Thank you so much for all your kind words.
I had my baby girl 12/9/9 and we named her Angel as you know at the time they couldn't confirm she was a girl and then when they did it didn't feel right to change it.
She was beautiful and I really didn't want to let her go, we had time alone, took photos and were given hand/foot prints. I'd taken a blanket for her which we've kept in a box. She was buried 30/9/9 and we are still waiting to hear what went wrong. I'm also struggling with what to write on her tombstone.
I am petrified about what the reason could be and am blaming myself for a million different reasons in case 'that's why!' I'm also worried as she was my second, I have a little boy who was born 'special needs' undiagnosed but visually impaired and delayed, what if it's genetic and was just too big a problem in Angel or I am rhesus negative and son was positive so what if my blood killed her and how can I risk it again.
I want to be pregnant again, and I'm so scared.
I miss Angel so much and it's so hard because I know some of my heartache is based on dreams of our future together and what we will miss! My friends are all having babies and I know they don't have my baby but I can't bear hearing about them! I had my second child and she will always be remembered, I'm thinking to get a heart necklace with her name and d.o.b to wear close to my heart as I want something for her and a little scared of tattoos!

I'm rambling but I just wanted to thank you all for your support and tell you where I am. I hope that you are all doing as well as you can do and that each day is getting easier than the last! Take care x

Oh hun, I am so sorry you are going through this. I really hope you get some answers soon as to why your gorgeous little girl had to leave you. Please don't blame yourself, I am certain it is nothing that you did that caused this. Nature can just be very cruel sometimes and extremely difficult to understand.

The necklace idea sounds wonderful, and it is something you can show to Zachariah when he is older and explain to him that he has a very special Angel looking down on him.

Just take one day at a time, and I really hope you get the results back asap that help give you some peace.

Thinking of you and your family. Bigs hugs coming your way xxxx

I really hope your questions are answered and that you find peace like Angel has.

Hope your little family is helping you through day by day!

THINKING OF YOU ALL X

Thank you both of you.... I am STILL waiting to hear what went wrong and it's just driving me crazy, I just don't understand and wish someone would talk to me about it! I still feel pregnant which doesn't help, although milks dried up I just have that 'pregnant' feel in my tummy which is so damn unfair and emotionally draining. I'm trying to move forward but feel stuck in limbo without answers or even knowing whether we can even think about ttc again!
I will get on the other forum at some point I just know nearly everyone on there is pregnant ATM and don't really want to remind myself or put fear in others ........I hope everyone is doing well though x

Well I've pestered the consultant ALL of last week and been able to at least find out it wasn't that I was rhesus sensitised- thank God! I was so scared that not only had I lost Angel through that but I'd have lost all future children too!!!!!! Still in need of answers though but I won't get them for another 2+ weeks!

Big hugs, I'm so so sorry you've been through all of this. Glad to hear you weren't rhesus sensatised though. I really hope you get your answers soon

totally understand why you aren't on our forum, I'm sure everyone understands

Thinking of both of you, Zachariah and of course your beautiful Angel

xxx

Huge hugs and I really hope you get ur answers soon.

I think the heart necklace sounds like a beautiful idea.

Lots of love to you and ur family xxx

You poor thing still having to wait to find out what happened. I can't understand why it is taking them so long to tell you when it is so important for you.
I totally understand why you haven't been about lately, we are all here for you though when you feel ready to pop back on.

I really hope you get some answers soon that help you to move forward with your grieving.

Thinking of you, big hugs xxxx

Thanks all. I've been told by consultant they have to wait so long because results take that long to get back BUT my gp said they've found it tajes 6weeks for people to be more emotinally ready for the results! Crazy because part of my reason for not feeling great is that I keep going over and over reasons for why the hell this happened and beating
myself up about it!