Hi girls,
So sorry for the massive delay. Life is just so busy I barely have time for day to day up keep let alone extras like writing birth stories and going online. But I'm loving it. Here is my birth story if you are still interested.
Niblett xxxxx
Emily’s Birth Story
William James Leadbetter - Born 11.35am, 28th June 2009
*A note – a part of hypnobirthing is about attitude and language, therefore I don’t always use the expressions people are generally familiar with. Here are the main ones:
Birth Show – Bloody show
Membranes releasing – Waters breaking
Practice surges – Braxton Hicks
Surges – Contractions
The birth of my son took 6.5 hours, he weighed 6 pounds 4 ounces (3.4kg) and I gave birth to him using hypnobirthing. I used no drugs – at all – and felt no pain. I honestly believe that any woman who wants it and is low/no risk can have a completely natural drug free labour. It is what our bodies are designed to do.
On the morning of Thursday 25th June I woke up to find a small amount of birth show in my knickers, possibly a sign of the first stages of labour. I was mildly excited but didn’t think too much of it as shows can happen up to 2 weeks before labour begins. I was really hoping to get to the weekend as my hubby Simon had a big pitch on Friday which I didn’t want him to miss (hmmm..... fat chance!) Simon and I had a cuddle in bed and did some relaxation techniques we had got from the hypnobirthing course which involved Simon reading scripts to me while I lay in a relaxed state.
At 4.30pm when Simon was at work I felt a bit damp between my legs. I went to the loo and discovered a tap had turned on between my legs! I was on the phone to Simon at the time so held this distracted conversation while mild panic set in! I didn’t tell him as I wanted to be absolutely sure. I stood up to get some big knickers and towels leaving a trail of liquid behind me – thank god for wooden floors! So at this point I was certain my membranes had definitely released.
Once myself and the floor had been thoroughly cleaned and padded I phoned the birth centre where I was booked in to give birth. They told me to come in at 8pm to be checked over and discuss what would happen next. I sat in the bathroom for about half an hour feeling slightly panicked, excited, hopeful all my hypnobirthing training would pay off, and really guilty that Simon wouldn’t be able to do his pitch! For about 10 minutes my vocabulary seemed to consist of only swearwords as my brain tried to assimilate what was happening. I phoned Simon, told him not to panic (or was I telling myself?) and then burst into tears apologising for making him miss his pitch. Of course he said ‘Don’t be silly, this is far more important!!!’
I was not in labour at this point but really hoped that it would start itself soon as I knew that 86% of labours do start within 24 hours of membranes releasing and then 5% per 24 hours after that. At the Birth Centre they checked my blood pressure, temperature, felt my tummy and checked for William’s heartbeat. All was well. What they did tell me was that if I wasn’t in proper established labour by 4.30pm the next day I would be discharged from the Birth Centre and have to go back up to the labour ward for possible induction and antibiotics. I was sent home and told to check the colour of my waters regularly, that William was moving at least every 4 hours and my temperature every 4 hours. Feeling this desperate need to give birth in the birth centre and not have it medicalised in the main hospital, the pressure was on!
It was always our plan to have a completely natural childbirth using hypnobirthing. It ascribes to the philosophy that women were designed to give birth and as birthing mothers we need to totally relax and trust in our bodies and our babies to know what they are doing. Tensing against the surges and feeling fear of the process will only become self fulfilling. Using relaxation techniques, different types of breathing for different stages of labour and a having deep belief in working with and trusting my body, not only would I not need any form of artificial pain relief, I would not feel pain, only increasing pressure as each surge occurred. While the Birth Centre was very positive and supportive of hypnobirthing I was fearful of involving doctors on the labour ward knowing that induction often leads to a cascade of further medical interventions and a forced artificial labour (and therefore a lot more intense than going into labour naturally). This left me feeling quite fearful for all the work, practice, planning and hopes I had for my baby’s birthing. I really wanted William to experience a gentle, safe and comfortable entry into the world, not the drugged, scared and pain filled traumatic experience that some women and babies end up having. As a result I felt huge pressure to start my labour before 4.30pm the next day!
That evening Simon and I tried lots of natural labour starting techniques. We walked for literally miles (thank goodness for summer!), walked sideways up lots of stairs - if you spotted a very odd looking heavily pregnant woman walking sideways up and down the stairs at Notting Hill Gate tube station that would have been me! The steps in Waterstones bookstore also got the sideways treatment; I kept surreptitiously looking at the book displays so as not to look too weird! (I don’t think it worked!!!) We ate a very hot chilli con carne and I spent hours sitting on my birthing ball to try and urge William down. Needless to say I woke up the next day and nothing! Not a twinge...
By 4.30pm on Friday afternoon I was feeling pretty depressed and despondant. I phoned the birth centre to say that I wanted to wait another 24 hours before coming in, all my signs to check for were fine and I really wanted to use the birth centre. That was when they told me policy didn’t allow them to take women whose membranes had released for more than 24hours. I was no longer ‘low risk’. They suggested I went into the labour ward anyway to discuss my options with the doctors and have the babies vital’s checked over. I had a little cry over my disappointment at not being able to use the birth centre, I had stupidly set my heart on it, and resolved to reset my expectations.
Before going in Simon did some research for me on released membranes prior to labour so I knew what I could be dealing with. Basically NICE guidelines recommend a choice to the mother of either inducing or something called ‘expectant management’ which essentially means ‘waiting and seeing’ for a maximum of 96 hours, at which point induction is highly recommended due to the increased risk of infection. In the first 24 hours there is a 1% chance of infection (0.5% in mothers whose membranes haven’t released) this risk increases slowly over the next 72 hours. After 48 hours it is only 10%. I decided to go with the expectant management option and carefully monitor my symptoms and my baby.
Additionally there are two waters that release - fore-waters and hind-waters. It is the fore-waters releasing that present the most risk of infection as the tear can be right above the cervix, hind-waters are higher up and there is very little risk of infection. One of the ways to tell which it is that have released is by the amount of water, fore-waters gush, hind-waters will permanently trickle. I was a permanent trickle. The other way to tell is that if your fore-waters have broken the outline of the baby will become much more obvious as there is reduced water around him. With hind-waters your stomach will look no different. My stomach looked no different, as pregnant as ever. Therefore I had much reason to believe that it was my hind-waters that had broken. Even more reason to go with expectant management and not induction.
With a heavy heart but determined spirit Simon and I went to the maternity day care unit to discuss our decision with the doctors and get the baby checked out. They put me on a broken bed and left us to stew for ages as they were particularly busy. William was completely happy with a strong heartbeat and lots of movement and all my vitals were still perfect. When the first doctor came in to tell me it was hospital policy to induce me straight away I explained my decision to wait. He was not happy and made me feel like I was making a grave error telling me they would have to do blood tests and an internal examination and stressed the risk of infection. A note here: If a mother’s membranes have definitely released and she wants to wait and see if her labour will start you NEVER give an internal exam, as this introduces foreign bodies into the vagina massively increasing the chance of an infection. What was he thinking? I felt deeply under threat at this point. He said that he could not sign off my decision and would have to get his senior colleague to talk to me and agree. I could just picture him telling her about the difficult patient on the unit who was refusing induction and how about she try to convince me... I stayed calm and focused and stood by my convictions. The second doctor more senior doctor Clare came to talk to me to discuss my options, she reiterated the hospital policy and started discussing risks of infection with me versus risk of caesarean if I was induced throwing all sorts of statistics at me. She told me that at whatever point I was induced there would be a 30% chance of it ending in caesarean so I may as well be induced now. So I pointed out that if there was a 30% chance of caesarean if I was induced now an only a 1-10% chance of infection I think I would rather take my chances with infection! Infection would result in a course of antibiotics (fine), caesarean would result in having a major operation (not fine!). Suddenly she was telling me to not pay too much attention to the percentages! Hmmm.... so only when they work for you then doctor? Anyway so I went home with the promise to come in and be checked again the next day.
We went home that evening with heavy hearts feeling our hopes and dreams for my labour and William’s birth slipping away. One Chicken Piri Piri Curry later and a long walk and I decided to phone some people for support. My wonderful cousin Kim who has a history of birthing naturally at home and my hypnobirthing instructor Allison both let me bend their ears while I told them our plight. They really helped me to stay strong and it reminded me that anxiety and tension over wanting labour to start would certainly prevent it. I needed to completely relax, trust my body and my baby to know what they were doing and also feel willing and able to face whatever happened with a positive attitude. So what if I couldn’t use the birth centre? So what if I couldn’t have a water birth? (due to possibility of IV drip) Ultimately in the next 72 hours I would be meeting William for the first time and just because I couldn’t have things the way I planned didn’t mean it couldn’t still be a wonderful beautiful experience. I started to relax and feel positive again. Simon’s stepfather Chris who is a hypnotherapist emailed over a natural birthing induction hypnotherapy script which gets you to give your body permission to go into labour and Allison emailed over a ‘fear release’ script which helps you let go of anything that may be in your subconscious stopping your body from relaxing into labour. That evening Simon read them both to me while I put myself in a state of deep relaxation. We also tried some natural oxytocin release in the form of nipple stimulation (thank you Simon again!) 5mins on each nipple with 15mins break in between. Within 2mins of him starting my uterus would tighten and I would experience a practice surge. My body felt on the cusp of labour, I just needed to tip it over!
At 5am that morning I had a series of small surges. They did not last but they were a sign that things were moving in the right direction and I awoke feeling positive about the next 48 hours. That day Simon and I continued with all the natural labour induction techniques, from more natural oxytocin stimulation, to the relaxation scripts for inducing labour and lots of walking. Emotionally both Simon and I had turned a corner and felt positive about whatever the next 48 hours held. This period before labour began was a real emotional journey for both of us and brought us closer together. It gave us some real quality time together to talk through everything, and just spend time together and prepare for the birth that we wanted. We stopped thinking about other concerns over these hours - the flat refurb, work, money etc ... and just focused on the birth of our boy. In some ways those three days were exactly what we needed as a couple.
That evening we went back into the hospital to get checked out. I felt dread that they would try to pressurise me again to be induced but far more resolved and sure of my course of action. We packed all our hospital bags in readiness but left them at home as a statement of our resolve to not be induced that evening. I could feel that my body was so incredibly close to labour I felt utterly in tune with what was happening inside me. Upon speaking to the doctor again she said she really wanted to see William born by 96 hours rather than to start labour by 96 hours so I made an appointment to come in the following evening at 6pm if my labour had not started naturally. William’s health was my primary concern and I was keeping extremely vigilant with signs of infection. I decided I would be happy to be induced at that point as I was starting to feel impatient to meet my son! I felt calm and in control of that decision and also felt confident that I would go into labour that night.
That night I awoke at 3.30pm and felt no labour starting. I still felt completely relaxed and unconcerned; I remembered the night before my surges had started at around 5am.
At 5am exactly I awoke to the feeling of strong surges..... finally!!! It was a deep tightening across the base of my uterus and lower back which came and went at regular intervals. I lay in bed hoping against hope that it was not too good to be true and that they would continue. They were 3 minutes apart and over 1 minute long. I woke Simon and asked him to time a couple for me, the length of the surges had increased to 1 minute 20 seconds! I phoned the hospital to let them know and the woman I spoke to was so unhelpful verging on rude. ‘Oh, weren’t you supposed to come in 3 days ago?’, ‘Um, no I spoke to the doctors and they knew my plan, I was booked to come in at 6pm this afternoon to be induced but I am in labour now’. She told me to stay at home for another 3 hours to make sure my labour was really advanced, as in cases like mine, labour tends to stall and then I would need to be induced. I remember thinking to myself, ‘Well I’m damned if my labour is going to stall... this is it!’, and in my heart I knew it was. I went to the loo and my discharge was pinky-red. Knowing this could possibly be a sign of infection (or just a sign of labour as it turns out!) I decided to go in anyway, I phoned them again and spoke to another unhelpful person who didn’t seem to really even want me to come in. I hoped so strongly that I only spoke to the receptionist as the conversations I was having were stressing me out far more than the labour was!
I lay on the bed on my left side, completely relaxed and practised my sleep breathing (In 2-3-4, Out 2-3-4-5-6-7-8) to keep myself calm and relaxed, mentally getting in the zone. As each surge started I did my slow breathing (in for at least 20 and out for at least 20). I imagined the muscles of my uterus as blue ribbons flowing easily and in harmony in the right directions opening everything up. I also visualised my cervix as a blooming flower, gently opening with each surge. The breathing and visualisations really helped to keep me calm, comfortable and confident in my body. While I was doing this, Simon was sorting all our bags, phoning a taxi and getting me ready. He was my rock throughout the entire thing. The taxi then arrived and off we went!
When we arrived on the labour ward it was clear I was in labour, everything stopped when a surge came and I had to lean against something and just breath it out. We gave them my notes and my carefully written birth preferences (Simon and I even rewrote these to reflect our new wishes once my membranes released and the goal posts moved) and I was put into Labour Room 6. The midwife who initially looked after me only had 1.5 hours left of her shift so she set me up in the room but did not get too involved with me. I put one of Simon’s big t-shirts on and lay on my left side on the bed. Simon asked for a birthing ball and stool to be brought in for me. I continued my ‘sleep’ and ‘slow’ breathing while lying on the bed on my side while Simon sorted out the room for me. He put the relaxation music on and started to talk through some relaxation scripts with me. His voice was so calming and reassuring, he was my anchor throughout every surge holding me with his voice and presence, I trusted a part of myself totally into his hands (the part that normally is so organised and likes to plan and tidy and be involved in every detail) the rest of me I focused deep down inside on my baby, my surging body and maintaining a completely relaxed, calm and positive attitude.
The midwife had to put a canula in my hand so she could IV antibiotics into me to prevent any potential infection. She completely fluffed the first attempt and had to try again in a different vein. There was a lot of blood and it was pretty painful, but I just remained calm, breathed through it and did not even outwardly acknowledge that it was happening. Poor Simon had to sit down at this point, due to the amount of blood (the only point in the whole labour where he felt squeamish) but he didn’t let onto me it was affecting him, he just carried on talking me through my relaxation scripts like a true professional. The midwife said she had never seen a woman not flinch or wince or react at all to a canula being fitted, so I think at this point I was well and truly in the zone.
At 7am my new midwife, Vicky, arrived. She asked permission for a student midwife, Elaine, to attend my birthing. I had met her the previous day so said it was fine. These two wonderful women stayed with me for the rest of my labour, they followed my birth preferences to the letter and they remained completely quiet and calm during my labour, only getting involved when necessary, remaining in the background and respecting my need to have anything discussed with me before they acted. Vicky was 25 weeks pregnant and was booked in to do a hypnobirthing course herself in 2 months time! So I was very lucky to have a real advocate for what I was doing.
Over the next couple of hours, my surges gradually got stronger and closer together. I kept up my breathing and visualisations and Simon maintained constant vigil beside me reading me relaxation scripts, lots of deepening scripts and giving me many words of encouragement while I was experiencing a surge. I remained totally relaxed and limp between and during surges, the midwives said they had never seen such a calm and relaxed birthing woman – almost asleep.
Just before 10am I got up and crossed the hall to the loo. The two doctors I had dealt with previously were standing outside my room. I calmly said hello to them and went to the loo. A tip - Sitting on the loo when you are in labour is incredibly comfortable! I didn’t want to move but I worried that they might get concerned if I stayed in there too long so I sadly dragged myself back into the labour room. The main doctor Clare told my midwife Vicky she wanted to see how far my cervix had opened as they were convinced that my labour was going to stall or not progress and that I would need to be induced. I don’t think they could believe I was that far along if I’m calmly walking down the corridor to the loo. So what a surprise they got when they discovered I was already 7cm dilated. After 5 hours of labour! Simon told me afterwards they had actually said that if I didn’t give birth within 4 hours they were going to induce me! The pressure they put me under never stopped but I was so deeply within my own body at this point luckily I did not realise as I think if I had it would have been the perfect recipe for everything to stop. The doctor at this point finally said ‘Well you won’t be needing me then’. Well I’d known that for the last 3 days! I found out later that when I was in my final stages of labour, they wanted to come in and watch me give birth because they were amazed I had gone through the whole labour without any drugs, even gas and air. My midwives told them where to go! My birth plan specifically requested that only essential people be in the room while I was birthing, clearly they were not essential and we knew where they were if they were needed.
At this point things started to progress very quickly. Vicky confirmed that it was only my hind-waters that had broken and asked to release my fore-waters so that my baby’s head could sink down into the birth canal and labour could progress further. She warned me that my surges would get a lot stronger very quickly. I consented and boy did they get stronger! At this point I could no longer lie down comfortably so I knelt on the bed resting my head and shoulders at the top end. The pressure in my bottom and around my uterus was so intense and I really had to focus on my breathing and Simon’s voice. This was the only point at which I nearly cracked – I think that the intensity with which the surges suddenly came on threw me out of my relaxed state partially – the technical term is ‘transition’. Vicky said to me, ‘3 hours and William will be in your arms’, I said ‘I don’t think I can’t take another three hours of this’, and laughed! Because I knew that the very fact I felt that way meant I was in the final throes of labour – I had been warned I might hit a wall and this was it – in a weird way knowing that made it easier and strengthened my resolve and determination to see it through the way that I had planned. I focused so hard on my breathing and visualised my little boy making his way down my birth canal as the surges came, I could see in my mind’s eye the muscles flowing like blue ribbons and my cervix opening with ease. I flopped into a totally loose, limp almost asleep state between surges utterly enjoying those moments of relaxation, knowing that every surge was one closer to meeting my son. I made a little joke at this point saying ‘Next time I’m having an epidural!’ Vicky said ‘Well you’ve still got your sense of humour then!’. In my head for just a moment I thought to myself... ‘You think I’m joking?....’ It turned out I only had 1.5 hours to go.
About 45 minutes later the pressure in my bottom and birth canal became so intense kneeling also became uncomfortable. Every time a surge came I could feel William inside me, but it was almost as if he was stuck and would not move down. At this point I had started to ‘breath the baby down’ which involved very quick inhalations and strong breaths downwards and outwards when a surge started. Vicky suggested I moved onto the birthing stool to change the angle and help William move down. I said ‘I hope he’s not stuck!’. Vicky said that his head was pushing against the bend in my cervix and needed to get round it. The stuck feeling I felt was that every time a surge came his head was pushing against it but not going round. Vicky suggested that if my body felt ready I could bear down with the surge to try and get him around the bend. I know that with hypnobirthing you are not meant to ‘push’, you are meant to ‘breath the baby down’, but it felt in my body absolutely the right thing to do at the time. I could feel him right there, he just needed to go around the corner and I had to help him do it!
Simon was sitting on a chair behind me and I was on the birthing stool. My two lovely midwives were sitting on the floor in front of me encouraging me and supporting me. I was leaning back against Simon fully and as every surge came I gripped his legs and pushed back against him. As I started to bear down the noises that came out of me I can only describe as being animal. I bore down with all my might and I could feel William slowly inching his way round that bend. The feeling of him moving down was an indescribable intensity, I was so focused and every inch of my being was pointed on birthing my son. I totally relaxed between the surges using Simon as my total support, having him there behind me, guiding me through it was amazing. He was my rock and my anchor. Those final few surges when William came round that bend were the most amazing moments of my life. No longer did the pressure release between surges, as William’s head was there maintaining it. And then suddenly, from enduring the most incredible amount of pressure I had ever felt, there was this immediate release and I knew, he was round and his head was out. The relief - my body went totally limp as I paused for a moment as his little body did a quarter turn inside me and then I pushed his shoulders and body out.
So at 11.35am, 67 hours after my membranes released, 6.5 hours after my labour started and a second after he was out, this tiny little boy was placed on my chest. Beautiful, perfect, alive and well. The rush of love and emotion I felt was instant as I held his tiny body in my arms and heard his first yelps. He was so alert from the start, so calm he barely cried - my perfect son. He had an apgar score of 9 at birth and 10 just 1 minute later. I like to think that this is because of the calm and gentle birth he had with no drugs in his system and a very relaxed positive mummy. Both midwives were actually tearful and said it was the calmest gentlest birth they had ever seen, they had never seen a birth like it. The student midwife Elaine had never seen a non-medicated birth before either. Even the doctor, Clare came in to congratulate me. I think she was genuinely stunned at my determination and the fact that it went exactly as I had planned and did not become the cascade of interventions she had been planning for.
The rest as they say is history. Simon and I are the happiest parents on the planet. We have this perfect, calm, chilled out, happy baby (even 8 weeks on – most of the time!). My body and mind also bounced back incredibly fast and I feel completely back to normal – even my pelvic floor does!
So all you Mummies-to-be out there who are worried about your births. Please take heart from my story. I am not unusual or an exception to any rule. Any woman who is low/no risk is entitled to and capable of having a completely natural birth. Just trust in your bodies and your babies and relax and breath. I highly recommend hypnobirthing, it totally worked for me. But more than that it is about having the right attitude - If you believe that you can have a great birth you will - and you all deserve it.
Love Emily
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