I have been with my hubby for 8 and a half years, married for 3 years and have 2 beautiful daughters aged 2 and 1 so what's my problem?

A few years before we married my hubby slept with someone behind my back but we got through it and in many ways made us stronger. I was ok after the birth of my first daughter but now a year after my second was born I feel so alone. I thought it was because we were stuck in a small flat ad that I couldn't return to work as a childminder, so I did everything I could to get out of that rut, got a job at weekends so I could still be a full time mum like I wanted and done everything I could to get a move and a month or two in my new house and I still feel so alone! I can sleep all night and still feel rough in the morning, my girls only have to cry for 5 mins and I'm tearing my hair out, This wasn't quite how I imagined. I feel ugly all th time and keep bringing up the "other woman" even though it's been 5 years without a word. The one thing I thought i was great at I now feel so crap at. My hubby thinks I'm going off him, then I worry he might go elsewhere, I'm too tired to do anything with my girls and the more I cry the more tired I feel. I've also started hitting myself, like biting my arm or slapping myself just to see if I can snap myself out of it. The thing is now my daughter has started hitting herself when she gets angry. I know I should feel really happy and when I'm out and about I'm fine it's just when I'm indoors I feel like the walls are closing in. I just don't know what to do?

hi hunni, sorry to hear that you are feeling like this, sounds like you have pnd, I know your hubby had a affair but that was the past and now you have two beautiful girls together, I understand how you feel about being stuck at home, maybe try toddler groups that will help your girls as well as you hun, that the fact you feel ugly is your pnd and no interest in making love. your hubby loves you thats why you have two beautiful children, tell him how you feel and ask him to give you time, I know it hard to stop hurting yourself cos it feels like a huge relief when you do it but hunni try something else, if your daughters are safe and happy go in the kitchen or upstairs and screamed into pillow are something. make a appointment with your doctor hun, update us soon xx