that you start to feel a bit better soon xxx

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Tigger1979

Tigger1979
Joined : Oct 19, 2009
Posts : 8
Rank: Newbie

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Posted : Oct 19, 2009 1:01:05 PM

Thanks for the posts - it really helps to hear from other people who have gone through the same thing especially as I haven't felt able to confide in friends.

I got a puppy as well early this year to distract me - bit sad but not sure what I would have done without her!

Best of luck to you both as well!x

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Makka Pakka
Joined : Mar 04, 2007
Posts : 725
Rank: Star user

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Posted : Oct 28, 2009 9:27:13 PM

He, he.... I'd LOVE a puppy, but I don't think I'd be able to give a puppy the love an attention needed with a toddler in tow too! Plus we've got a tiny garden.

Hope you're feeling better Tigger and that you're talking things through a bit with OH.

Take care, J x x x

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