My little man got his angel wings on 01/10/09. He was with us for 20 weeks.

Gosh I don't know where to start but some of you may be aware of me from the my baby was born in june 09.

This is my story... http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=146399689388

How do you go on? How can I face getting up in the morn again? I miss him more than words can say.

OH and I have been talking tonight about TTC again. Not ever to replace him but to give us something to aim for, a reason for living but we're scared to do it too soon, we're scared of what people will say. But they don't have to live with this big gaping hole in their lives. We used to be a family and now we're just a couple.

I miss the damn monitor and its beeping that reassuringly told us he was still there but when your struggling to sleep and it was invading your thoughts you could have thrown it out the window.

I hate going to sleep because it means another day waking up without him, another day that I have had to wake up again.

I am so sorry, i lost my baby girl in the womb and know it can only be harder for you having your son there even longer to be gone. I have one little boy already and I can honestly say if it wasn't for him I wouldn't even get up in the morning but you have to. I don't know how we move on but I do think if you want more children you shouldn't care about what others think only how you and oh feel. I am desperate fir laughter of children to run through my house and just because my little girl was taken too soon doesn't mean I still don't yearn for more. It's not replacement but I know emotionally i don't think oh or me could cope right now and I am still waiting to hear why it happened and whether it would happen again.
I am so so sorry and hope you find a way through this, I am hoping this forum will help us too. Take care x

Hi dippymummy,

So sorry to hear about the loss of your wee man. He is absolutely gorgeous. Your are so brave to be posting so soon after. I'm not really sure how you go on or what makes you go on. I guess you just have too. We lost our daughter in February at 38 weeks. I suffered a placental abruption and she was born by em c sec, but she was just to far gone and passed away 19 hours later. The ONLY thing that has kept ne going is hope for the future, we have been trying for a baby for 4 (well this will be our5th month) now.

People always have something to say, people told us we were mad for trying again so soon, like it was asif we were trying to replace Darcey well no were not we just crave a baby so much and want to be parents. We know Darcey has gone and a wee brother or sister won't take the pain of losing her away it will just help us move on, give us something to focus on. You are the one that has to live your life not anybody else... You do what you want and if people don't like it well that's their problem.

Just take a day at a time, don't let people influence your decisions. Things will get better again for you, they will. It's just going to take time. Xx

Hi Donna,
I'm sorry for your loss! I saw Gemma's comment on facebook & my heart went out to you!! I lost my babies 9 weeks ago. Me & my hubby started talking about 'next time' before we even got out of the hospital. I understand this hole in your life & the need to try & fill it some how, any how. I think that must be natural to feel like that. I'm going to give my body 2-3 periods & then start trying again. If it helps at all, its only been 9 weeks for me but every day gets a little bit easier. The pains still there but I suppose you just start to cope a little more each day.
Stay strong, we are all here for you Julie xxxx

Hi Julie,

Hubby said that to me when we got home the day he died, whenever we're ready.

We have done it twice since he died with no protection. Based on a 28 day cycle we missed ovulation but I was a week late last month so if I am a week late this month we might catch.

AF was due today so wait n see. Not getting my hopes up.

I think I have this brave, tough exterior on but underneath every fibre of me is hysterically crying, aching for him, missing him so much its hard to breathe.

Hubby goes back to work next week then I am alone with my emotions.

xxxxxxxx