im getting very worried of how i will cope with my 16 month old and new born, due in jan,

whats ur average day like, do u have a routine? when did u start a routine? thanks hayley,jayden and regan bump xxx

Hi
My eldest daughter Felicity is 3 years 9months
My youngest daughter Ella is 10 weeks.

Im lucky that my eldest is at nursery from 9 til 11.30 so I get to spend some time with the baby. I quite often walk into town, meet a friend or do housework when she sleeps.
In the afternoons we all go to the park or a friends house to play or they come to us. On a rainy day we paint, draw &cuddle up watching tv.
When Ella is awake she gets most of my attention and I like to involve Felicity. When she sleeps I give all my attention to Felicity.

I have a strict routine from 5pm...

Felicity bath at 5pm
Dinner at 5.30
Feicity bed at 7pm
Ella bath at 8pm
Ella bed at 9pm

I started this as soon as my OH went back to work but didnt do the bedtime routine for Ella until a week ago.

routine normally goes out the window at weekends though LOL

Its tiring but worth it xx

Great question and great reply - thank you both

Im starting to worry about how Im going to cope with my 19month old and a newborn in early Feb. Don't get me wrong I dearly want this baby but Im starting to worry how she will fit into my already mad days! Im sure it will all work out (well it has to doesn't it) but I just want to be able to give my son the same love and attention as always and my newborn girl the same - is that possible?

Charlotte

Hi girls, hope you dont mind me posting...............many moons ago ( about 6yrs lol) I was a second time mum just like your selves.
I have a rough age gap of 2 yrs between each of my first 3 children.
Anyway personally I think just taking each day as it comes to start with makes all the difference. Remember you are learning what to do being a second time mum as well as your toddler is learning to adapt to having a sibling.
NEVER stress over what you have done or havent done compaired to other mums, we all cope slightly differently. Me? I am a complete routine freak! I have made sure my children have stuck to a regular routine right from day one purley because thats what works for me.
My sister on the other hand is very flexible and my nephew tends to sleep where he drops etc.
No way is the right way unless it suits you and your lifestyle.

I would say, always include your toddler in alot of everyday stuff i.e dusting, sweeping, loading the washing machine etc because not only does it give them time with you once the baby is born, its fun for them to do "grown-up" jobs all the while you are actually keeping an eye on them without them realising lol!
If they play up while you feed the baby get a special toy box with a few select toys just for feed times. or if they are not the best "shopping trolley sitters" give them a mini clip board and a pencil and let them scribble away while you chat about carrots or what not!!

There is always a little something that makes the day go smoothly, just find a groove that works for you and enjoy your days.

Sorry to go on there lol! goodluck to you all xx
babs3+bean 23 +weeks baby no'4!!

Hey ladies, my oldest was 16 months when i had my second, and i will be honest, the first few weeks are really hard.

I used to feed the baby about 5am and he would go back to slep, then toddler would get up so i could do breakfast before baby woke again. Then after feed, all got dressed, then baby naps. Lunch time would be baby feed, then toddler lunch then put both to bed for nap, so i could go too.

Its sad but you have to put the toddler in front of the tv a bit. I used to shut us in the living room, and keep changing stuff etc downstairs.

On a plus side, it does get easier, once baby sleeps through the night and feeds quicker, its fine.

I would just try to make sure toddler sleeps in the day, and structure feeds so baby sleeps at the same time so you can sleep.

My 2 are 2 and nearly 4 and its fab!!! This morning, the older one heard the we one waking and went through and put on his dressing gown and slippers and they both went downstairs. He put the tv on and i was still in bed!!!! Now they are playing together in the playoom. Its so worth it

Gemm x
24+3

thanks babs! There I was worrying about no 2 and and you have no 4 on the way! Supermummy or what.. thanks for the tips.. Im normally quite chilled and think I will be when its all happening - its the thought of it that worries me!
x

Dont get me wrong, its bloomin tough trying to keep a level head. There are days when you wonder what the hell has gone wrong BUT to try and stay positive and just take 5 mins if you get a bit overwhelmed is the best thing to do really.
I am def no supermummy lol!
Even my three get a tv hour once a week just to give me a bit of time!
I also think that if I didnt have the girls on large familys listening to my waffling, ranting and moaning I would have gone crazy by now lol!

I dont have any help, family only "visit" no one has my kids but me or OH, which is unfortunate in some ways and bloody tough alot of the time BUT I wouldnt have it any other way.( other than school/playgroup)

I do like to think us mums can do anything if we just get on with it and get through each day, I am a strong believer in the phrase "slow and steady wins the race" ( from the story the hare and tortoise) I do have a mad hour sometimes where I try and get everything done, but it never ends up working out like it and I wish I hadnt bothered lol!
With no'4 I def intend to just stick to my routine BUT take time if I need it.
The washing up can wait half hour if I am busy, what they hell and all that lol! my house isnt dirty, its rather clean compaired to some but when you have kids just expect things to take a little longer sometimes lol!

thanks for all the replys!!

babs3- great tip on taking notepad and crayon whilst out doing food shop! jayden hates it so much and trys to get out and screams his heart out lol
yeh i think a routine will work best for us. just hoping that they will both have a day nap at the same time LOL x x x xthanks xx

This is my perfect question so glad someone asked it!!!

my lo is 2 6th dec and baby die 20th November so basically 2 year age gap.... part of me thinks it is actually a nice age gap and that my little boy hopefully won't get to jealous - i know they all have tantrums and play up but he'll do that whatever as its his age...
i just cannot imagine having another baby in the home and juggerling a baby with Finlay - its going to be soooooooooo strange!
i am worried about the whole night time thing as Finlay didn't sleep through till basically not so long ago and even now i get up to re-plug dummy if he's lost it or kicked duvet off etc./..(only just gone in bed but loves it thank god) he is an early waker aswell so i'm thinking by the time a night feed has been done with baby he'll be getting me up i'll be like a zombie... also baby is having to share our room as cannot afford our extention we wanted so think thats not going to help!

xx

mine are 2 and 8 months and my day is up at 5 with them BOTH, give my youngest milk and put the tv on about 6 they watch cbeebies, 8ish we al get dressed, then its breakfasts, potter about with the housework, usualy take them to one of their grandparents houses, or a toddler group, then bak home play bit daddy comes home, then bath bout 6ish and both in bed by 7.

My two boys are 22 months and 22weeks, so my eldest was 17 months when my second lo arrived. I was worried like you (even though it was planned) as it is daunting thinking about having two los to look after. I live abroad so no family here to support us but I was lucky that my mum came out for the first two weeks after Jacob was born to look after my toddler and make sure I stayed sane lol!

I must say though it really isn't too bad, I think I have been lucky in that Jacob is a very laid back baby and hasn't had colic or anything. Although he is 22 weeks old and not sleeping through the night yet so that is pretty tiring. My toddler wakes up when hubby gets up for work which is about 6:30am but usually sleeps longer on a weekend until about 8am which is fab.

My 22 month old goes to nursery two days a week which gives me chance to get the house cleaned properly,do some baking, and have some one to one time with my youngest.

I def recommend having a basket with nappy changing stuff in the living room so you don't have to leave your toddler to change the baby. I have a vibrating bouncer and a baby swing that are great for me to put the baby in when I need to sort out my toddler. I also take the baby into the kitchen with me in his bouncy chair when I cook tea or wash bottles or something. That way I can make sure my toddler isn't giving him too many enthusiastic hugs lol!
At night time I bath them together at about 7pm and then they are in bed by 8pm. My toddler sleeps through which is great but the baby wakes at about 10pm for a bottle, then at about 2am and then 6am for bottles or just dummy replug!

I get up and showered before hubby goes to work so I don't end up in my pjs all morning. Plus I usually need a nice hot shower to wake me up!

You'll be fine so don't worry. It is just a case of getting into a routine. Thankfully at this age toddlers still have a good nap, mine has about an hour and a half sleep after lunch which gives me some catch up time.

Star11 - Jacob is still in with us as he will have to share with Bren until we get our basement renovated. As he is still waking so often I daren't put him in with Bren yet! xx

everyone amde it out that it would be ded hard but its so not. i do get help from family but newborns sleep alot so at first its fine and as the newborn gets older they are awake more but it weans you into having 2 its good
honest you will be fine :) i love my boys more than anything x

My dd is now 5 weeks and my ds is 20 months and I can honestly say so far it hasn't been as difficult as I imagined! To be honest my dd is laid back, and you hardly know she's here. Our routine hasn't changed that much, if anything I just have to be far more organised, things do take longer to do, and I have to juggle things round her feeds but generally its all good! My son is fantastic with her and just wants to help and kisses and cuddles all the time. The only thing I've found is I'm just far more tierd, thankfully my hubby is very hands on, so at least I know at the weekend he'll let me have a little lie in, if only an extra 30 mins to recharge the batteries x

[Modified by: Downesy on November 06, 2009 11:41 PM]