Hi Hun,

I read you post in feb forum & have just read one of your replies on another in here.

Obviously in here we are here to support everyone, but after reading your msg it just refleceted my experiences. We had a mmc in jan at 12wks & wouldnt have known had we not had the scan. Also my sil found out she was pg as well so we was sharing all the experiences & comparing symptoms etc. People saying at least you know you can get pg & you'll be pg very soon, you just dont want to hear as your greiving the baby you lost.

Our bubs wouldve been due on tues & my sil is due in aug.

I found it very hard to start with as she was getting further along & we had lost our one, as time has gone on it's become easier & I cant wait to meet my nephew but now tues is our nxt milestone .

I guess really I just wanted to let you know you'll never forget this bubs, you'll find that with time the pain eases & you find it easier to carry on. Be kind to yourself & allow yourself to greive hun.

If you need a chat or anything you know were all here.

Sending you lots of hugs xxxxxx

Thanks Laujai

It's comforting to have someone else in the same position.

I am struggling at the moment because it is all so fresh and I know it sounds awful but I have been avoiding my sister for the last two days, not answering her phone calls etc. I really don't want to ruin what should be a special time for her, but I can't just put on a brave face at the moment. I know when I look at her growing belly in the weeks to come I will be thinking about my bubs that I lost.

I keep saying to myself that as long as I am at least 3 months pregnant by the time she has her baby in january then i will be fine, but i know i shouldn't think like that because there is a chance i might not fall pregnant as quickly this time.

And as well as mourning for the baby we lost, I am also mourning the closeness that my sister and I had. As it was both of ours first baby we were sharing everything, symptoms, cravings, names, birth plans, prams etc etc and now thats gone.

I know it will just be too painful to hear about the latest developments with her pregnancy or what names are on her shortlist. But i don't want to be an unsupportive sister.

I am hopeful that in time I will be back to my old self and will be as inquisitive as ever about her pregnancy, but at the moment it is just too hard.

Do you mind me asking if you are ttc? We are hoping to start ttc again straight away.

Thanks for your message, I am so happy to have found this forum as none of my close friends have been through this and sometimes it is difficult for people to understand how awful this time is.

xxx

Hi Hun,

It is difficult for people to fully understand if they have not been through this, you greiving is a different kind.

I too couldnt look at my sil or talk much to her after as time has gone on i've found it easier to be involved, ask her questions & buy baby stuff etc, although secretly I do look at her & think i'd have a bump like that now & so on.

We have been ttc again since feb a month after our mmc (although I didnt have my 1st af till March & didnt start charting till then) I felt like it was a race against time to get pg while she still was as this too was & is our 1st baby's & would've been the 1st grandchild, I still find it hard when my mum comments on her now 1st grandchild who is due nxt month.
Sadly I had chem pg last month & I realised that I was becoming completley obsessed so decided to take it easy as it's not going to happen for us before my nephew is born. When our time comes it will be special cause we lost our 1st.

Im finding it a bit hard at the moment cause our due date would've been tomorrow & you cant help thinking about what wouldve been but everyone on here has been such a strong support network for me I feel so much better for having them around & just understanding.

You'll know when you feel ready to start again & apparantly they say you are more fertile in the months after a mc.

Be kind to yourself & give yourself as much time as you need. I wasnt on this forum straight after the mc so got help from the mc association they sent me some literature which helped me realise everything I was feeling was normal for what we'd been through, it also helped my oh.

If you need a chat at anytime hun you know were I am.xxxxx

I really hope tomorrow isn't too painful for you laujai, and I know that I don't really know you but I will be thinking of you.
Thank you so much for your kind words and support, I actually managed to sleep last night for the first time since the mmc.
xxx

Hi hun,

Thank you hun. Im glad you managed to get a good sleep, and like I say if you ever need a chat or anything xxxx