Dear George35 and other SANDS ladies

Tonight I went onto the SANDS forum and could not believe it has been shut down!!!

Just because of a few people who could not get on. All i know is that there was something going on with a woman who had had miscarriages and an abortion who had upset some people. Such a shame they saw fit to lock out the rest of us who needed the comfort of other ladies who have lost babies. It's hard to beleive they can do that.

Well at least I still have my Babyexpert account and have altered my status so that you can email me. I'm not on Facebook so I need a forum to meet other Angelmummies.

George35, I'm gutted that our private messages on SANDs have had to end but hope you will email me via this site instead. I'm worried I won't be able to hear how you are getting on and feel like you and Grace have been on the same journey as William and I and i want to continue it aseven though I've never met you I have got so attached to you.

I look forward to hearing from George35 and other Angelmummies out there!!!

Hi Claire

Unbelievable! I went onto the SANDS forum before coming on here and like you was really shocked to see it had been closed down so suddenly. I was hoping that we would make contact again via here so I'll send you an email & I've also changed my status so that you can email me.

It's such a shame SANDS has closed. I felt it was a much better place for us to be getting the support we need. At least we can stay in touch though I share your feeling about getting attached although we have never met.

Chat soon.

George35, x

Hi George35,

I'm glad you've come back. To be honest I did not expect to hear from you so soon!

It's quite unbelievable what SANDs have done. There were hundreds of us on there all needing support and now all of us have been punished because of what a few people have done. It is quite easy to ban people from a forum as my husband used to be a moderator on a football forum and they occasionaly have to ban people. Babyexpert is a huge site and in the 18 months I've been using it I've heard of very little problems. I love babyexpert but I guess a lot of bereaved mums just can't deal with all the bumps and babies pics.

I had asked a few questions on SANDS and got replies back quite quickly. I liked that there was quite specific boards for each problem plus support for when you get pregnant again and have another baby.

I'm not really a 'joiner' but there is no SANDs group near me even if I did want to join a group. The nearest London one meets on a Friday night which is no good to me.

It's terrible that they think it is ok to have no SANDSs forum until next year. Are we expected to just put our grieving on hold perhaps? I have sent them an email to complain as I was so annoyed.

Well, I look forward to hearing from you via email soon

Take care and have a fab weekend!!

Claire XX

I was absolutely shocked aswell, and felt I had made some real friends that understood what I was going through, can't believe it just closed so soon without warning, its terrible.

Hopefully we can use this forum for support until SANDS starts up again next year?

x x x

Hi glitterstargirl

Totally agree with your thoughts on the SANDS closure. I feel that they have really let us down.

I'll check on here from time to time so do keep in touch.

Take care
George35

Hi tot the 2 of you! I hope you don't mind me interupting your thread! I wanted some advice really! I lost a little boy at 20 weeks on 5th june! I now feel that I want to do something in his memory such as a sponsored walk or swim! The trouble is I don't know which charities to raise the money for! I wondered if you have any suggestion! I hope you are both ok and am pleased that you are getting the support you need from each other xxx

Dear Becky_Lou

Welcome. Firstly I am very sorry to hear about your loss. Doing something to raise money in memory of your little boy is a great idea. My daugher Grace died on 25th June. She was born at 24+1 and lived for 10 hours. Only my husband and I attended her funeral, it was too soon to be able to cope with any other people, but we are having a special service for Grace in September and have asked our friends and family to donate money which will be passed to the neonatal unit that cared for our daughter, instead of flowers.

I don't know the circumstances around your little boy's death. Is there a charity related to research if a cause of death is known that would be appropriate?

Claire has been great support to me over the past weeks. It's a real shame SANDS has closed as we were able to chat to more Mums with similar experiences. Did you use SANDS? Take good care of yourself, it's still early days after your loss.

George35, x

Hi ladies,
Glitterstargirl - Sorry to hear about your loss and hope you are ok. It was a real shock that the SANDs forum closed like that and I was so glad that I was able to find George35 on here again as she has really helped me through this. Hopefully we can all help each other here.

Beck-Lou I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. You are not interrupting at all, we are happy to chat to any mums who are going through this. Feel free to join us. I don't come on here more than a couple of times a week at the moment but keep an eye on this board.

I think it is great that yoi want to do something to raise money for your little boy. Like George35 says neonatal units always need extra funding as they can never have enough equipment and whilst William was born sleeping I now want to help babies that are struggling to have the chances he never had.

There is also Tommy's the baby charity, who fund research into miscarriage and stillbirth amongst other things. See www.tommys.org for full details.

We were determined that William's life have meaning too. We had bought a book 'The Billy Goat's Gruff' to read to him and my husband decided to buy 3 goats from O xfam to keep William's memory alive. It means that lots of other children will benefit from William's short time with us. It is the nicest gift I've ever had and we keep the Oxfam giftcards in William's memory box.

I would like to think we'll buy 3 more on his birthday every year (they are £25 each) then his legacy becomes bigger and bigger.

Take care, hope to speak to you all soon.

ladies, i am very sorry to crash on your thread.
i am also sorry to hear that a site that has offered so many of you support through a truly terrible time has closed down.

yes on B.E there have been a few problems but luckily nothing to shut it down.
Anyway to the point of my crash, if any of you feel up to it it is possible to create your own forum place for free, like a message board. similar to here but you can leave out the baby stuff if you find it hard, i dont know if its something you would like to do?
Again just a suggestion incase it was something for someone.

Lots of love.xxxx