Hi Ladies,

I don't even know if I am posting this in the right place and really want to start off by saying that I know what happened to me in relation to what happened to so many of you brave ladies, well...it doesn't seem much. I am grateful that I only knew I was pg for 2 days and it has made me realise (or should I say confirmed to me) how devestating miscarriage is and I am thankful I didn't know I was pg for longer. I feel partly ashamed for posting here because a a few people have mentioned to me that it helps to refer to what happened as 'chemical pregnancy' and not miscarriage...so tha'ts what I have been doing and I know that's what it was.

I got a BFP over a month ago- in fact I got 2. Two days later I took a CBD which came up with not pg. I had some confusing test results afterwards and finally went to the doctors who told me they thought I was still pg- just very early on. He did a blood test which was negative. Obviously I knew then it was over...but I didn't start bleeding for about 12 days afterwards, so I kind of lived in limbo- perhaps I had got dates wrong etc etc.

After it happened I was upset obviously but I just got on with things...afterall I had only known for two days. Now, suddenly I feel extemely saddened by the whole thing, In those two days dh and I did a lot of planning- talked about when we were going to book an early scan and about completing our family. I occured to my yesterday I would have been 8 weeks over the weekend-when we had planned the scan for.

Also, we are not trying again for a while. I am lucky enough to already have two beautiful children and I suffered greatly with PND after my dd was born. I feel i'd like to be in good shape before we embark on another pg and I need to work more on the depression and anxeity that PND left me with. I have also recently lost my job so we don;t know where we are going to be finicially for a while. For these reasons we are waiting, and I know thats the sensible thing to do. However, I almost feel I am grieving TTC as well as the pregnancy.

I just wanted to get all this out really and once again I am sorry if I have offended anyone for writing on here. I just feel so weird about everything and I wasn't expecting it.

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BE ate my reply aaargh!!

CC I'm so sorry for your loss, please don't think for one more second that you'll offend anyone by posting here your loss is just as real.

I suffered a chemical pregnancy in June and was devestated, I did fall pregnant 2 cycles later but unfortunately that ended at 6+4 and though I was more affected the 2nd time arounf I feel that its more to do with the fact that it happened again than that I was further along than the 1st time.

I hope you feel happier soon, I have found the girls here so supportive so feel free to post whenever you're feeling a bit blue xx

Hi CC,

As Dm says please dont feel guilty about posting here you have suffered a loss no matter how far along you were hun.

Greif is a strange thing & it can affect us all differently & at different times sometimes when we least expect it.

I have also suffered a chem pg in between 2 mmc but form the min you get that +ve hpt you start planning & become a new mum all over again wether you already have children or not.

Please do come on here for support when you need to it does help to talk your feelings over with people who understand.

sending you lots of hugs hun xxx