Hi all I'm new to the site, but i have to talk to someone!
I had a mmc in january this year and since then cycle has been erratic. Anyway just found out by chance that i am pregnant again and i am scared to death.
My ante-natal has 'estimated' when they think i might have conceived and have booked a scan for the middle of november but essentially no-one knows how far along i might be.
I'm worried sick and i don't think i can wait that long to find out if i have mc again - i'm very close to tears all the time and can't sleep properly which I suppose is not doing me or the pregnancy any good.
I rung ante-natal and they advised me to ring y GP in the middle of Oct and tell them i am having pains and they will refer me to the EPU for a scan - but i can't risk tempting fate by lying, i would be my fault then.
Do you thik my GP will understand if i tell them how i'm feeling and refer me anyway?

All advice welcomed - i hate the thought of every pregnancy feeling like this.
Distressedxxxxxx

[Modified by: frisb on 01 November 2009 17:28:12 ]

Hi Frisb,
Sorry to hear you're having a rough time of it! It must be so difficult not knowing where you are with dates etc!
I would get an appointment to see your GP and explain everything and how concerned you are - explain that you're stressed and not sleeping and I'm sure they will be sympathetic and sort you out a scan. Alternatively there are private scan places (babybond etc) - if you have no luck with your GP might it be possible to go to one of those to give you a better idea about dates etc?
I hope you get it sorted whatever you do. Let us know how you get on.
Bex x

Hey there,

I just posted last night about being anxious so I totally understand.

Congratulations about becoming pregnant again - brilliant news. I'm really shocked that antenatal suggested that - I totally agree with you, I would feel like it was tempting fate. As to whether or not you will get an early scan, it totally depends on the policy of your PCT - I am in Trafford, Manchester and mine have been brill and I have had several early scans, one requested for my GP (LONG story!) but the others just as reassurance.

Speak to your GP, if they refuse you could speak to the EPU/EPAU directly and you may get a sympathetic midwife.

Really hope that you get a scan sorted hun, they do help to reassure,

Kristen xx
13+4

Thanks for the replies - it really helps to actually voice what is going through your head because it feels like you can't tell anyone at all - and husbands are too positive for their own good! I'm feeling a bit better today now i have a plan of action - GP, then private scan i think.

I was starting to think that i was unreasonable trying to get an early scan but i have the added problem of having a holiday booked for the week after my 12 week scan is due which will be lovely - if (big IF) everything is ok. If not its going to be awful - i explained this to ante-natal and their reply was 'well we like to get people to wait a couple of weeks after a mc is diagnosed anyway', what kind of answer is that! so i get to go on holiday knowing i've had a mc and just waiting, albeit on a sunbed, for the mc to happen in a foreign country - thanks for all the support arrowe park ante-natal - but i think i would rather find out i little earlier!

I seem to have the most unsympathetic ante-natal dept in the country!

Wishing everone the best of luck xxxxx

i would try and talk to your local epu directy, most of them will let you self refer, and they are there to help support in early pg, esp after mc., Not just for when things go wrong. They can organise early scans and monitor hcg levels ect.
Give them a call before you drive yourself mad with worry
Hope you get something sorted
Love Koala X X

Frisbe - how far along do you think you are - I think its a great idea to talk directly to the EPU and if you think you are over 7 weeks then ask for a reassurance scan - other option is private - think you can get them for about £90 from 7 weeks onwards. I had M/c 2 weeks ago and the mid wife told me that when I do conceive again then contact them directly for a reassurance scan! Let us know how you get on!

Hi Frisb,

congratulations, like the others have said some health trusts you could be entitled to an early scan on the NHS in the EPU, I have looked into private scans all of which were coming in at £100 I have heard baby bond scans are quite good, if you are looking into private scans, hope all goes well love Luc xxx

Hi all,
thanks so much for your replies - blurting it all on here helps put everything into perspective.
I've been trying my best to keep myself busy since and managed to successfully take my mind of it for a couple of weeks but my worries came back with avengence this morning.
I have been doing a hpt once a week which have all been strongly positive but i think my worries stem from the fact that i don't know how far along i am (my BFP was 4.5 weeks ago now). I also don't seem to have many symptoms today......
I phoned my EPU this morning and they only accept referrals from a GP - so i phoned GP and i'm ashamed to say all the worries woooshed out on the phone to the receptionist! I burst into tears on the poor woman and stamered and sobbed my way through the whole conversation! (feel a bit of an idiot now i have calmed down). Anyway thankfully she gave me an appointment with a GP tomorrow so we might be getting somewhere.
Sorry for having a little moan - especially when some of you lovely ladies have had to contend with bleeding and pain, when i've had neither - but then i didn't with previous mmc either.
Trying to keep my pma way up but its difficult when i'm in work and my mind drifts. Fingers crossed i might have a scan of some sort by the end of the week and have some more details one way or another......Thanks for listening xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hello Frisb,
I just wanted to say all your thoughts and emotions are completely normal. I had a MMC in July and am now nearly 9 weeks pregnant again. Luckily my area have been great and have so far had 2 early scans. The 2nd was an emergency scan as all of my symptoms disappeared except veiny boobs, so my Midwife referred me to EPU to be on the safe side and luckily our "Tinker" is measuring a day ahead! We're being rescanned on the 30th at 10+3 and then will have the 12 week one.

I hope your GP can refer you, unfortunately it seems to be a postcode lottery. Your reduced symptoms could just be your body getting used to the pregnancy hormones, that what it was for me although I was terrified so completely understand your worries.

I've got everything crossed for you. Keep us updated love Gecko 8+5 or 6 x

Thanks sooooo much Gecko.
I've kind of gathered myself together a bit and given my OH a ring, who is very of the opinion 'sod work and look after yourself!' - so he put a bit of perspective on things.
It really helps to get my pma back when i hear from people like you who are having the the same fears and lack of symptoms etc.
I guess i just go into a blind panic sometimes and becasue my ante-natal seem to have washed their hands of me until 12 weeks i feel a bit abandoned and left to deal with it all on my own.
The GP receptionist said she would make a note of everything i told her to pass on to the doc so hopefully my shameful mini breakdown won't have been for nothing (she says -sitting in work with eyes like a panda after a particularly heavy night and hopeing no one notices!).
Everything crossed for a sympathetic GP or i'm booking myself a private scan tomorrow afternoon.
See told you i was feeling more decisive!
PMA back and very strong thanks to Gecko!!!!
I'll keep you posted...............xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Dramatics = Strong Pregnancy Hormones!!!

I burst into tears with the Midwife on my 1st meeting and carried on sobbing for hours afterwards. All hubby could say to me was calm down dear (he loves the esure ad, grr) your obviously preggers as your hormones are crazy!

Any chance you could pay for a private scan for some reassurance?

Glad my post has been of some help. These forums are fantastic for support so stick around!

Hugs Love Gecko x

hey there

My advice would be to carry on bursting into tears whenever you are near a health professional. The day before my dating scan (when I discovered I had mmc) I rang NHS Direct because I felt weird and had slight cramps. The woman on the phone took my details and then said a midwife would ring me back......................in an hour. So that made me burst into tears because I couldn't wait another minute let alone another hour, so the lady put me straight through to the midwife.

So when you see the doctor, have an onion in your pocket just incase and don't wear waterproof mascara. If you feel the tears well up, don't stop them - the doctor has got to understand how upsetting and stressful this is for you, so if the only way to do that is to cry, then cry loads!!!!!!

Good luck xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Well girlies - update as promised!
I went to GP yesterday - didn't have to try with the crying thing the blubbing started as soon as she said 'so...what seems to be the problem....'!
After nearly 20 minutes of' i completely understand', (no she doesn't), and 'i don't really know what you want me to do's', (thats why i'm here asking you for advice!!!) i left still scanless.
She point blank refused to refer me to the EPU as i have had no pain or bleeding, (same as before mmc) and tried to reassure me that a number of positive tests is s good sign (same as before mmc) and that in some women a lack of symptoms is perfectly normal. All of this i know already - she even tried the 'just because it happened once doesn't mean its any more likely to happen again thing' (i know that as well) and maybe i would like to make some further appointments to talk it through with her!! (now she thinks i'm depressed and irrational).
Her basis for no early scan was if i'm not as far on as the ante-natal clinic have guessed i am then i will be devastated if there is nothing there??!!!! to which i replied - not half as devastated as getting to a 12 weeks scan and finding out that bean has stopped growing at 8 weeks again and i could have found out sooner!

Oh well - feeling angry yet still quite positive this morning so i'm going to book a private scan i think.
thanks listening to the ranting - good luck everyone xxxxxxxxx

UPDATE: private scan now booked for Nov 1st 6 years to the day after me and OH got together so i'm taking that as a good omen!

[Modified by: frisb on October 21, 2009 01:01 PM]

Hi Frisb

Just wanted to say your not alone! I too had a MMC then 1 AF and I am now pregnant again, was also promised Id get a closer plan of care due to mmc, (INCL EARLY SCANS) which just hasnt happened, I went to the docs to get the EPU referral but similar to your experience I was refused a scan on the basis that I was not at risk...and I was also emotional and the doc thinks Im depressed and thinks I have problems at home! It made me angry and OH!! I did look into getting a private scan, but as Ive been waiting to see midwife thought she might help but has to be a gp referral and she booked my dating scan over the phone so Ive now just got to wait 2 weeks which doesnt seem too bad..just going to try to keep busy, sounds like a fab date for you, really hope everything is ok Love Luc xxx

Hi Ladies,
Just thought i would update with my good news before the worry starts to kick in again. I have just got back from my private scan and everything was looking fine - heartbeat was strong and the sonographer dated little bean at 10+3 which is better than i dared hope for - i'm so excited!!
I only have to wait till a week on friday now till my booking scan to fingers crossed........(come on sticky little bean!!)
Does anyone know what the chance of MC is after a hb at 10 weeks?
I know i will start to worry again pretty soon - but for the moment i feel great, its the best £70 i've ever spent!
Thanks for all your support so far - you've all been brilliant
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I was told by EPU on Friday that the chance of going to delivery at 10 weeks with a healthy hb is 98% so great odds!

Love Gecko 10+4 x