Had a scan on Monday - baby measuing between 5 and 6 weeks and so releaved to see the heartbeat. However, started having brown discharge when I wiped on Tuesday and when I went for my Drs appointment on Wednesday I mentioned that the discharge was now browny red when I wipe. Dr said that it could just be implantation bleeding or bleeding because it was around the time of my period. Came away feeling positive - Dr wasn't concerned and I'd saw the heartbeat only two days before.

However, Wednesday evening when I wiped it was now bright red mucusy blood and at one point I was sure I heard a plopping noise in the toilet but couldn't see anything. Had cramping and the bleeding got heavier during the night, so much so that when I got up to go to the toilet the blood was dripping down my legs.

Still tried to stay calm and told myself that it didn't mean the worst (both my SILs had bleeding during their pregnancies and everything turned out all right). Yesterday though I was still bleeding and passed what resembled a purple grape - same size, shape and it wasn't like a usual clot of blood. My immediatle thought was "could that be the placenta and could the plop have been the sac".

Wrong the hospital and all they said was that I was already booked in for a scan on Monday so they'd see me then. I know I should have kicked off and demanded to be seen but I just didn't have the strength. I felt like saying "if it was your daughter would you be happy for her to wait four agonising f***ing days".

My OH is trying to keep us positive but I doesn't look good at all. I've stayed in bed the past couple of days just to feel like I'm doing something to help but I know if it's going to happen or has happened there's absoluately nothing I can do about it.

I know nothing has been confirmed yet but I think deep down inside I know and I just can't believe I'm going through this shit again. If it is over this will be my fourth loss.

I hope I'm proved wrong and come Monday I'll be questionning what all the worry had been about. If it has just have been the bleeding then maybe - but it's what I've passed and the fact that apart from slightly tender boobs I feel sort of normal.

It's the not knowing. My head is in bits and I know I'm rambling on. One minute I sort of feel calm, I guess preparing myself for bad news then I feel worried and tearful, convinced that it is over yet again and all my plans have come to a grinding halt.

I just want Monday to be here and everything to be okay with this little one. I'm not religious so apologies for anyone who is but I feel like if there is a God he couldn't be this cruel - to let me hold my dying mam's hand to my stomach just in case I was pregnant, to let me find out the day after her funeral that I was pregnant and to take the one thing that was giving me strength away from me. I know I'm no more special than anyone else but I've had my share of losing babies. I hope I haven't offended anyone who is religious, that's just how I feel.

Please let everthing be okay, x

Oh big hugs xxxxxxx
I have my fingers crossed for you and I hope monday comes quick so you know. I hope you are ok.
xxx

Hey hun really sorry to hear what you are going through, what time does the EPU shut today? just know you are going to find it hard over the weekend not knowing whats going on, everything could still be ok and worrying isnt going to help you, could you try getting in today and explain your concerns if you are a bit calmer they could be a bit more understanding? just worried about you thats all, thats why I ended u in the EPAU last Fri when I didnt have an appointment mine was meant to be the following wk 2 but they squeezed me in, fingers crossed everything is ok , thinking of you Lots of love Luc xxx

I'm so sorry you are going through this. The waiting is horrible. Fingers crossed things are still ok. xx

13+6

Oh lynn I saw this post on the home page and my heart just sunk when I saw you had written it. My heart sinks when anyone writes such a post but you have been through SO much with all your losses and the loss of your mum recently too.

I am keeping my fingers SO tightly crossed that everything will be alright come Monday, I really am.

I know the waiting is so anognising but I also know the feeling of having no strength to argue with them about getting an earlier appointment. I really wish they'd think about the emotional impact such things has on ladies.

I know there is nothing I can say to make you feel better right now but please know that I am keeping you in my thoughts and hoping so much that this is nothing more than an awful scare.

Lots of love and hugs, NN xxx

Sorry to hear this, fingers crossed for you, hope everything is ok for you XXX

Lots of love and best wishes to you honey, take care and i hope everythings ok. I agree with Luc - could you try the epu?

Hi Lynnbo,
I am so sorry my love. The waiting does make it all so much harder. I will be thinking off you this weekend. You are right, how can life be this cruel?? I really hope you aren't going to have to face all this again. Sending you lots of hugs hun. And I hope the next few days pass swiflty for you.
Love Lilou xx

Hi Lynnbo,
I am so sorry my love. The waiting does make it all so much harder. I will be thinking off you this weekend. You are right, how can life be this cruel?? I really hope you aren't going to have to face all this again. Sending you lots of hugs hun. And I hope the next few days pass swiflty for you.
Love Lilou xx

Hey hun was so sorry to read your post, but just wanted to send you a hug and some PMA. After 3 mcs I had heavy bleeding and passed clots between 5 and 8 weeks with this pregnancy and am now 33 weeks. My close friend also had 3 mcs and she too had cramps, bleeding and clots at 5 weeks. She was so convinced she had lost it that she had a glass (or 3!) of wine to numb the pain. She is now 16 weeks. Nothing we can say will make you feel any better, but just keep postive it may well not be all over just yet. Will be thinking of you on Monday and looking out for you post. Take care, keep resting and wishing you every last bit of luck I can find that all turns out well on Monday. xxx

Im so sorry to read your post. Its a hard thing to wait not knowing but worse when youve been there 3 times and youve had a terrible time.

Try to stay positive, it isnt over till its over so there is still hope and you should hold on tight to that.

Take strenth from other posts about everything working out ok and focus on that. Your past losses dont mean that this is the same.

Will be thinking about you and sending you loads of sticky baby dust

Gemm x

Will be keeping everyhting crossed for you hunni and sending loads of PMA

karen xxx

Am so sorry Lynnbo. Just want you to know that I am thinking of you. I really hope it is good news on Monday. Try to stay calm.

Take care,
Edie xxx

im thinking of you.....((hugs))

xxx