Anyone else feel like a failure for giving their lo a bottle?
In brief as not done birth story yet -
11hr labour,ended with epidural,forceps and a cut - lost quite alot of blood (i think they said about 750 ml and the norm is 500??) but Summer (almost 10lb) was put on my tummy straight away and we had skin to skin and she was fine.

After i was stitched up,and things were cleared away the mw helped me b/f her, whilst laid on my side, she latched on great and fed for about 15 mins, then fell asleep for pretty much the whole day, trie to wake her a few times but was soooo sleepy so was told to feed her again around 7pm - still didnt want to but latched on for about 10 mins. Was then taken up to the post labour ward around 9.15pm they checked her blood sugars and said she was fine but i HAD to feed her in an hour or they would feed her formula, tried at 10pm, still didnt want to, then was woken at 10.30 to try and still no go, checked her b/suger again and was ok. They woke me around midnight and another mw came and helped me get her to latch on, but she only stayed on for 10 mins or so, again i was threatened with formula, this kind of goes on all night, then at around 6am she just starts sucking! So im really happy, she wants feeding every 2hrs throughout the day (even at 3pm when im taken down for a drip of iron - my oh has to bring her down to me as she was crying for me - sooooo lovely melted my heart) she gets a bit grisely around 6pm when we are being discharged and doesnt want to feed much, we get home with her and she cried non stop until around 5 am. It was a high pitched sqeeky cry, after hours of trying everything we can think of my oh asks if i reckon shes hungry, we decided to open the emergancy carton of formula and put a little on my finger - well she just guzzled it - so oh is frantically running around sterilizing the bottles (the i never thought we'd need) and when we give it to her she looked so happy, and when we finished her litte eyes were open and she just looked SOOOOO relieved wed figuered it out! I felt bloody terrible! On sunday, we woke up and i tried to feed her and she did latch on and suck properly, and i fed her twice for around 30mins at a time, but then the same thing happened - constant crying and refusing to latch on, so we tried the formula and she was happy again.
I tried expressing earlier and nothing came out at all.
When we were in hosp i leaked constantly, but since coming home ive not leaked at al.
I didnt want to bottle feed her, i feel so let down with myself, and that ive let her down too.
I dont want to mess her around and try to get her to latch on anymore, or have i given up too soon?
i would be happy to express and feed her but nothing came out - ive got an avent isis manual pump.
Sorry this has turned into an essay.
Thanks for reading xxx

Hiya honey, firstly, congratulations! Secondly, do not feel like a failure!!!! The exact same thing happened with my son, and the only help i got from my midwife was her telling me not to be so stupid, of course i had milk. Which i didnt! And never did. Since then i've gone on to have a daughter, and am still BF her at 10 weeks, and have had an awful lot more help and support! So what i have learned is that babies stomachs are the size of a marble, so they really only need a tiny tiny amount of milk to fill them. With a bottle, they get a bigger amount in a shorter space of time, so they will feel a little fuller. Is it just the evenings your lo seems agitated? If so, it seems to me that she might be doing whats called cluster feeding, getting lots of milk on board for the night! Bella did this for the first few weeks and still does. If you still want to BF, try just continuing to latch her on whenever she cries. This will send messages to your body to produce more milk so will boost your supply, as well as filling her up! What i've also been told is that if baby wants feeding within an hour of the last feed, put them back on the same side, as the milk in that side will have a higher fat content. I used to do this as much as possible, but sometimes the cluster feed would go on for a few hours, so i would switch sides once i felt empty in the side she was feeding from if that makes sense. what you could also try, if she's falling asleep or stopping the feed after 10 mins or so, is take her off, change her nappy or her clothes so she wakes her up, then latch her back on to the same side again if she'll take it.
With expressing, getting nothing out in the early weeks is completely normal. Bella is now 10 weeks and i'm only just in the last 4 weeks managing to get enough out for a full bottle!
If you do want to continue with bottles then do it, its nothing to feel bad about, please don't feel you've let yourself or your baby down, you really havent! Remember a happy mum and baby is the most important thing, so do whatever you feel happiest with.
Sorry for the essay, i hope i've been somewhat helpful, i've just listed all the things i can think of that worked for me!
Congrats again! xxxx

hey hun, please dont feel like a failure....ive tried bf my kids,( on my third round now) and just getting the hang of it now....
my first was really small, so wudnt bf, with my second i had to go bak to work early, so cudnt bf...now im on my third lo and shes was REALLY fussy gettin on the breast, i had to do expressing then feeding for nearly 8 weeks!!!! and it was tiring, but the only thing kept bme going was how bad my last 2 situations had turned out that my kids hardly got ne milk......milk takes a few days to cum in, and then it takes weeks to become a regular supply, ive still not got enuff supply for my lo because i was expressing and my milk supply decreased with lack of attatchment, so attatch as much as possible, and express after feeding her every time, once she starts to attatch (which she eventuallly will) she'll have her enuff milk supply to give her the encouragement to latch on again.....dont worry ull get there eventually, its just a matter of being as stubborn and persevering......
hope this helps, GOODLUCK

Thankyou for your replies ladies, i think my milk has come in now, think it came in yesterday actually.
So far today, she had had only breast, no top ups. We will see how tonight goes but fingers crossed.
Def not as easy as it seems!!

aahhh thats good news, i'm glad it seems to be working out now!
Its certainly not as easy as it seems, but i promise it gets easier! xx

I remember the night I gave Abby formula. It was 3am and she had been latched on since 9pm and was still hungry. We were both crying and my OH went downstairs, sterilised the bottle and put in our emergency formula. She downed it and fell asleep immediately. I cried for ages, feeling that I had failed her. I can totally feel your apin.

Anyway I started expressing the next day. My MW gave me great advice - I expressed 30mins after each of my morning feeds for 5 mins at a time. After noon I rested and drank water. I could then give the EBM to LO in the evening after her last BF. The first time I expressed I only got a tiny bit but it soon built up. I am now expressing every day as I'm back at work full-time and can get up to 300ml at times.

That bottle of formula was the only time she has ever drank formula and she is now 7 months. I'm not trying to make people feel guilty for going onto formula but expressing worked really well for me.

Good luck,
H xx

Thank you, i have also been expressing now as she is sucking sooo hard my nipples are sore and crackd, and with that and the probs im having with my stitches and an infection i just wasnt enjoying feeding her as it hurt so much. Have just bought an ISIS IQ UNO handheld electronic breast pump from Avent so will see how i get on with that until my nipples heal a little!xx

Firstly, don't feel guilty if you give your bb formula - your bb being fed & happy is the most important thing...

Anyhoo, I have both the AVENT manual & eletric uno pump - on the manual pump have you put the little rubber star/flower shaped thing in & the right way? - pushed up from under neath the main pump bit...a friend of mine has this pump & said it wasn't working - she had forgotten this part & went & found it in the plughole of the sink! lol!
I have very leaky boobs (leak whilst pregnant too) yet if I pump at the wrong time of day I'll only get about 1oz when usually I can pump upto 8oz! Try to pump first thing in the morning - this is when you should have the most milk. Try pumping whilst bb is feeding off the other breast - put bb in the rugby ball position this is easier with the electric pump...but I have been known to have bb on one boob, pump on the other & had a hand free to text on my phone! Now that's multi tasking for you! lol!
Try to be in a calming/not too hectic room whilst pumping as stress can stop the flow & have bb nearby so that you can see them & this will help your milk flow. Try pumping whilst having a relaxing bath (don't use the electric one for this!!!).

Lastly get some Lanisoh nipple cream slapped on those sore/cracked nipples! £9.99 in most shops - Boots, Mothercare, chemists or if you're lucky your doctors may issue it free on prescription (depends on the doctors area).

I think you had some bad help in hospital, it's quite common for newborns to have a big sleep just after being born & also bb's feed for different amounts of times so 10 mins is nothing to worry about - both my bb's only fed for 10mins at each feed, I have a very fast 'letdown'. & a bb will feed every 2hrs or so in the beginning to stimulate your milk supply & when they have growth spurts.

If you have been giving feeds from a bottle then keep this up as my bb fights having EBM from a bottle & it is 'doing my head in' to think that if I leave him with someone that he will scream the place down before taking his feed from a bottle...he took a bottle fine at 5wks old & 6 wks but then we didn't bother for a couple of months & that's when he decided 'breast is best' grrrrr!

Good Luck & it is hard getting your head around this being the 'most natural thing in the world/what MotherNature intended' so why is it such bloody hard work doing it!
xxx