So nice to hear hon. Ride that up wave, it's the place to be. Great you are having some tests done next week. Then you can start dealing with facts rather than mental torture of what ifs. Im so pleased you are feeling more upbeat. And that is down to YOU! (ok the tlc, this post and chocolate cake helps too !)

Kristen - I dont envy you !! Been there twice, got the t-shirt... but the end result will be worth it Im sure! Plus, you can always keep b'ding under a dust sheet !)

xx

I would LOVE a new kitchen! Ours is just looking so tired at the moment, might give it a lick of paint in a few months maybe brighten it up a bit lol! CD13!! Woo! Im officially on CD4 at the moment!

Where are we all from? I'm from Bonnie Scotland and for once the weather has actually been lovely! Enjoying getting all my Vit D from the sun lol!

Ive been reading a book by Kaz Cooke called 'Pregnancy and Birth' i bought it when i was pregnant before and never looked at it because i then had the mmc but ive pulled it off the book shelf and its such a funny book!! Its written as her own pregnancy experience yet filled with fab information even though im not pregnant its brill to read and its helping with the 'imagine yourself with a baby' plan!!

Sim75 - How you feeling with the heat hun? Do you have any names for your little one yet? Yours is such a lovely success story and it really gives me hope!

Claire1234 - im glad this thread has made you feel better too, this place is a god send and im touched by how lovely everyone is here! I guess when your all after the same thing! Regarding Agnus Castus great minds think alike! Ive been taking that for about a week now as im heard its supposed to be fantastic so fingers crossed!! Although it leaves a horrible after taste in my mouth!

xxxxxxxxxxx

Im down in London. Not so sunny here anymore :( Had a fantastic week here last week but now it's all over... I normally get really aggitated in the heat (except when Im sitting by the pool in a bikini!) but fortunately I didnt really get affected by it when it was here. I was expecting to as the tube hit 45 degrees on my line.

So glad you have Kaz Cooke's book. It is the best! She is an aussie actually (like me), so she actually wrote an aussie version and it is so popular there. Now there's a uk version. She puts things in a really good fun way and takes away the "text book" feel. Im glad its part of your 'imagine yourself with a baby' plan. Great stuff!

We've chosen the name already which we had for a while - it's Brody Michael (our last name is Harris). Up until our 20wk scan I thought it was my little girl coming back again so I'd been calling her Lily all the way through! Now Ive started my bonding all over again with this little man - he can crack quite a punch in there too I might add (probably because I was calling him a little girl for so long!!)

You have all this to look forward to hon. And the other girls on here too. It will happen, it just takes time for you to complete your journey first before you get there. And when you do, it's probably going to be even more amazing, special, and nothing is taken for granted after being what you've been through to get there. It doesn't take anything away from the loss you have had, but it strengthens you and the journey you've been on. Many little angels return later. I learnt with my little girl that she thought there was a better time to come later and that is why she left in October. It comforts me to hold the hope that she will come back one day. I lost her twice in the last 10 years and she has been hovering with me in spirit for all that time, which I only just found out a few months back. Sometimes it is hard for them to come back and they may need to hover around some more. I think in my case, I now think she sent her brother through first - as my hubby put it, he may have needed me more now than she did so she let him go. Ive had so many dreams with her in them over the past decade (varying ages but always under 3-4yrs), and several dreams since I lost her in October. Only once have I dreamt of the little boy with her. They both waved to me and said everything was ok and that they were safe and well. She was older than him and taking care of him, and perhaps was there to introduce me to him. I had that dream during a reiki session when I fell asleep and it was right when I was conceiving him. I thought he was coming later because he was younger than her so it was quite a surprise to see him on the sonographer's screen (though I still could not see his boy bits!!!!) because I was expecting her to be there and that in my dream she was telling me he was there but coming later and would be ok til then.

This is what keeps me going with her, to have been able to turn that loss into something special and comforting. I no longer feel without her knowing that she has been with me in spirit all this time, and continues to be today. I stopped feeling that Id been robbed and was crap and would never be a good mum because I lost her. She gives me hope every day.

So I truly believe all your LOs are out there hovering around you now, just as they were before. The time just wasn't right for them. They are safe and well, and they want you to be ready before you conceive again. And that's where the believing in yourself comes in...to be able to conceive again, able to hold that pregnancy for the whole 9 months, hold that beautiful baby in your arms, and be a fantastic mum that has so much love to give your child! They are smart little cookies even before they are born, and they there around you helping you to become stronger!

Big hugs xx

Hiya sweety!
I love London, ive only been once mind when i was 16 but it was such a good trip. I do amatuer theatre and a bunch of us went down to catch some big shows, we went to see Phantom and Blood Brothers and it was fab! I did get pick pocketed right enough but these things can happen anywhere.

How cool your from Australia, when did you move over here? Do you think you will ever go back?

Thats a lovely name for your son, sounds like a film star! Really goes well with the surname, if we have a boy he is going to be called Logan, my mum hates it but we love it! For a girl its either Rose or Helaina (my mums name is elaine and my mil is called helen so its combining them) so really its helena but spelt differently. LOL!

How did you find out so much about your little girl? I'm really interested in things like this and it would be lovely if i could find out a little more about my LO. My email button is there if you would prefer to use that?

I really love you attitude hun. its so positive and reading your posts i cant help but feel lifted and more focused your deffo going to be a FAB mum and your hubby is a very very lucky man!!

I cant thank you enough!

Hugs xxxxxxx

xxxxx

Hi MrsTIL, thanks again for your post.

I'm so glad to see you've got some PMA back - your hubby sounds a real darling.

Just wanted to say that i've been charting on FF since my mc in March and i've found it a really helpful way of seeing that my cycles are getting back to normal and i'm getting back on track ready to ttc in Sept.

I've also been using CBFM - it's my second month on it - that has really helped as well.

Good luck hun x x x

Are you as bored as me this afternoon?! Its drizzly outside and Im meant to be at a 4yo's picnic in the park.....but Im avoiding a cold thats threatening to come on so Ive bailed out.

Nothing like a bit of BE time to pass the afternoon away!

Phantom is great. I took my mum to see that many years ago when she was here. Id have to say the best one Ive seen is Saturday Night Fever. It was awesome. Seen a few in the 13 years Ive been here. Mama Mia (3 times!!), Dirty Dancing, Lion King, Greece, Chicago and tonight's The Night (Rod Stewart)! I guess I prefer the musicals! So can I expect to see you up on stage one day?!

Crap that you got pickpocketed. Part of being in a city with opportunity though I suppose. Over the years Ive been pickpocketed twice (on tube and in a crowd at the millennium at midnight) and had my bag nicked 3 times!! The last time was a few months ago in the cinema!!! I was so mad. I even looked the guy in the eye when he was doing it as I was on the end of the row and he was sitting across the aisle and behind me but waited for the lights to dim and seized the moment and came over. I thought he was someone else trying to get into our row so I even went to stand up, watched him falter, then thought he was going in the row behind me. Realised 2 secs too late he'd taken off out of the cinema with my handbag. Spent the next 1.5hrs watching the security tape at the cinema...still havent seen the movie we paid for and went to watch!! Grrrr. Surprisingly I did get my handbag back (which was a brandnew birthday present 1 week old) as he dumped it and my diary was left behind with hubbys number in it.

We do plan to head back. Its up in the air at the mo. Hubby was made redundant about a month back and he has started a short contract. He has wanted to go back for a while but Ive resisted and we finally agreed we would go after I stop working and have a baby. In my last spiritual reading, which he came to, there was a suggestion we would be going in December. Hmmmm.. we shall see! Im preparing myself to go but at the same time I am happy to stay on. It will be tough leaving after being here for so long.

Brody does sound rather American doesnt it!? A while back when we were first pregnant last year we went through all the names and that one just clicked. If hubby has his way he will be a golfer or a tennis player! I just LOVE Helaina! And how lovely to have put your mum and MILs names together to get that! I love Logan and Rose too!

I ended up down the spiritual path when i was at the end of my tether. Thats what turned it all around for me. Found myself in a bookstore one day in the spiritual section and I started with some Angel and Guides books. I was longing to see someone for a reading but didnt know where to start to find someone legitimate and trustworthy i.e. "the real thing"....didnt want someone to just take my money and fill my head with crap! Then I asked my yoga teacher one day if she knew someone and it happened that she did them. She is wonderful and a few of my friends also went on to have some amazing readings with her too. Unfortunately she left to live in Greece 2 months ago but is back this week for 4 days. So I have another reading with her on Thursday as I need to know a bit more about where my little girl is now that Im having a boy cos she kept saying it was her spirit that was with me and not to worry about the boy for now (that was 2 months ago). I guess I need to know if she really did send him through first or if there was another reason why she couldnt come back just yet.

I wrote a post on here about 2 months back that explained it a bit:

http://www.babyexpert.com/chatroom/topic/110789

Ive just loved having the contact. It helped me so much, to no end. Its a matter of finding the right person to help you achieve that contact. I found once i started putting my feelers out, my contact was standing right in front of me every day!

xx