Hi everyone,

One thing that really goes round my mind when thinking about TTC is, how will we afford everything and HOW on EARTH do people afford to have more than one child in this day and age??

I have already looked into childcare and the local place is £50 per day!! Let alone the cost of cots etc.
I know everyone says 'you can never afford a baby' but what did you guys do?

Did you save in advance, or save like crazy after your BFP or just go with the flow?

Me and OH think we might only have 1 LO so that we can always afford to give it all it needs so I would really like to take my full year off - how many of you actually managed to do that?

Thanks,
xx

Hi. It all depends on your feelings towards secondhand items. I'm very much into recycling & letting someone else pay the expensive shop price for items, then I buy them from them at a greatly reduced price but slightly used. I've saved hundreds of pounds. Babies outgrow clothes fast, so they're only in one size for 2 to 3 mths. I bought a 0-6 mth huge clothes bundle for £50, most was hardly used or still new. I didn't use all of them & sold some on. Travel system £60, cot £20, loads of toys really cheap.

When I knew I was pregnant, I started buying nappies & wipes everytime I saw they were on offer. If you join all the companies they send you coupons (pampers, huggies, boots, tesco, necter, ect). Tesco baby club is excelent. Get free stuff whenever you can!

You get a grant to help pay for baby items now. Child benifit is £20 per wk. Tax credits & working tax credits depends on your conbined earnings, you get more when the child is under one. SMP is £123.06 a week at mo. If you're thinking of taking the full year off save up for the 3 mths when you don't get SMP.

If you want more than one child keep all the stuff from the first!
Hope this gives you some ideas.
Yvette x

Hi hun this is a really long reply but hope it helps,

Im 22, I was made redundant a week after finding out I was pregnant back in January, I am doing this alone with no partner. On a job seekers allowance of £54 a week!!

Personally a baby only costs as much as you want it to cost.

Truthfully here’s a list of things you dont REALLY need but choose to buy: A moses basket, they can go straight to cot, a sterliser, you can use tablets & a bucket. A baby bath , you can use the sink or your own bath. Maternity clothes is a no no, I bought a few sale items from tesco & primark in bigger sizes. There was no way I was spending £20 to 40 on just a maternity bits to wear for 3 months.
People must be mad to buy nursery furniture, a small wardrobe ranging between £300 to £800 no no. Argos 3 door wardrobe £150, even this is not really needed. Ikea £50 wardrobe, Baby wipes u can use water & sponge. PLUS All baby toys are not needed. The first few months a baby needs warmth, care & love.

You now get a grant for £190 grant from the NHS & myself like most women was entitled to the £500 baby grant which the government now give, Plus even thought (not to rely on) but its obvious friends and family will buy you gifts. You also get £3.10 a week healthy start vouchers, this goes up to £6.20 a week when baby is here.

At 2 months pregnant I worked out I had a total of £690 not including any money I might want to save over the next 9 months, I then split that up to what I need to buy & will costs by looking in mother care & babies r us: (I looked at what I wanted not the cheapest items):

Moses basket & stand = basket £39.99, stand £24.99
Bedding = £24.00
Sterliser & Breast pump tommee tippee (which I do not really need as plan to bf) = £65.00
Travel system with all assesories = £279.00
Complete Baby bath set = £29.99
Bouncer = £39.99
Playmat = £54.99
Johnsons Essentials box £24.99
Baby clothing essentials, sleepsuits, body suits & couple outfits, hats, mitts plus blanket = £30
Nursing bras / sleep bra = £40

This left me with £40 to get other bits like a couple pack of nappies, wipes, Dummies, Breast pads, nipple cream, sudocrem, cotten wool, maternity towels, comfort teddy & even a few nighties to breastfeed at peacocks for only £4.

My aunty said I could have her cot, but myself I want to feel able to provide nice new stuff for my child. I like one in Mothercare for £100. As they do not need a cot for the first 4 - 6 months I can save plus use some of the money I got over the last 9 months to get the cot. Either way with my aunt or my money I have a cot.

Now at 39 weeks today this is this is what I spent, with £690:
Moses basket = Sister & friend bought for me as gift.
Moses stand = Ebay £10, when I went to collect they even gave me another free basket so I had 2.
Bedding = Friend bought for me as gift
Sterliser & breast pump Tommee Tippee= Half price boots £31.65 plus I got boots points.
Travel system same one with all bits as 2 months = sale £199 saving £80
Baby bath set = My aunt bought for me.
Bouncer = £34.99 Saving £5
Playmat = £54.99 (No savings Fisher price don’t like sales lol)
Johnsons box = £20 saving £5
Nursing Bras/Sleep Bras = My mum bought me these.
Baby Clothing’s & out fits = Friend threw me a baby shower I received many baby clothes in different ages. I spent £13 only on babies first outfit to wear.

I now have everything I need for the next 6 months & have only spent £363 out of my £690 budget. I have used my own money to buy tiny things like cotton wool, sudocrem etc, I have also got a stock of pampers wipes which were on discount but still in my baby fund envelope, I have £330 to spend. This can be used for high chair & next car seat etc, if I want to.

My mum has also said she wants to by the cot, saving me £100. The baby will be here in a week, ( if on time) & I will have many other friends & family coming round probably bearing gifts also.

I plan to breast feed for 4 months & in this time I can use my vouchers to stock up on baby milk (In date of course) . I will also save my babies child benefit money every month so I can buy him stuff he wants when he is older as he don’t need anything now for the first 5 6 years.

I have a friend with weathy parents, who when I said I had £690 to get baby stuff she laughed at me & this made me feel very down & upset for a few weeks as though I could not provide good quality stuff for my baby. She said her Travel system from mama’s & papa’s was just alone £800. Well sorry I am not spending £800 on a pram for a child for just 2 to 3 years of use. Her cot was £650 mama’s & papa’s well sorry again £650 for a cot in which a child is in for about 18 months. Sorry no. She had a box of baby clothes she bought all designer (Not worn as he grew to quick).

Like I said before a child costs as much as you want it to. I have spent £363 & all my items are brand new from mother care & babies r us, plus all my items are not cheap store brands or cheap items but just average items.

I feel very I can say Angry when I am told babies are expensive as they are not. If I didn’t have family and friends it would have still only cost me average £700. Yes child care is expensive, but this is where you either change job which can work around you, or you pay a friend to baby sit (cheaper than child care) or u don’t go back to work till the child starts play school. My aunty has 3 kids she done the smartest thing & got a job at the school. Now she works when there at school she even gets all holidays off.

2nd & 3rd kids are even cheaper as u save the items from before.

Sorry this is long I hope it helps you see a different side of motherhood.

Angie
39 weeks x x

Angie,
Thank you so so much for your amazing email! It's really put things into perspective and you really have got your head screwed on right!
Thanks again for such a great, helpful email.
xx

Angie, well done on taking the time to write your reply. Its avry good reply and so very true.

I find people often look down their nose on you for buying things 2nd hand. Like you say, why bother paying full price when it doesnt last long.

Just watned to add, make sure you research things both catalogues/shops and online. Look at reviews and make your choice. Then look around to find the cheapest deals. Theres npthing we regret buying as a result of researchng.

Alsom join up to freecycle. Our cotbed came from there. It was free and in great condition. We got in when I was about 5mths. My mum brought a cot on ebay which was less in quality for £50. Tkmaxx is also good too. You may have to pay several visits before you find soemthing decent.

Dont feel you are in competition with everybody else either.

There is a certain amount you need to spend for your lo to have essentials. But as Angie says, its up to you as parents how much you decide to pay or how much you are happy to be given free or second hand, xxxx

Thank you guys,
You right joey 08 i did they same googled, shopped catalogues etc. I would want something like say, a Graco Buggy a certain type & i would type it in google & see where i could get its the cheapest.

Truthfully people dont look at what you got, there to busy looking at the baby!! lol

Anyway i hope my email wasnt to long I got a little carried away lol!!

Angie 39 + 3 x x

Your reply was very helpful angie and your friend was in the wrong for laughing at you, but at the same time most cots that are sold at M&P's are actually cotbeds and so therefore will last until the child is 5yrs (maybe abit older), not just 18mths.

We got our cotbed for £200 from M&P in the sale and it'll be fine for the baby til he's 5/6yrs.

Hi ladies... me again :-)

I just don't understand it though - just found out that our new neighbours have a 3 week old and are in the same size house as us (2 bed - we just moved there a few weeks ago after 7 YEARS in a one bed) and yet are only in their early 20s and we're in our early 30s.

I believe I have a good job and hubby does too but what I can't understand is how they are able to afford a baby already and we think things will be tight???

Where am I going wrong here?

Rigth Susiee I think you are panicing for nothing! It WILL be ok.

I earn about £30k and hubbie about £28k - we have a large house but that means a large mortgage about £140k (I think) when Max was born things were hard but we went out much less and cut back on luxuries we took a 6 month mortgage holiday and then I went back to work 2 days a week for about 9 months and then it got too much of a strain and I went back full time again and now another 4 months on we are starting to ttc no 2 yes things will be even tighter but it is doable.

We did have some saving sbefore Max but we didn't really dip into them for him they are still there and grow SLOWLY each month. Lots of people bought things for us (the grandparents to be and friends and all sorts and we told peopleif they WANTED to buy for us to say and we could give them ideas and people we re happy with this much rather spend their money ont hings we wanted/needed) I put £25 away a month now for anythign Max needs and we buy his clothes mostly in the sale - toys and birthday and Christmas pressies and spread out and then shoes etc we buy as and when but that £25 is MORE than enough so he now has a little bit of savings too!

We get very little benefits just the basic child tax credit and that's it and we pay max's childcare in vouchers so that comes off our wages PRE tax which saves us a bit!

It is doable I think you are thinking too much AND quite a few on the planning forum seem WAY too scarily organised to me

just make a budget and stick to it, get the basic things first and then go from there, if you cant afford something dont buy it, a baby is cheap to provide for financially but requires a huge amount of love and attention which for most people isnt a problem. Also the government hands out around £800 to low income families, you have to jump through a few hoops to get it but its there if you can be bothered to do the research.

Good luck

Hi,
We're going through some similar dilema's atm also. Our main concern is that we have a mortgage to pay and not a lot of money left over. I know we're entitled to a fair bit in terms of benefits but dh is being far too practical!
Angie, if you don't mind me asking do you live with your parent's or in your own place?

I dont actually think babies are that expensive...

When we fell pregnant with Jake we earnt a combined wage of under 20k per year. We were in a one bed rented flat. I hadnt been working long enough to get SMP so got £117 per week for 9 months. We werent eligible for any of the grants etc. Our family were very helpful and the majority of our stuff was second hand or free from friends or family, freecycle or car boot sales.

Now our combined wage is about 13k per year. I am a SAHM. We struggle, but no more than before we had jake tbh. We dont have any luxeries or savings, but I guess I wasnt used to them really.

Using reusable nappies saves you a fortune too. Check out www.clothnappytree.co.uk for preloved nappies. Also give breast feeding a go.

All babies need is lots of love and attention, somewhere to sleep, (which could be your bed) or a preloved moses basket. You could get a cheap stroller for about £20 or get a secondhand expensive one!

www.freecycle.org.uk is a life saver, you would not believe what people throw away!

Dont get ina stress for nothing...alot of it is I want rather than baby needs!

xxx

Hi
I am a single mum, was from when lo was 3 months old, even before this i paid for everything more or less!

I literally went with the flow with most things, i was lucky that my sister bought me a moses basket, my nan bought me the cot and my parents bought me the pram.
I got lots of things bought for me when lo was born-loads of clothes so dont waste money on buying endless amounts of clothes!
Also instead of buying clothes from places like mothercare or next which are very expensive-buy from asda, matala, sainsburys-they do gorgeous clothes and i get all of lo's clothes from those.

As newborns babies dont really need an awful lot tbh-mainly the nappies and milk which costs but you will get child benefit to cover these things.
As they get older it is only toys that you pay for really.

I do struggle now and then, mainly because lo's dad is struggling to find work and so not providing but i just have to compromise on things and sometimes i go without but its nothing to get too stressed about.
You will find it will just work out and as long as you keep on top of finances you will be ok xx