Dear Ladies,

I have been away for a while but I'm back again. I am heartbroken as i lost my baby at 51/2 months. It took me 10 months to conceive first time then I miscarried at 9 weeks. I got pregnant straight away and was thrilled although I've had a few problems along the way with bleeding. Baby was fine at the scans and Downs and othe Chromasomal abnormalities ruled out. we were nervous but had decided to relax as baby was kicking so much and everything seemed fine.

On saturday I started bleeding and ended up losing my beautiful boy. He looked like a sleeping angel and I am so please that we have photos to remember him by. It has been so traumatic and I feel that life will never be the same again.

I am determined that we will not give up hope yet as we want to be parents more than anything in the world. In the meantime I've got all sorts of tests ahead of me to try and find out if there is anything wrong with me. I'm planning to keep myself in good shape to make sure my eggs are in tip top condition and get ready to start TTC again.

I've been lurking a lot on this forum during my pregnancy and am glad to see that some ladies have become pregnant and moved on!

I hope you don't mind me sharing my story but I have found such comfort from this forum in the past and I wanted to come back.

i'm so sorry claire for you lost, how awful! I think your being very brave by trying to focus on the future, your a better person than me. Hopefully the docs will be able to find out what well wrong and maybe prevent it from happening again. My thoughts are with you and hubby. Take care xxxx

OMG chick that is horrific you poor thing I dont know how you are even able to function, there is nothing really that I can say other than that you your oh and your little one will be in my thoughts and prayers, life is so cruel and many times we never get to know the reason, I wish I could just see you to hug you, I hope more than anything you reach your dreams soon xx

I'm so sorry Clarie. I really hope you get to become a mummy soon XX

What a horrible thing to have to go through, I am so sorry to read of your sad news. I hope you and oh are looking after each other and my thoughts are with you during this difficult time.
Your determination is brilliant and will help you through your jouney which I truley hope will not be too much longer xx

Thank you for you kind words ladies. Every day is very hard and i feel relieved when the day is over and I climb into bed. Each day feels like conquering a mountain.

I realise that whilst I feel like the unluckiest woman in the world I am fortunate as I have a wonderful husband and family to help me through this.

Whilst it is too soon to make future plans I am determined to live life to the full after this. Once I feel stronger I want to look into volunteering to help others who have been through similar experiences.

This has shook everything up and wrecked our hopes and dreams and I feel determined to take something positive from this. We feel that he was sent to us for a reason and it helps us the think he is looking out for us from above.

Moonbeam - congratulations on your pregnancy. I wish you a happy and healthy pregnancy, with more to follow if you want them!

Oh Claire I'm so so sorry that this has happened to you. It sounds though like you are a very determined strong person who will get through this awful time. I'm sure that your angel is looking down on you.
Sending you the biggest hug ever.
Helen.xxx

Claire thank you so much for your congrats. I said a wee paryer last night for your wee man, you seem like such a strong person and I really admire you, the best of luck to you what ever you decide to do in the future x

Hi Claire1234

I am so very sorry to hear about your loss. Welcome - and sorry it is under such circumstances. Like the other ladies here, I totally admire your positivity and strength of character.

Glad your hubby is being wonderful and you can look after each other.

Looking forward to chatting.

MrsD

xx

Claire darling i am so sorry for your loss you must be utterly devastated. I hope you will be able to find some peace and that you will go on to have another child x

Hi Claire

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I remember you and although it's lovely to hear from you I'm so sad that it is under these circumstances. You sound as if you and your hb are being incredibly strong. I know it may not help at all, but I have a good friend who had a MC at around the same stage as you and she's gone on to have 2 gorgeous children. She of course has never forgotten her first baby, but time has healed her and made a big difference. I hope so hard that you become a mummy as soon as you are ready. We'll all be here for you.

x

Thank you ladies for your kind words. The kindness of other people has been overwhelming and has really helped my husband and I.

We are having lots of hugs at the moment and supporting each other the best we can. He really is my rock and if I could make him a daddy to just one child (I feel that any more than one at this point feels greedy!) we'd be the proudest parents ever.

I'm waiting for my body to heal and for my blood tests and Consultant's appointments before we start trying for another baby. I'm trying to be positive and making sure we have a good diet and vitamins to make good eggs and sperm. I've decided to stay off alcohol for the time being as i managed 22 weeks without it and don't want it to become a crutch when I am greiving. I'm drinking loads of coffee but can easily stop when i'm ready to start trying again. I just hope it doesn't take me ages to get pregnant as I'm 37 and not as fertile as I was.

Oh Claire, I am so sorry to read this.

You have been so strong so far, and I really hope that things work out for you x

I'm so sorry Clarie, I really am, what an absolutely heartbreaking experience you've had and I'm sorry you've gone through it.

There are no words to explain, justify or make sense of such a tragedy so I won't try, I just wanted to congratulate you on your strength and wish you and your husband all the best and lots of luck for the future.

I really hope your journey into parenthood gets much easier from this point and that all your hopes and dreams become a reality.

Love, OP xx

Clarie I am sorry to hear about your loss. From reading your words I am in no doubt that you will be a wonderful mummy very, very soon. The fact you want to help others out of something so rotten happening to you is very inspirational indeed. XXXX

Thanks for your kind words, it really does help me.

The days are passing so slowly at the moment and i feel like life is on hold until I find out what is wrong with me. I guess a lot of you will identify with that too.

I sincerely hope that we can force the doctors to put us all right.

Trying to think positive thoughts!

Hi hun,

I am so sorry to hear whats happened. I had an ectopic last year and when it happened I just wanted to crawl into bed and be left alone - I can't imagine what it must be like for you.

I have heard that once you have been pregnant it's easier to concieve because your body is better prepared - so I hope things work out for you and you get pg soon.

Take care and if you ever need to talk about it - everyone here won't mind one bit.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXx

Thanks Mummywannabe,

I'm goind to see my Consultand on 22nd July, sooner than i thought. Hopefully he'll give me the all clear to start TTC again. Not sure how long it'll take for pregnancy hormones to leave my body this time so I don't feel under pressure for a couple of months as my poor body will take a bit of time to recover and ovulate.

Hope to be posting good news soon!

I am so so sorry to hear your sad news Claire, i dont know what to say as nothing can help, im just sending you and your OH hugs. xxxxxx

Hi hun,

Not sure if this helps or not - but I was given an injection to get rid of the pregnancy, it took 10 days for me to pass the lining of the womb as one lump, it took about 7 weeks for the HCG hormone to leave my body - and about 8 or 9 in total weeks for me to stop bleeding! But I think the docs said I was a bad case. So hopefully you shouldn't be too long getting your body back to normal!

Also - my mum and a few of my friends managed to fall pg 3 months after having a baby - nightmare to kids that close I suppose - but think it's because your body is all geared up and ready to go!

Hope your appointment goes well hun - let us know how you get on!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX