Hi all, haven't been on for a while, but I use to post a lot in baby. I'm Fran and my little girl is Amy and she is one.

We are having some serious sleep issues and I am getting so upset about it now! . Amy has never slept well, she started teething from 3mnths and is currently cutting four molars, everytime I get her into a routine, along comes another tooth and the routine goes out of the window. She loves her milk, but is not that keen on solids, very rarely will she eat a whole meal. Amy still loves her milk and is not losing weight, which is why I am not too concerned about the food issue. I made the mistake of taking her into our bed, so she will only sleep in her cot for a short while. I have to fight to get her to sleep, she will either fall asleep on the bottle, or by me holding and singing her to sleep. She has one nap in the morning, usually 30mins and that will be it. At night time she will go to sleep between 7.30 and 10pm, but she will wake twice for millk. I really want to get this sorted as she is so big and heavy and I have problems with my hips. I have tried controlled crying a few times and again today. I really stuck it out today, after an hour of screaming, she was sick...which is normally what happens when I use this method. I live with my in laws and my MIL was furious with what I was doing and I must say, I was heart broken myself. The thing is I am a nursery nurse, so I feel like a failure as I should be able to cope with this! My MIL looks after Amy Mon-Wed while I am at work, there is no way she will do CC. I need a technique we can both use and agree on. I have also tried the Pick up Put down method, but was in agony using it. Any advice?

Fran x

Hi there honey, sorry you're having a bad time of it and can sympathise as my little boy didn't sleep through until after 9months and has the same problem - becomes very restless when he's teething.

He's now 21months and only has 2 left to come and his sleep pattern is now getting better.

I had to do CC when he was 10months and it took me 3 nights and it worked. It was bloody hard and heartbreaking but it did the trick. So my advice would be give it another go but if you don't have the support of the family then its going to be hard.

I'm also going to say a couple of things you might not want to hear!
1) She doesn't need milk during the night anymore! She is probably waking expecting milk and you need to try and get her out of that.
What I did was i'd go in the room, don't turn lights on, sush baby and resettle, whisper sleep time now, but with not too much eye contact and walk out. Try and leave her as long as you can bear then go back in and do exactly the same thing. It will take afew nights but she'll get the hint that she's not getting any more milk
2) She needs to be put down awake and learn to take herself off to sleep. If you continue to rock her to sleep you'll have this problem a lot longer. She should also get out of the habit of falling asleep on teh bottle too.

Also try and get her into the same bedtime routine at night. Shea has a bath at 6.00pm then playtime and book reading till 7pm, then he's up to bed, always awake but he will be asleep within 5 minutes.

During the day you say she only naps for 30mins or so. Is this in her cot, or pushchair?? Toddlers need between 12 and 14hours sleep a day. Shea sleeps from 7 - 6am and has a 2 hour nap during the day but its always in his cot with his curtains closed. If he's put in his pushchair he'll only have 1 hour max.

I hope some of this advice might help, and understand you are NOT a failure at all. You may be a nursery nurse but with your work you are detached but with your own there are so many more emotions going on and its hard to be objective and sensible about things.

Also, have you thought about talking to your HV / GP as when SHea wasn't sleeping through they talked about sleep therapy but wouldn't consider it until he was at least 11months.

Hope things get better for you soon
Claire and Shea
x

Aww thanks Claire! I know in the back of my mind she doesn't need the milk anymore, but I think it was because of her not eating. Maybe she will eat better if the night feeds are gone. She shares a room with her sister, so I guess I have rocked her, so her sister doesn't get disturbed. Her nap in the day is in her cot, sometimes if I lie her on the bed after 30mins in the cot, she will sleep up to 2hrs. Thanks for your advice...it really hads helped me feel better, I will be seeing the HV on Fri and will chat to her then.

Fran x

Thats okay Fran

I also meant to say that Shea has never been a great eater either but I would imagine that lo will eat more during the day if she doesn't fill up on milk at night.

I have good days and bad days with Shea's eating and it used to really stress me out but i have to stop myself worrying about it!! He too is still gaining weight and i'm sure if he was hungry he would eat more!!

Being a mother is a complete minefield!!
x

We had the same problem with Samuel and he wasn't having any of it he still wanted his milk - my hv told me to gradually water it down - start with just 1oz of water in the normal amount of milk, then take oz of milk away and substitute with another oz of water and so on. Do it every 3-4 days, so it won't be such a drastic change for her, but it worked for Sam and after a couple of weeks when it was more than 1/2 water in the bottle he thought twice about it and started sleeping through. Good luck. It's hard, but you'll get there. xx

Also what has crossed my mind - is it that she wakes herself up by bumping into the cot sides? When we moved Sam into a toddler bed (with a bedrail) he was much happier and now that he is in a proper single bed he sleeps 13 hours solid at night and 2 hours in the afternoon - because he does not wake himself up by bumping his head/arms. As you said she is a big baby, maybe when she travels around her cot she accidentaly bumps herself and wakes herself up and then thinks oh well might as well have some milk now that i am up. xx