Hi i'm pregnant with my 4th baby and due April 2010. I have booked a home birth as all my other labours have been fine, i was really happy when my husband agreed but now after the look on peoples faces when we tell them i am having second thoughts. Has anyone else had the same reaction?

yes and ignore them
I had hb with no2 and it was best thing ever. It's a personal choice and to me hospitals are :O

Oh Yes!!

Everyone who has never had a homebirth thinks you must have gone Mad!
But everyone who has had a homebirth will tell you how Great it was!! lol

Homebirths really are the best! If it is what you want go for it and take no notice of other people!
If you are upset by their reactions don't tell them. It is after all none of their busness! your body, your baby, your choice! I just like shocking people! lol ;-)
xx

Like Michelle says, people just think you are mad! But I think they are mad for opting for all the unnecessary medical intervention! Hmmm... bright lights, stark white walls, lots of commotion, increased risk of medical intervention vs a calm environment that you are familiar with, no stressful trip to the hospital, having your partner be more involved if you want that, and being able to cuddle up in bed as a family immediately afterwards? Geez... touch choice!!

We stopped telling people of our plans for a home birth as 90% of the reactions were negative ones. It's because they just don't know themselves, or have their own fears or insecurities. They aren't yours, so stick to your guns if it is what you want and only discuss it with people you know are supportive of your choice. They do exist, you just need to look harder to find those people but then they start coming out of the wood work and their stories are amazing (like in this forum section). I also avoid reading anyone else's trauma birth stories, and only focus on the positive talk.

xx

Thanks. I really want a home birth and the more i think about it the more positive i feel. And yes the thought of getting into my own bed after sounds lovely
xx

I chose homebirth because we moved a long way while I was pregnant (we'd been planning it a long time and as we had a bigger house to go to decided to ttc!) and our daughter was 8. The thought of leaving her with someone she barely knew to go into hospital to give birth just made me cry! She was old enough to know what was going on and I didn't want her to feel left out like that. As it was she got up in the morning in a panic cos she was late for school! Bless her - we'd left her to sleep in when we were sure I was in labour! So she was very involved, the mw showed her how to properly rub my back - really getting her knuckles in! DH was too gentle and I often growled at him to **** off and get me Bethany! She had said all along she didn't want to be there for the actual birth but as it was she stayed and even cut the cord. It brings a lump to my throat thinking about it! My birth plan stated that she should be allowed to come and go as she pleased and be allowed to cut the cord should she want to and the mw was really good with her.

It does depend on your area and your mw but my only blip was when they thought baby was breech and they wouldn't let me try to deliver at home. Luckily they were wrong!

You go for what you wwant chick - you can always change your mind. With no1 I was adamant I would have a water birth but once in labour it was the last thing I wanted.

You will be absolutely fine dear. I would even think about it but knowing my luck i will give birth to a whale next. Sara x:lol:

LOL and why can't you have a whale at home then???

It's the only option for me. As much as lots of people look at you like you're mad (and give a sympathetic look towards the husband as if to say you poor man) I feel the same way about the people who would only consider a hospital birth with full epidural etc or preferably a c-section, they must be mad!

We had our first at home and I'm aiming for the same again. We had a pool in the living room and I watched the birds in the garden inbetween contractions. Once he was born and I was being stitched on the armchair I could watch my husband cuddling skin to skin inside his dressing gown and introducing our son to the birds and the world of our home. Midwife turned down my side of the bed and left us to it. Half a glass of champagne and then all three of us cuddled up in bed... Vs maternity ward noise and other people's visitors, a hospital bed and a plastic tank for my baby... they must be mad!

Stick to your guns and do what you want for you and your baby, I found people were rather jealous when it came down to it, mainly they were just too scared to do it themselves.

Im expecting our first in Feb and everyone thinks im crazy when i tell them that we're having a homebirth.

Another thing I would say is carefully select your mw - if you have an option. I found the birth centre at our chosen hospital were very open to home birthing and the natural approach but unfortunately we live on a border (the wrong side!!) so they won't come to us. The other hospital is awful and in an emergency I don't want to end up there. So we booked independent. Anyway, we went to a breastfeeding class yesterday run by a mw at our chosen hospital (presumably from the labour ward) and she was so rude. In introducing ourselves around the group I mentioned we were planning a water birth at home and her response was "Oh, good luck with that". It's one thing for family, friends, colleagues, strangers etc to have their opinion but it is disgusting that a mw can express that like she did. Well... not all of them will agree with your choice either, so my point is choose carefully so that you get someone (or choose a birth centre or hospital) who supports you 100% and makes you feel comfortable in the wonderful choice you have made. You don't want them making you question yourself because of their own values or belief that the medical intervention route at the hospital is the only way to go.

xx

How do you book an independent mw? Does it cost a lot?

I am really lucky that my mw is lovely. She is a big supporter of home birth !!
She even helped me convince my husband that is safe and he is really happy about it now. Which i never thought he would be he was really against it with my last one. there are a team of mw in my area who al work together so even if my mw isn't on call i will know the mw who comes in. But Jane has said she puts herself on call more when it's close to one of her ladies being due. So listening to your story makes me realise how lucky we are xx

We did a hypnobirthing course and our instructor recommended our independent mw to us because not only does she do homebirths but also supports hypno. She came around one evening with another mw and we knew straight away that we wanted them. Perfect match. Ours are costing us £4k - I have heard that some cost up to £6k. So I thought this cost was not too bad. My only regret is not taking them on sooner (we were 28wks when we started with them) as the cost is the same from 12wks. They come round to our house every 2 weeks, then as of next week when Im 35wks they come every week. They are oncall 24hrs a day if I need them. When I go into labour one will arrive and when Im looking ready to go the other will come - or both will turn up if it looks like things will happen quickly. After the birth they see us for 6 weeks.
I still go to the hospital for my mw appointments there but TBH, only so that I get my bloods done. Ive just had my last bloods taken at 33 wks. If we end up at the hospital then I can take one of my mw's in as a birth companion (Im only allowed 2 people, my husband included) so she would act as a doula in that situation as she is not legally covered in the hospital to deliver our baby as a mw. But hopefully it won't end up that way.
It is a cost but one that we are so pleased we have forked out for as we just werent getting what we wanted before. But if you are lucky enough to get to know a team of mws that support you then there is no reason not to go with them when they are free!
If you are interested though you should be able to find one here: http://www.independentmidwives.org.uk/
Im in London so if you happen to be as well I can definately recommend mine if you are interested.

xx