Hiya.

It has been a week since Eve's cremation and I wanted to share it with you as you all understand and it may be of help if, god forbid, anyone else goes through this ...

Eve was at the hospital mortury and I had to sign her release papers a couple of weeks ago. Was really upset by the clinical terminology on the forms and so wanted to whisk her away from the place and take her home but luckily my little boy was with me and kept me sane.

The hospital were fantastic and arranged everything - asking me if there were special songs/hymns/readings we wanted. As I had done so much grieving in private we decided to keep it very simple as our little boy was going to be there and we wanted him to understand what was going on.

We orderd flowers for her tiny white casket and luckily I told them that the flowers were to be cremated too as it makes a difference as to what the flowers are set in so we picked up the pale pink gerberas and set them upon her coffin. We were given the choice of holding her casket and walking her into the chapel but I just wasnt strong enough and so she was placed there for us. We put the flowers on her casket and the chaplain took photos for us and a very treasured family photo of us all which may seem grim to some but I am trying to think of Poppy when she is older and has all these questions for us.

The chaplain read from the gospel of Mark and presented a beautiful cerimony that acknowledged her brief time with us and yet treated her as every inch the perfect little person we have pictured her to be.

The service ended with a recital of All Things Bright and Beautiful. I had wanted to play James Blunt ' Carry you home' the chorus verse just says everything about my feelings from the operation to carryihg her for the rest of the pregnancy and then finally laying her to rest but it was too much and too personal to even share with my oh.

I now have to pick her ashes up and we have decided to keep them with us at home until Poppy is old enough to be told about Eve and to understand and then she can decide what she would like to be done with her twin sisters ashes. Icant pick them up just yet - I wish I could do it without Connor and Poppy so I can let the tears flow but it just isnt going to happen.

Connor and I will get them next week and I know that I will feel some peace with her finally being at home with her family.

Thankyou to everyone of you that has supported me throughot this heartache - I truly think I would have lost the plot without you all.

xxx

hi
hope you are doing ok.
i think you did really well and where so brave after everything youve been through.

xxx

bless you, you are an amazingly strong person and I'm so sorry that you have had to go through all this. hugs xxxxxxxx

Dear Winelover,

I cried (again) when I read your post. Tomorrow we are having the funeral of our son who was born sleeping just over 2 weeks ago. He was born at 22+5, too early to survive on his own. I have no other children so the house feels very empty and we were so looking forward to bringing him up.

I'm glad to read that you have other children to help you through this and that they will remenber their sister Eve as she is very much part of your family and a special guardian angel to your other two.

I intend to post my son's story eventually but it's too painful at the moment.

Take care

Claire XX

Hugs, hugs, hugs

I don't have the words but just wanted you to know my thoughts are with you.

x x x x

No words but big hugs to you all.

doublebubble

Hi Winelover, Eves day sounds beautifull. We also had pink gerberas(SP?) at Darceys funeral, we chose the fushia pink ones though as we wanted bright colours. Now i sometimes take a single pink gerbera up to her grave.

It sounds like you were very brave.... Thinking of you and your family, Eve is always in my thoughts. Take care xxx

Dear Winelover,

Eve's service sounds perfect. You are very brave. It must be very difficult dealing with your mixed emotions, great joy with your Poppy and sadness that Eve did not make it. It's lovely that you are thinking of the future when Poppy is old enough to know of her twin, I'm sure that the photgraphs will be very important to her.

We had my daughter's cremation last Tuesday. It was just my husband & I as we felt that that was the right thing for us to do. We had "One day in your life" by Michael Jackson as our little girl lived for just 10 hours. It seemed even more appropriate as she died the same day as him but it's a really beautiful song. We plan to hold another service for our daughters ashes to be buried at our local church as I really wanted somewhere to visit her.

Take good care of yourself. I'm sure that Poppy is bringing you much joy.

George, x