Hello everyone. I have a little girl of 19 months and had a good birth experience with her. My only disappointment was that I wanted to have her in the midwife-led unit with the pool etc but when I went to hospital, the midwife led unit was closed because the labour ward was so busy so I was denied that opportunity. I have since learned that it's more often closed that open! I'm not planning another for a year or so, but have been toying with the idea of a home birth. I have a few close friends who are medical professionals and they are dead set against the idea. One even said that she wouldn't let me have a home birth!! Its the only thing that puts me off. Has anyone had any similar experiences?

Thanks

Hey it is up to you where you give birth and no amount of pressure should be put on you or used to put off. My brother is a GP and he's been a bit funny about me having a homebirth with my 3rd baby (due in 9 days) - not putting me off just trying to make me aware - even though i had a normal birth with my first at the midwife led birth centre, and my second was accidently born at home delivered by my husband as he came so fast - I think sometimes its hard for people in the medical profession to dettach from the worst case senario element of things. I would suggest reading "Home Birth A Practical Guide By Nicky Wesson" - honestly its so interresting and arms you with all the info you need should you come up against negativity and it also helps you make a choice fully informed from an independant source.
Good luck
Jo 38+5 xxx

Yes, I have!!!!
My husband is a paediatric nurse and all of his colleagues think i'm crazy for wanting a home birth and are desperately trying to put me off!!! Unfortunately they are now really putting my husband off too!!!!! I'm still not sure what we are going to do, but it would make life so much easier if people let you make your own informed decision rather than thrying to tell you what you can and can't do!!!!!!

I had a homebirth 1st time round and I'm planning to have another one in November. It was the best thing I could have done, I was so relaxed in my own enviroment. I had the same midwives throughout and hubby was with me all the time (no visiting hours!!!) I would thoroughly reccommend it, if its what YOU want, then go for it!! people are always surprised when I say I had a home birth and look at me like I'm barking mad, but its what I wanted to do and its where I felt comfortable. Hope this gives you some encouragmemnt xxxxxxx

Just thought I would reply, I have a 5yr old and I am was planning my 2nd but have run into problems and now possibly considering adoption. Anyway I had told my sister that I wanted a home birth this time round and that I would like her to be there (here’s the thing my sister was not at my first and if she could help it she would not be at anyones birth even her own childs :) …LOL ) anyway she has adamantly told me that she would not condone it and she would not be there and that if I wanted her at any birth that I would have it in a hospital. She knows that I would do almost anything to have her there. But I put my sister in her place and said that I would definitely have it at home now just to spite her….LOL and she would miss out on a beautiful experience I then followed that up with sticking my tongue out at her…LOL am I childish or what. I'm 28 and my sis is 33 did I mention I pulled silly faces too

Moral of story being you should do what makes you feel comfortable and good. P’ing of my sis makes me happy…LOL can you tell I'm the youngest of family????

I too have a 19month old, i had him in hospital and as i had a very straight forward almost easy birth with him i wanted to be at home the second time....i hated being in hospital i didnt feal relaxed at all i didnt like not having my own things around me and i dint like how medical it all felt!!!
I had a homebirth 5 weeks ago now and it was soooo much better than being in hospital i was so relaxed at one point i was in my garden (at 11pm at night) labouring away. I had my lo on my bed (the same place as he was concieved lol) much comfier than a hospital bed, then i got to go into my own shower a get back into my own bed with oh!
i would really reccomend a homebirth and not worry about what others have to say about it as its your choice not theirs!!
xx

Thanks for all your replies. So full of common sense! I'm certainly feeling in a more positive mind about it now. I think that my medical friends almost know too much information so they think in terms of the worse-case scenario. I have a really positive outlook in general and I presume things are going to go well, not pear-shaped! It really helps reading about the positive stories here. In fact, I think I've yet to hear a horror story as yet. I'm sure a few are out there but perhaps those people wouldn't be coming on a forum such as this!!??

I agree that the people who know us who have medical backgrounds or work in the medical field are not as accepting of the idea of homebirth. Hubby and I have just decided that it is the best choice for us as we really want a waterbirth, and using hypnobirthing, and our birth centre that we'd chosen just looks so clinical - plus the birth pools cant be guaranteed since it depends if they are free when you go in. I thought it was supposed to have a homey feel about it but it just looks like a private hospital room to me. I get anxious at hospitals and think that being in our own home environment will help to keep me more relaxed.

Telling my mum this morning, I could see the absolute shock in her face. She hesitated a lot and basically said she wasnt sure of our choice. She works in a neonatal unit at a hospital. MIL had the same reaction, as did one of my closest friends (who is an OT) who cannot believe that I would even consider it - she had a planned c-sect with her boy. I get a feeling that they also think that since this is our first that we "really don't know what we are in for".

I think the choice should be yours and if a home birth guarantees you more that you will get what you want out of your birth (e.g. a water birth) then you should go with your own choice and not let others influence you. You dont need approval from anyone else. I would however just make sure you cover all the possibilities and then make your decision. Like, consider the worst case scenarios if you do need to go to hospital in an emergency - how far away are you and how long would it take to get there, where would you go etc.

I had a great chat to the midwife at our hospital birth centre on Friday and she told me that they send out a midwife to you when you are 3cm dilated. (You would need to know how long it might take the midwife to get to you to judge when to call them). The midwife will arrive with everything and do an assessment on you. If at that time there is an indication of possible complications that she cannot sort out, or it may be a danger to you or your baby, then you would go to the hospital - if an emergency then in an ambulance. If everything is fine then you get comfortable and you have your birth at home.

So if you work through the logistics of every scenario then you have backup plan(s) in place. After that, your home birth can just focus on having the wonderful experience you hope for at home!

People always seem to focus on the negatives when it comes to giving birth. I guess you just learn to be careful who you talk to about your plans as the majority will not be supportive if it does not involve being in a hospital, with lots of drugs to help ease all this "terrible pain" - because it is scary to THEM! A lot of this pain is actually caused by fear... which is removed or certainly controlled by a comfortable home birth where it is a lot more relaxed and calm. Of course there are always exceptions to this where complications do arise, but if you have thought these possibilities through and how they can be dealt with then there is no danger.

Hope that helps.
x

I plan to have a home birth in Jan/Feb. Most people I have told have been quite supportive but a guy at my work seemed to think I was mad and went onto tell me the story of his daughter's birth 16 years ago. He was saying that his ex was in labour for 40 hours (I think this was just the first stage) then had to have a pessary to speed things up and was then in labour for another 10 hours and the baby was in distress etc etc. It didn't matter how many times I told him that my local hospital is 8 mins by car and less in an ambulance and that you would have been transferred in plenty of time to have the pessary, he still seemed to think I would be facing a medical emergency at home! It really annoyed me! I'm well aware that one third of first-timers hoping to have home births end up in hospital, but I want a water birth using hypnotherapy and think I will be far more relaxed at home.

I think it's true that you always tend to hear more about awful birth experiences than positive ones as women don't like to 'show off' and in our society it's more acceptable to say how bad things are!

At the end of the day no woman is going to put her own health and that of her baby at risk and if your GP and midwife is happy for you to have a home birth then everyone else should be too! The people who try to put you off probably just need a few stats thrown at them and reassurance that you can get to hospital quickly if something should go wrong. Good luck!
xxx

I think it's great that some first-time mums are going for a home-birth. I was reading the other day that the perceptions that people have of the pain of child birth largely match the reality of it i.e. if you have a positive, optimistic outlook, then you will not experience as much pain as you might have done with a more negative outlook. I am now on a one-woman mission to influence my friends and enemies about how wonderful childbirth can be. People give me a crazed look when I say that childbirth was an intensely empowering feminine experience (can I just say that I am not a mad hippy chick!) It gets me frustrated when I think back to my pre-natal classes where most of the time was spent passing round forceps and other instruments of torture! How much better would it have been if there had been a few women like me telling happy birth stories? I truely think that women need to know this stuff. It's not that it wasn't painful or hard, but I was amazed at the power of my own body and the resources I found to 'go inside myself'. Oh dear, I'm getting quick clucky thinking about all of this. I'd better stop before I convince myself that we must have another NOW! Good luck to all those planning a home birth. XX

here here!!!
I'm not i hippy chick eitherand people do look at you as if you are mad when you say the best pain relief is to try to relax while in labour. But it really works.
xx

Hi

My homenirth story is on page three of this forum. I had planned a homebirth from the start but towards the end of my pregnancy my caregivers wanted me to be induced which obviously meant a hospital birth. There wasn't actually a problem they were taking a 'just in case' approach.

I am so glad I stuck to my guns. My homebirth was an amazing experience. I definiately agree with what campbelly and michelle07 have said.

I found my first hospital birth very painful. Of course labour involves some amount of pain but with my HB I was able to cope and it was a positive type of pain (very hard to explain), I too 'went into myself' and was so relaxed. As I said before it was an amazing experience for me and also for my husband.

i had a home birth and it all went really well. I was feeling relaxed and not rushed, no pressure from the midwives, they just let me get on with it. haven't experienced a hospital birth but unless there is a definate reason you should have hosp birth, go for it.

I am really hoping that my plans for a homebirth happen, my midwife has put up a arguement that its my first but my response was that any birth 1st, 2nd or 10th can go wrong there are no guarantees with labour that anything will be textbook and I want a calm relaxed environment not other women around me and people coming and going and being stressed out at a hospital when I could be at home with my lovely OH and all my comforts.

I absolutely despise my local hospital ( I had to identify my mums body there so not wanting my child born in that place) and would prob go into early labour stressing about having my baby there.

She has relented as there are no medical grounds for stopping me so she has had to!!!

My dad said to me ''why would you want to do that??'' when I told him. I explained and he has relented too and is actually on board now as are most people who listen to my reasoning.

I am open to going in if needed and open to all pain relief options again if needed but want to at least try and be at home as long as possible hopefully resulting in the baby being born at home.

xxxxxx
34+6

[Modified by: MummyR2B on August 13, 2009 10:18 PM]

I really would not worry...I am a Senior Emergency Room Nurse and have four children aged 10, 8, 3 and 10 months and all four were born at home! I went through the woprst case scenarios, but what you have to remember is that everyone working in the medical profession is dealing with the worst case scenarios! Regardless of the 1000's of women who give birth every day at home! Home birth is not for everyone, and I can appreciate that. However, I would not have it any other way- there are so many benefits. Less pain relief needed, as Mums tend to cope better in their own environment. Reduced risk of hospital aquired infection. You have undivided attention of your midwife, who if at hospital would be looking after multiple Mums. Hubby can stay with you and baby for first night together. So much more relaxing at home and you can choose the number of birth partners you want. You also dont have to worry about childcare so much. Only pain relief that is not an option is an epidural. You can get a prescription for pethadine etc... to use if needed. (i did not use mine so returned to pharmacy after!)

I really can not recommend enough! It truly is a wonderful experience- I know for some it would not be common practice, but for my 4th bay Aeryn all 3 of my children were present (around the home) by choice!
I wish you the best of luck no matter which chioice you make xxx

i have a 12 year old and am now 33+6 weks pregnant!
i am planning my first home birth! and i have had lots of negative feedback!!
at the end of teh day if there are problems a MW is on hand and she has told me a ambulance will be put on standby!
its your choice!!
xx