Hi all,

Gate crashing from Pregnancy, but wanted your thoughts and experiences on maternity leave and going back to work full time.

Looking at my maternity policy with my job, I'm only going to be able to afford to take about 18 weeks maternity (plus 3 weeks annual leave). I'm really lucky really as for those 18 weeks I pretty much get the same amount of pay as I would if I was working. But after those 18 weeks, the pay drops to just SMP, which we cannot afford for me to take.

When I go back to work, I'm HOPING (boss has okayed this, just need to chat to personel now) that I can have every other Friday off (and hubby will do similar for the other friday) but not actually drop hours, just extend my hours for the other 9 working days in a fortnight (if that makes sense?!). My mum has then offered to have baby for two days a week, and we'll use a child minder in the area that I work (as I can easily leave work if there's a problem, hubby can't. Typical really as he works about 5/10 minutes from home, and I work about 40 mins, but hey, can't be helped.) for the other 2 days.

Anyway, I'm feeling a bit worried that 18 (21 with annual leave) weeks is really short. Whats going to happen with LO going onto finger foods and things. I'm sure the child minder we choose will have plenty of experience with that type of thing, but I still wonder. Plus, with baby's evening meal and bed times and things (reading you ladies on here to look at normal bedtimes and evening meal times etc) and that I won't be finishing work until gone 5, then having to pick LO up and drive home...I just can't see how timings and things will work! I feel like I'll hardly do anything with baby during the week!

Can you please share your experiences and how you work your week?

Thanks

C xxx
17+2

I there honey, I only got SMP from start so you're lucky they are making your money up!

I left 4 weeks before lo was born and went back when he was 6months, 4 days a week (had fridays off) lo went into nursery 2 days a week and MIL had him the other 2 days.

I had stopped bf from about 8 weeks due to illness so didn't ahve to worry about expressing etc adn Shea went into a day nursery where he still is 2 days a week at 21months

I miss weekday meal times but he get his breakfast dinner and tea at nursery then the days MIL has him she gives him breakfast and dinner and I leave off at 4.30 to do dinner. Is your work flexible? I'm lucky my boss is a mother herself so knows how hard it can be.

18 weeks isn';t too young and unfortunatley financial needs must!! So my advice would be
Don't make yourself feel guilty - its a must
When your not at work , make sure lo has quality time with you - groups, activities etc
ignore chores when you get in - thats baby time

As for food, don't worry - Shea eats better at nursery than at home!! You mentioned child minder, have you considered day nursery? as I think lo's thrive better when mixed with other children than a one to one, also child minders don't have any sttrict criteria to go by but nurseries do esp surestart government places, there is a curriculum from 0 -3 and Shea often goes on outings adn to other baby groups and he's very forward for his age.

any way, its far to early to be worry about this - enjoy rest of pg and enjoy your baby while you're at home. Time goes fast!!!
xxxx

Thanks claire a belle!

We're chatted about child minders and nurseries, and at the moment we're going with a child minder until baby is at least 1 year old and then looking at the possibility of nursery (more sociable!). But it will all depend. See what happens!

Thanks for sharing how your day works though. My worry is squeezing in those extra hours to the other 9 days which will mean either getting to work earlier (after dropping baby at child minder or mum) - but then I consider what if baby sleeps late-ish (ie, after 6am!! lol can't believe I just described that as late) and I have to WAKE baby up. SUrely that's not good? - or leaving later and not getting home until pretty much LO's bed time!! Or BOTH! lol

I'm a bit of a control freak and love having everything as planned out as possible as early as possible so I'm sure that isn't helping..... lol

Thanks for saying about the meals and that Shea eats better at nursery than home!! REALLy put my mind at rest where that's concerned actually!

C xxx

I agree- sometimes these things can't be helped so please don't feel guilty about having to return to work,
It will be difficult but you just have to make sure that the time you do spend with baby is quality time, not chores/shopping although these still need to be done!! My little girl went to a child minder full time from 7 months old and she has thrived - we spend our weekends having fun and playing and try to do as many chores as we can in the week at night when she is in bed.
As for childminders, they are governed by the same rules, they also have a curriculum, think it's called 'Early Years' or something and they are very strictly controlled by Ofsted as long as you chose a registered one. My preference is definately for child care in a home environment, I don't like nurseries at all but that's a very personal decision to make, I just feel that if my child has to be in some sort of day care, I'd rather it be in a home from home environment where she'd mix with children of other ages - like she would if she had siblings and I love the attachment she has formed with the lovely woman who takes care of her.
Enjoy the rest of your pregnancy though and the first magical weeks of your childs life.
xxx

Thanks Donna&Poppy, good to hear thoughts from someone who uses a child minder. The whole nursery/childminder issue is a mine field in itself sometimes! The concensus so far seems to be to say "s*d off" to household chores when baby is awake! Sounds good to me...that's what I say to household chorse most of the time anyway! lol

C xxx

I have to say i've never had an issue with lo sleeping past 6am!! Hubby used to do early shifts and got up at 5, so lo got in habit of doing this too!! then oh lost job so managed to get Shea to stay in bed til 6 when we get up, sometimes he'll sleep later (and I too don't like to wake them) so these mornings I get myself ready as I can (me making noise upstairs usually wakes him subconsciously!) then i'll go in his room as late as poss and get him up
I have even been known to take him to nursery in his pj's!!!!
xx

Hi doll, I went back to work about 2 months ago and am doing similar to you.

I work 3.5 days a week but have condensed my hours so the days I am in thh office and longer than a normal working day. Over ythe course of a week I only lose about 5hours pay for the 1.5 days off I have.

But that does mean I leave early, 7am, and only se Archie for a few mins before I drop him into bed with daddy. Then 2 days a week I miss teatime and playtime after work. But I'm home for a quick play and then bathtime.

We use a childminder and like you had planned to do this till he was one and then move him to nursery. But to be honest, he loves it. He's playing with other kids. She takes him out for loads of walks and to a baby group once a week. I provide all his food and she sticks to his routine as much as possible. So I've no plans to move him for now. Besides all that it's considerably cheaper and more flexible than a nursery.

I make sure we do loads of stuff together when I'm not at work and I really love the time we spent at soft play or swimming. Sometimes I used to get frustrated with all the baby time and not enough time for me and hubby. Now I just really appreciate and make the most of our time together.

It is hard going back to work but once you get into your new routine you will be absolutely fine. Suz x

hey hun, my situation is slightly different to yours cuz it's my OH that stays home with LO while i work full time...

we both worked before i got pregnant and when i went on maternity leave (SMP) we basically just lived on OH's wages (my SMP just paid the mortgage)...my job was higher paid and i had the chance to train to get a better paid position which my OH didn't so it made sense for me to go back to work...

so, when JJ was 8 months old i went back to work and OH left his (well, that was the plan but he was told to leave the company as soon as his boss found out he was leaving but that's another story)...

with regards to starting finger food etc i have found that it's been pretty easy...OH won't try anything new with him so it's left to me to do it, i usually have 1 day in the week off and half a day sat and all day sun so that's when i try new things with him...i'm guessing you have weekends off? all you'll have to do is if ur off on a friday and full weekend practise with the finger foods for the 3 days and maybe a little bit in the evenings when u get home from work?

you could possibly have your routine where LO has tea at 6ish which isn't too bad while still young but may be a bit awkward when baby is older and has a set bedtime e.g 7 ish?

hope u get something sorted x

Thanks for all your advice ladies. I think it's just got a bit scary thinking of going back pretty much full time (9 days every fortnight) when the baby's here, but your experiences have really helped me realise that I'll just have to make much more of the time on weekends and that every other Friday.

Thanks ladies.

C xxx
17+3

I was dead lucky that I was off until lo was 11 months then I started working again part time. But in all honesty being a SAHM isn't as great as it's cracked up to be (in my experiences anyway, though I know others who love it) and when we move I won't be able to stay at home (I'm off atm as work is so quiet!!) due to money issues so I'm desperately job hunting.

My friend works a 40 hour week and has her lo and she has coped really well with it & her lo LOVES nursery - I honestly don't think lo's suffer for having parents who work full time & your lo will always know who his/her mummy & daddy are so don't worry.