Well as some of you know i've struggled with BF from the start despite being to drop in's and having 2 BF councillors over to help.

I was going to BF am and PM and FF during the day but even thats not working. Lily feeds for about 10mins a time, doesn't have a full feed in the a.m and is now refusing a long feed at bedtime...i put her down...she cries until i feed her again! HV says that baby's just feed on demand...but at over 6 months surely there should be some sort of pattern in place?

I feel so sad at the thought of giving up as i feel really connected to her but i'm struggling to fit BF in between work and study so then i start to feel guilty that i'm giving up for the wrong reason...but then i think its better to have a happy mummy rather than one whos stressed and upset...i think too much!

I feel all over the place but part of me feels like i need to get feeding routine sorted before i can get any other routine / life back in order!

I know there's not a miracle answer but needed to offload x

This must be so difficult. I admire you so much for managing to bf whilst working, studying, and running a household! I've no idea how you've done it for so long and not for one second is this "giving up". I call it standing back, putting things into perspective and then bravely facing some scary decisions.

As you know I can really identify with the feelings of sadness and almost-guilt - giving up means our babies are no longer dependant on us. I have to say that I've only been bottle-feeding during the day for a few days now, but already it's starting to feel quite normal. If it's DEFINITELY the bf that's causing you upset & stress (as opposed to just a general lack of routine) then I think you're right and bottle might be the way to go. It's a massive cliche but I really do believe that happy mummy = happy baby.

Just a thought - will giving up bf entirely necessarily mean you'll fall into a routine, though? If Lily is only "snacking" from you at the breast, won't she continue to do the same but from a bottle? Or is this ok as someone else will be able to do it?

My Lily does have a rough routine (3 meals, 2 naps and 4 milk feeds a day) but it's in no way enforced, it's just what we've fallen into and there are variations. These past few evenings it's been too hot for my Lily and the only way I've got her to feed from me for longer than a minute is by having her in just her nappy with a fan on us - without this she just cries and squirms away. Could something like that be affecting Lily taking a proper feed from you?

Hugs for you, Carla - it's scary letting go of that connection that only you can have, isn't it? I've been telling myself every time I feel sad that we HAVE to give up at some point, so we're going to have to experience the sadness sooner or later anyway.

Oh hun - it sounds like you're feeling bad about it all and you really shouldn't.

You will still feel and be connected to Lily and if you are struggling then that's not good. As you say, happy mummy = happy baby and that is the most important thing.

You should be very proud that you have bf'd for so long - I for one have a lot of respect for that

Hi thanks for you're replies.

PTB - its so nice speaking to someone who understands how i feel. Its feels like such as seperation but after you saying that you see it as standing back and the fact it will all have to end eventually it does make me feel better.

Because it hasn't been a success i keep asking myself why. But i guess on a positive note i have lasted 6 months when i struggled to get through 6 weeks :)

With bottles she downs 6-7oz in a matter of mins with other people and then doesn't need feeding for the next 4 hrs!

It must be confusing for her as some days its Bf all day and when she's looked after its bottles.

I'm going to see how the weekend goes with just bottles but express am and pm to keep milk supply there in case.

Thanks for listening..hope alls going well with the mixed feeding too x

good luck carla, i replied on ptb's thread about emotion etc. i'm struggling with when to stop as going back to work so i know how you feel, an having given up at 6 months with milly, i know all about how i'm gonna feel when i actually do. like ptb says, we have to stop at some point so will be sad whenever that is eh?
we've all done the best for our babies and we should be proud (need to tell myself that and get a grip!)
xxx

Oh Carla I really feel for you. It's even worse when you're back at work as you really relish every moment of close time with your LO and I know I would feel devastated if that was removed as well.

However I don't think I know anyone who has put so much effort into BF as you. I remember you having issues at the beginning and thought that if that had been me I would probably have given up. You are an excellent mother and have given Lily an excellent start. In fact beyond 6 months you might find that formula is actually better for her as it has all the iron and vit D that she needs.

I would definitely say that the HV is talking rubbish if she thinks a 6 month old should need cluster feeding all evening. It's probably a combination of your supply being low (especially after working all day), Lily being too tired to suckle properly and not getting enough solids in during the day. I also know quite a few babies who have just come off the breast somewhere between 6 and 9 months and just aren't interested anymore. It's sad because it's such a nice bond but just part of growing up.

Good luck Carla and hope to see you in August,

H xx

Thank you so much helen...everyones replies have made me feel sooo much better.

I tried bottles all this weekend and Lily has been a much happy baby and i've felt more relaxed although felt sad giving her a bottle when i felf full.

I've still bf am and pm but need to top her up in the a.m. Your right though Bf so often must make her very tired which could be another reason why she's not a long feeder.

I do feel my supply has dropped rather quick but even if i only feed for a small amount of time in the am /pm i still get that closeness.

Thanks everyone for you're support, you've really made a difference xx