I wrote on this a couple of months ago about wether or not to have a termination

i know so many people on here have trouble concieving or loose there babys so i
feel realy guilty sending this post

A quick recap Im 19 and have a 2 and a half year old son and a 1 year old daughter,
and in May i found out i was pregnant i though i was about 3-4 weeks gone,
it took the doctors a month to get me an appointment at the clinic where at the time i
though i was about 7-8 weeks pregnant wheni got my scan but found out i was 11+2weeks and i had to go back a week later to have the termination.
So i was 12+2weeks when it was done, after i inserted the tablets i regreted it straight away but it was to late, they were already sofening my cervix, and on the operation table i bawled my eyes out till i pased out.

Its only ment to be a 15-20 op and then your awake but i was asleep for over an hour, and they wouldnt tell me if something went rong or what, all they said was it didnt go to plan.

Im destroyed now, i still feel pregnant, i still hope i am even though i no im not! how stupid is that.

For a week after, pregnancy tests still said i was pregnant, and its not ment to, i still had heartburn etc and i never get it unless im pregnant.

I cry most of the time, and have no one to go to. Every time i see a new born baby i just cry my eyes out
but the worst pat is maybe 4-5 girls i know are going to be have babys maybe a week for when i would have been due, it takes me now to talk to them i dont know what im going to be like when it comes to there babys actualy going to be here

sorry if i upset any1 but i wasnt with the 'babys' dad at the time but i knew if i told him he would come back to me and i couldnt make him do that jus because of the fact i was pregnant

oh hun, huge hugs. I have no experience or advice to give, but I didn't want to read and run. You have been through such a rough period, and I can only imagine how worried and alone you must feel to be going through this. Do you have any friends you feel you could talk to, and more importantly have you gone back and spoken to your doctor? Please don't beat yourself up, but do take care of you. I would think your gp should be able to refer you on to a gynacologist if you are having trouble in that area, and should certainly help you to see a counsellor. I wish I had anything constructive or worthwhile to say, I hope I haven't upset you more with anything I have said. But please take care of you, I am not sure how I would cope with all you've gone through, but I know I wouldn't do half as well as you are doing.

xx

oh babes,

I just wanna cry after reading your story. I wish I could give you a hug. I don't know what to say. I've been in a similar situation where I fell pregnant, my partner wasn't happy but I knew he woulda stuck by me, but I would have never known if he wanted to be with me or if he felt forced to and I didn't wanna do that to him. I regretted it and there were a lot of friends having baby's when we would have been due so I understand from that point of view.

I agree with Hedgie, I think you need to see a counsellor to help you cope, what happened sounds horrific. I don't really know what else to say. They should never have told you that it didn't go to plan and then not tell you why. That's terrible.

I hope I haven't upset you. Don't beat yourself up about it. xx

lisa, i firstly want to say how brave i think you are!

i too am only 19, i have two kids, a wee boy at 19months and a new baby girl of 7 weeks.
it's bloody hard work! and i had a pregnancy scare too last week! i was terrified because i knew i wouldnt have been able to cope.

although i have the support of my partner, i still struggle sometimes. but i think u are so unbelieveably brave. u did what u thought was right for u and your babies. i am so sorry things didnt go to plan. it must be so hard for u, but just know that there are alot of women on here who will take time to read and listen to u!!!

we will all be here for you, but as the girls above said, i too think you should see a councellor, they will be able to offer you much more professional help and advice, we can only be there for u and offer personal opinions.
i also think you should see your gp incase you are still pregnant. even if you arent, the fact that it didnt go to plan, you might still want to get things checked out to put your mind at rest.

im so sorry darling. i dont know what you are going through, but i know it must be hard. try and keep your chin up! we are all here for u.

k x