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Posted : Jul 10, 2009 3:03:46 PM
Subject : natural my *rse
hi ladies, just thought id post a little moan as i am reading so many posts about breast feeding problems and we are all in the same boat it would seem.
when pregnant most women look forward to the moment of breast feeding to nourish their newborn baby. who will latch on prefectly (obviously) feed till full, then fall asleep with a little contented smile upon their face. while mum instinctively knows how to attach baby correctly, while being able to discreetly cover any boob on show while visitors are there. mum and baby feel contented and happy at this natural arrangement.
the reality is both mum and baby have no idea how to get the correct position for latching on. baby waves mouth around in a frantic motion while mum aims nipple at mouth and trys the best she can to get as much nipple and boob into babies mouth as poss cause thats what the posters tell you to do. baby then sucks away while mums toes curl in pain!! mum thinks this is normal as she has nothing to base it against. after a few days or hours of this toe curling pain mums nipples start to crack and bleed. but mum knows breast is best so continues to feed through the blur of tears that now stream down her face every time baby latches on and off and on and off............thinking just eat dammit, lets get this over with!! so many problems that we had no idea bout till they happen. like not enough milk to feed our babies, having to also give formula cause baby seems hungry even after an hour and half of boob feeding. or the need for half a dozen pillows to prop up baby and mum just to get a comfortable position for the feeding. and dont even think about having some sort of discreet breast feeding. its bra off, boob out cause otherwise you cant see where babies mouth or your nipple is!! they dont show you all this in their bloody posters.
then for some reason mum feels guilty if she decides to use a bottle instead as we seem to think we are failing our babies in some way. which is not the case at all. babies want a happy mum who enjoys feeding them to nourish them. not a sad mum that is dreading baby waking up and wanting yet another feed.
so to all us mums who tried to brestfeed and found it harder than the posters, or the descriptions would have us believe. WELL DONE its not as easy as it seems and we should be proud of every drop we managed to give our babies.
and pass it on 
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MrsS1258
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Posted : Jul 10, 2009 4:58:30 PM
Here here!!! Well said, I certainly second that!
x
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michelle07
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Posted : Jul 10, 2009 6:38:13 PM
I agree BFing might be natural But it is not Easy!!
So well done to everyone that does it!! even for a short time!! xxx
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immense
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Posted : Jul 10, 2009 11:57:19 PM
What a lovely post! I stopped exclusively bf at 4 weeks due to lack of milk and constantly crying from the 12 hours feeding marathons and I felt awful! Ella is now 10 1/2 weeks and mixed fed and we are all so much happier and she is gaining weight at the correct rate (which she wasn't in the 1st 4 weeks!)
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berly
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Posted : Jul 11, 2009 9:00:09 AM
well done ladies. i breast fed in hospital but noone actually showed me how to and within days i was in agony with sore nipples. i then expressed and bottle fed for the next few days. then went to vivist my sis in law after the birth of my nephew who was being shown how to latch baby on while i was there and i relised i was doing it wrong. so home i went and gave it another go and it was blissfully pain free. but the constant feeding and exhaustion wore me down and i introduced formula once or twice a day to give me a break and it worked really well for the next week or 2. but my milk supple seems to be disappearing now as even though i still express which i thought would help keep it up im hardly producing anything apart from 1st thing in the morning. so i know im going to miss the closeness of breastfeeding but its better to have a full baby than a worried anxious mummy.
i really thought it would be the easy option when i decided to breastfeed, but its def been hard work right from the start.
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rubyjavy
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Posted : Jul 11, 2009 11:52:29 AM
berly, u have taken the rite words rite outta my mouth, i cudnt have explained it ne beta, (or more funnier) than wat uve expressed..and its feels REALLY GOOD to see that most woman feel like that and now just a few. wen i had my first i felt really isolated cos she only bf for 6 weeks as she was small and premature and all my family and friends made me feel quite bad that i had given up bf so easily....becos they seemed to think it was the easiest and most natural thing in the world, where id be sitting at home crying a fountain thinking whhere id gone wrong!!! second time i never had much of a choice becos i got thrown bak to work before bf was even estabilshed ( weve got a shop) and it was a roller coaster ride trying to bf and serve customers at the same time that my milk supply went spiralling down and i had to give into the bottle at 4 months!!!! this time round ive put my foot down and said if ne1 supports bf and want me to bf as best i can i need rest support and time to do it.....so far so good but im still cuming to the shop and ive got a 5 yr old and 3 yr old to run after but bcos of my last 2 experiences and of course bbabyexpert website, im actually going with the flow and not stressing too much, and im still bfing and expressing and giving formula as best as i can, but im happier and my lo's happy, so alls good.....and its all due to great ppl like u all who r in the same boat at the same time annd appreciate y we r tearful and moaning abt bfing when our OH or the rest of the family dont understand, becos theyve already been there and done that and "it was the best feeling in the world"!!!!
so thannx to all for making me a happy mum and helping me cum this far with bf.....
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bailey_b
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Posted : Jul 11, 2009 12:04:00 PM
totally agree..what a good way to describe what its really like!! i ploughed through the soreness and it was AWFUL! when people told me the pain would pass i didnt believe them..of course eventually it did. But then poor ciara wasnt gaining weight....was loosing it infact, even with 2 hourly feeds, i felt like i had been starving my poor baby..so now she is mixed fed...gaining weight nicely, shes a lot happier and so am i.
bailey_b
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Tash32
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Posted : Jul 11, 2009 4:10:31 PM
Here Here! Couldn't have put it better myself. God! No one tells you how sore your nipples get and how exhausting it is just sitting there - feeling guilty that you are wishing the time away. And the pressure from everyone to continue breast feeding! x
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blondefriend
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Posted : Jul 11, 2009 7:37:12 PM
I think part of the problem is not that breastfeeding isn't natural but our rushed way of dealing with it is.
Abby wasn't breathing when she was born and ended up spending a couple of days in an incubator plus another week in hospital on the post-natal ward with me . Although this felt awful at the time I now believe it was excellent for our BF prospects.
For the first few days I was able to just sit in SCBU holding her for hours with no disturbance. I had one-on-one support to help her latch from a specialist nurse. And I was able to rest at night because she wasn't crying by my bed.
When I was able to take her up to the ward with me the visiting hours were 10am-8pm for my OH and 7-8pm for other visitors. Therefore I could rest for the majority of the day with just my little baby. I didn't have to cook, clean, wash up or prepare cups of tea for visitors. Abby had an infection so only my OH and I held her until she was 4 days old and then noone her unless it was between 7-8pm. This meant we had undisturbed bonding time.
Don't get me wrong - I had sore nipples, 12 hour feeding sessions etc. I also needed to express in the morning to top her up at night. However I think the time I had at the beginning was an essential part of BF successfully.
I personally think that the problem is chucking new mums out of hospital when LO is less than a day old. She then has to go home, prepare a meal, deal with the helplessness of being alone with LO and be inidated with visitors. It is so overwhelming at a time when you are so vulnerable. No wonder the problems of BF are so difficult to overcome especially as BF is so exhausting.
I praise anyone who manages to get through those first few weeks without giving up. It's the hardest time for BF and gives no hint of the ease and satisfaction of BF an older baby.
H xx
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