Hi ladies,

Im really at a loss, my lo is 16weeks and we're really struggling with his sleep, he just doesn't seem to like it!! He's nowhere near sleeping through (another topic i won't go into!) but now naptimes are becoming a problem.

He's just not in any routine, it's not for lack of trying. He has a morning nap in his cot for about 30mins, he goes down for this quite well, then at lunchtime he'll sleep on me for about an hour. I try to get him to sleep in his cot but he screams-today for half an hour before i gave in. He then wouldn't even sleep on me! I usually end up taking him for a walk in the afternoon just to get him to sleep a little more.

I just don't know what to do, should i keep trying to get him to sleep in his cot? will he eventually fall into a routine by himself? Im just so tired, all my energy seems to be spent on trying to get him to sleep-i feel like just giving up but then i end up with a very grumpy baby. Why does it have to be such a battle, am i doing something wrong? I feel like such a crap mummy

hi pixiebob, i'm having similar problems with Austin (15 weeks), he goes down lovely at night at night, settles himself and sleeps thru but during the day his naps are a struggle. he doesn't really have a set routine for them as they are a struggle, he will not settle himself for these and demands to be cuddled to sleep for his naps and even then he fights his sleep meaning lots of crying, sometimes on both parts. sometimes I resort to the walk as well and i've been doing this more and more often and I think i've made a rod for my own back cos I don't think it'll be long til that's the only way to get him to sleep in the day. so unfortunately I have no words of wisdom for u but just wanted to let u know ur not alone on his one.
xx

Thanks Siany, it's so lovely to hear im not alone with it-all my mummy friends' babies sleep so well and im just on a real downer as i feel like i must be doing something wrong with him.

He just fights it so much. As soon as he starts yawning/rubbing his eyes, i pick him up, get him wrapped up, draw the curtains, sing a little lullaby and pop him in his cot-the second i let go of him he starts screaming-he just can't go to sleep without crying, even when it's clear he's exhausted.

He does go down well at night, he always has a cry but only for about 10mins and he's never awake later than 6.30pm so thats something at least! x

Thanks Siany, it's so lovely to hear im not alone with it-all my mummy friends' babies sleep so well and im just on a real downer as i feel like i must be doing something wrong with him.

He just fights it so much. As soon as he starts yawning/rubbing his eyes, i pick him up, get him wrapped up, draw the curtains, sing a little lullaby and pop him in his cot-the second i let go of him he starts screaming-he just can't go to sleep without crying, even when it's clear he's exhausted.

He does go down well at night, he always has a cry but only for about 10mins and he's never awake later than 6.30pm so thats something at least! x

I'm in the same boat with my little boy too! He's 8 weeks and goes down ok at night in his cot and sleeps from 7.30pm ish through to 4-5am ish (although tonight he's having a bad time going to sleep which is typical LOL). However I'm pulling my hair out as to what to do with regards to napping during the daytime. As from 2 weeks ago he started crying as soon as I put him down in his moses basket for a nap (previous to that he would nap in his basket for 1-2 hours). I would then pick him up and I couldn't even settle him on me once he'd got himself into the crying frenzy. If he falls asleep on me during the daytime then that's ok - he can sleep on me for ages......but putting him in his cot is a whole different story!! I feel like I have to hold him constantly during the day which is so tiring and it's wearing we down. I know he's getting over tired during the day but I just don't know what else to do!!! I would love to be able to put him into his bouncy chair or cot to either just sit or have a nap so that I can actually have a little break and do something or get myself something to eat - but he won't have any of it!!
I hope someone has some good tips or advice as I could do with it desperately!!!

xx

Hi Ladies,

Didnt want to r&r but just wanted to say you are not crap mummies by any means !

My lo went thru a phase of not napping at around 10 weeks, but I would still put her down in her pram in the lounge. If she cried I would try to leave her for 10 minutes (not always successfully) and she would wear herself out and fall asleep. Recently the pram has been put away as she's too big for it at 14 weeks (sob) so is being put in her cot for the first time and it was a struggle but I found that if I put a muslin cloth over her face she'd fall asleep much quicker, then when I was sure she was sound asleep i'd take it back off.

Have you tried giving them a dummy ?

Sorry ive not been much help but just wanted to reassure you that you are fab mummies.

My lo hated napping as well to the extent where he was awake 12 hours a day when newborn - we worked it out though and now at 14 months he loves to nap. Today he had a 3 hour nap in the morning and 2 hours in the evening and sleeps thru every night! (I'm not boasting just saying - it gets better)

I'd try being strict and putting him to bed BEFORE he shows signs of tiredness. At his age it should be 1.5-2 hours after he wakes. This is what I had to do & it worked, I was so amazed that a baby needed naps that often but they do!!

A comfort object of some kind helps like a dummy or a muslin, my lo has both, it took him till he was 3 or 4 months to get the hang of a dummy but it was a v useful nap time tool and still is.

xxx

This all sounds so familiar.

My LO was a nightmare on the napping front, and has done the 12 hrs + with no sleep.

Again, going down in the cot became a nightmare - every time you put him down asleep the eyes ping open, and awake he just screamed. He is better now but still has days where he doesn't sleep without a lot of pursuasion, and he still naps on my lap regularly.

My advice would be to keep going with a bedtime routine regardless of how they sleep during the day. Ciaran still goes down well at night even if he hasn't slept great during the day, it can be harder work but he will go down and sleep through (he's nearly 7 months now and has been sleeping through - 11 - 6.30 since about 10 weeks.

During the day I found that if I could get him into the cot for a sleep on the first nap of the day then it often became easier to get the others in the cot. If it's been worse during the last week or so then it may be that the weather is too hot for them. Ciaran has rarely slept in his cot for the last 2 weeks as although the temp. hasn't been excessive, it has been muggy up there and just uncomfortable so he wakes up.

As Tiger Lily says if you can pre-empt their sleeping times it does help. Ciaran starts to get whingy at x times (varies by length of time since last sleep/food depending on time of day) but when he does get to this stage I pick him up and he sits on my lap while we watch TV. This seems to help keep him calm and start to chill out which then helps him either drop off, or he's happier to go in his cot when he is asleep.

I do have one friend that after 6 months is still struggling to get her little girl to nap unless she's in the pram being walked around. If you do rely (or can only use) one method such as walking it does get difficult as they get older to get them to sleep without thier 'standard' support of going for a walk etc. As yet she hasn't found a solution so there sometimes isn't a perfect solution, and she has tried sooo many things and they haven't worked.
From what I've seen from her experience the only thing I can possibly say is that really perservering with more than one method of getting them to sleep can pay dividends.

The other thing I'd say is try to keep calm and not get too stressed about it. If they can feel your stress levels building about them going to sleep, they tend to pick up on it and then won't go to sleep as they sense something is wrong. We do tend to find that if we're getting frustrated with him not sleeping then he just won't sleep. When we give up and just let him stay awake and have a cuddle, then he's more likely to nap!

Good luck. It will get easier.