hi ladies
its very over due but here is a condensed version of the birth of our daughter Grace on 6th Aug written by my hubby.
my version is 6 pages long and i'm only half way through and we were asked to talk at a homebirth group and hubby couldn't make it so he wrote this for me to read
thought it sums everything up beautifully and so did the guys there
i will add he's your 'no messing, no fuss, no faff' kinda guy and he really had to be convinced re home birth!!
should also add that labour started at 934pm ish and grace was born at 421am so quite quick but had been in slow labour for a week or so!! i got through contractions by naming as many choc bars as i could, delighted when i could remember another (nothing like the riding the crest of a wave your supposed to do lol)
i electricuted paul with the tens machine and my waters exploded dramatically on our sofa!
it wasn't anywhere near as bad as i thought and i had just two paracetamol, quick bath, tens machine to get me to 6 cm, then gas and air from 7-8cm and then dropped it completely to push - that amazed me!!
here goes:
HOME BIRTH!!!!!!
I will start by saying that as soon as Jane told me she wanted a home birth I was completely against the whole idea.
My initial worries and feelings were: Surely it would be safer in a hospital? After all the place is full of doctors, nurses surgeons etc. What if something went wrong? It would surely be safer to have all these professionals on hand to deal with any medical problems!
Please do not get me wrong I still believe that these are valid points and understand why people do chose to have a hospital birth for peace of mind. Therefore I would never criticise anybody for wanting this.
From early on Jane went about convincing me that a home birth would be safer as she would be more relaxed and thus the baby would be less likely to be in distress as she would not feed off any negative feelings Jane would be having by being in Hospital.
If you think logically it does make sense. Every time most of us go to a hospital or even just the GP we feel naturally tense. Most of the time we know that nothing serious is wrong with us but still the whole environment has an effect upon us: The smell, the noise, seeing people who are in plaster or screaming their heads off etc. This was our first baby and the most important moment of our lives so I am sure that all of the above would have been magnified to an even scarier level!
On the night in question we went to bed for an early night (not for the time honoured self induction method but because we were both tired) at 9.34pm I was woken up by Jane shoving me in the back and exclaiming ooooh! More than the noise I could see in her eyes that she knew this was the real thing. At this point Grace was eight days overdue and we had had one or two false alarms but there was no mistaking this for one of those times!
We both got out of bed and my first thought was to get dressed as I knew there would either be a midwife or an ambulance arriving shortly and did not want to be roaming around in just my boxer shorts when they did.
I then rang the hospital, the contractions were still some way apart and despite conflicting advice we had already received (NCT, midwife and delivery suite) we decided I should ring to give them an early warning in case they had to rearrange schedules etc.
I was nervous of getting a frosty reception from the hospital, thinking that I would be adding to their work load and expecting to hear a tut and imagine a flick of the eyes at the other end of the line. I am happy to say that it was quite the contrary. On speaking to the manager up there he was very calm and told me to run a bath and get Jane to take a couple of paracetamol. He then told me to ring back when the contractions were lasting 45 seconds to one minute and when she was having about three every ten minutes.
This was such good news for me as a man. Not only could I take on the difficult task on running a bath and fetching tablets but I was also able to take part in the traditional manly pursuits of timing things and making a list!!
It didn’t take Jane very long to speed up her contractions, which looking back was very good of her. I rang the hospital after about an hour and again was spoken to very nicely and calmly and informed that Chloe would be with us shortly, although when I asked ‘how long?’ the manager was non-committal. Totally understandable now but pretty annoying at the time especially as I had kept my list so diligently.
After this Jane’s contractions really began in earnest and about half twelve Chloe arrived at our door several bags of equipment in hand. I remember answering the door and how smiley and positive she looked, just before she shoved most of her bags at me to carry up the stairs. Again another manly thing to tick off the list ‘carrying stuff’ so I didn’t mind.
Once Chloe was in our front room and checked on Jane she asked me why the birthing pool hadn’t been filled. After stammering like a scorned schoolboy I began to attach the necessary hoses etc. She then examined Jane and I watched, after ten minutes or so Chloe told us that Jane was at six centimetres and the birth pool still wasn’t full!
I swept into action! That is to say I messed about with the liner and hoses, again Chloe having to help me. I suddenly realised that the pool wasn’t filling very quickly and decided to start filling a washing up bowl from the bath to supplement this.
This worked for about three minutes! Jane wanted to grab hold of me every time she had a contraction and this is not easy when you are holding a big bowl of water and trying to check the floating duck thermometer in the pool at the same time. I seemed to spend the next three hours with soaking wet feet as I remember.
By now Jane was in another dimension thanks to Gas and Air but contractions seemed to bring her back to reality fairly quickly if only temporarily. Chloe examined Jane again and as she sat down on one of the sofas Jane was lying on the other. This is when Jane’s waters broke. It really wasn’t how you see it on the TV and if Jane wants to tell you about it she can, however even Chloe said that it was ‘spectacular’. Jane finished the first canister and Chloe was having trouble setting up the second one. It also makes an horrendous noise when it is being set up. I have to admit I felt like snatching it off Chloe and doing it myself but after my amazing performance with the pool I decided to leave it to the expert.
The pain was obviously getting stronger. I did not need any medical gadgets to tell me I just had to look at the indentations in my right hand. Jane got in the Pool and writhed about so much so that I was glad I had passed my fifty metres breast stroke some years before.
Chloe then rang the hospital and asked for a second midwife and some more Gas and Air. I was really excited by this as I had been told they call for a second midwife when the birth is getting reasonably close. A few minutes later Kerry arrived and sat and read the notes Chloe had already been making.
After a total of about forty five minutes, yes that’s right just forty five minutes Jane decided that the birthing pool wasn’t for her after all!! My poor wet feet!
Jane was trying to force the energy and focus of the pain downwards rather than screaming it all away. She tried several positions to find comfort and it appeared for some time that Grace was going to be born on the toilet, not the most dignified way to enter the world but I don’t think any of us cared by now we just wanted to meet her.
We then went back in to the front room and again tried several different positions. Finally we settled on Jane sat on the floor, her back to the sofa sat in between my legs so I could hold her hands over her shoulders.
I knew now from the language the midwives were using to encourage Jane that the birth was imminent. I looked over to where our TV is (almost opposite, wasn’t watching football honestly) on the floor I saw lots of confusing medical stuff masks etc. I had a sudden rush of panic but managed to calm myself down by believing it was surely just procedure and nothing was wrong with either of them. I am pleased to say that I was right.
From day one I had always said that I did not want to be down the ‘business end’ and I suppose technically I wasn’t. However I saw Grace’s head pop out and said something inane like ‘that’s her head’. I don’t know what else I was expecting!!
It really wasn’t as gory or scary as I expected at all and would consider watching next time without trepidation.
A few moments later Grace was born it was the most amazing moment of my life and one that I will always remember. I felt such a strong feeling of love towards them both it was truly overwhelming. To mark this occasion I came up with ‘amazing’ I couldn’t say anything else.
One of the best bits about the birth was perhaps the immediate period afterwards. We were in our own home. I could go and make all the workers a cup of tea and help my wife and daughter into our own clean bed.
Still feels strange to write down daughter but I am now the proudest Dad in the world and feel so privileged that we were all able to be in our own bed straight after she was born for our first big family cuddle.
Would I be happy with a home birth again? Yes I would.
Tips:
Be prepared as you can
Do as you are told
