my waters broke when I was in labour with Charlie - and I had loads of water!!! I insisted I needed a wee so walked all the way down to the toilets leaving a trail of water after me.. did a tiny wee on the toilet pot and walked all the way back lol leaving another trail of water all the way back up the coridoor back to my bed!!!

LOL these are funny!!! I have a couple of mad moments while having babies

With no 1 the mw's weer saying how lovely i was because i kept telling oh how much i loved him and that this was the most wonderful experience ever ......................... 21 hours later i was talking a little differently!!!! Son eventually emerged and i had a whole host of stitches so had legs in stirrups for them to stitch me up at just gone midnight my hubby said oh look its the 21st now - happy birthday hunni at which point a head peeped up between my legs and also wished me a happy birthday!!!

With no 2 a dr was called in to give me an internal soon after id had a shot of pethidine i told him he looked lovely and how lucky was he that his eyes matched the colour of his gown, when he put his gloves on i exclaimed oh thank god youve lovely long fingers too!!!!

With no 3 i remember getting to a certain point and then screaming for my handbag, i then rifled through it and started waving my credit card araound offereing anyone as much money as they liked but just to get the thing out of me now!!!!!

with no 4 the Mw said one more push and baby will be out, both my mum n hubby craned forward to look but i put them both in a head lock as i pushed and they never got to see son delivered!!!

Whoops!!!

My oh says i was the nicest person ever in labour and would love fo rme to be in labour all the time lol.
Once my waters had been broken i stood in the bath tub in my room and was chatting to everyone and anyone who would talk to me. at one point there were 3 midwives, 2 doctors my dad and oh all in the bathroom as my waters gushed out,lol.x

The doctors/consultants came in while i was in labour and asked how i was doing i couldn't believe it as my contractions were pretty much on top of each other and i was wanting to push but not allowed so a pretty daft question really but funny when i think about it now

hope they dont ask daft questions this time as i got two to push out this time if im allowed a natural birth

MummyD

[Modified by: MummyDubeXxX on June 27, 2009 10:39 PM]

With my first baby I had a spinal and labour failed to progress. I wanted some water and they only had strawberry flavour in the machine. When they decided that I was to have an emergency section I had just drank a load of water and when they topped my spinal up it made me throw up. All the staff that came in kept saying what a lovely smell of strawberries there was in the room and I was thinking oh god thats my puke! I was quite out of it after my section but remember telling the midwive a long story about taking my suitcase on holiday with only shoes and make up in it, and I had to put all my clothes in Bens case as nothing else would fit in. Poor woman - I was going on and on! With my second the surgeon came in to get the consent form for the section signed when I was on the g&a and I couldnt stop laughing. All the staff were laughing at me as they asked me to move and I said not at the moment thank you. They said but you need to go to theater, were not operating here. Also the bloke that was sat with me talking me through the op was so nice, but very gay, but I was lusting after him the whole way through. He was stroking my hair and I was in love for them 15 minutes!!

These have had me seriously laughing out loud... but I have a feeling most of it is nervous laughter!!! One of my biggest worries about labour is not being in control and saying/doing something stupid and these stories are just confirming that that's quite likely!

x 29+6

OMG, these are hilarious! :lol:
M x
20+1

The gas and air doesn't work on me so I had none of these experiences with it and just didn't bother with it with my second and just had the pethadine.

I think the funniest thing about my labour was with my son when I was finally allowed in the shower and it was the only thing relieving my pain and my obgyn came in and asked if I wanted to get out of the shower to which I answered in a very scary way NO! He looked at my partner and said "right we will leave her there then shall we". To which my partner gave a knowing nod lol. I must have been quite a scary site.

Gas & air does strange things. I thought I was in space & felt like a Thunderbird puppet. I felt like two people in one, like I was being overtaken by the person on g&a.

I got really angry about blackcurrant squash, as the smell made me feel sick. I kept saying to my partner, "Who put 'beana' in my water? Did you? Get rid of it? I don't want 'beana'. Tell them I don't want 'beana'. Appently I ranted for a bit.

I nearly had my son down the loo. Said to my MW, "I don't want him in here?" but wouldn't leave. So my son was born in a bathroom.

OMG absolutly hilarious! Laugh out loud funny!

Amy
14+4

I've been trying not to laugh out loud in the office!! lol So funny!

C xxx
15+6

While on the wonderful gas and air! I kept telling everyone I feel like I need to poo, but obviously it was the head crowning! And told my hubby that I felt like I was sat in the grass at the park, looking out at the bay, my hubby thought I said I was at Thorpe Park and couldn't figure out what I was going on about! And the only time I swore during the whole labour was to tell my hubby the gas and air was f***ing good! Oh ans then 3 minutes after I had my son, I told everyone I want another baby, I must have been on the gas and air still!

Ali 25+2 x

These are so funny and are really cheering me up!!! Any more?

with baby no 1 my midwife was evil and wouldnt believe i was in pain n tried to take gas n air away so i locked my self in the toilet!!!

baby no 2 i said owww and got my head bitten off for moaning however when 10lb 11n ahalf mai appeared the mw in question hugged me n said i should have thrown in several swear words as not only was she big she was back to back owwww

baby no 3
throwing up blood over hubbies england top which he had been refusing to throw away even tho it was 5 yrs out of date n made him look like he had man boobies!!!!
then listening to my ipod n reading whilst the contractions were off the chart my mw kept saying oh my god ur like she ra or something lol!!!
then saying give her to me as baby was born only for oh to say ummm lolls babe thats the funniest looking girl ive ever seen!!! blinking mws told me deffinately a girl. hahahaa luckily i just fell in love with him xxxxxx

Bump! I want more of these, humour takes the scary prospect of labour away!! lol xxx

How funny are some of these ha ha ha
I had a very short labour with my second child and my waters didnt brake right until the end. I started to push and my oh had his head firmly placed between my legs to see the first signs of the baby coming, thankfully the mw suggested he move as my waters hadnt gone yet, a few second later the room turned into alien movie. With the next push they broke and hit the wall about 4 foot away, leaving not only my oh in total shock but even the midwife look in total disbelief.

beck x x

These are great, very funny and I'm relieved it wasn't just me

I don't have many from SBJr's birth cos I was so drugged I was barely conscious and barely remember it.

TJ's however...quite a few

1) MW broke my waters and then left us for a bit to see what happened. We had a puzzle book with us so told Takers to read out some quizzes. He chose one of those missing links puzzles. You have 3 words and need to find another word that joins them. Anyhoo - I hadn't had any contractions and he read one out just as a contraction started. I knew the answer but couldn't speak! He just sat there tapping the pen on his chin thinking and I wanted to shout at him! He moved on to the next one and when the contraction passed I just shouted out "table!"

2) Gas and air...fab stuff! MW gave it to me and I just giggled. Takers said "oh has it passed?" and I laughed "no, it's f***ing agony" whilst smiling away!

3) Watch out for the ducks!! Apparently I kept talking about the ducks in the room. Takers nipped to the loo and I told him to make sure he didn't splash the ducks MW took the g&a away from me 1.5hrs before TJ was born - she reckoned she needed me with her rather than the ducks

4) I was on the drip and the contractions came thick and fast. The monitor was saying they were only hitting 7% but they flipping weren't! I also shouted that the monitor was lying! MW adjusted it and it leapt up to 47%...the look on Takers face was fab! He went very pale

5) I begged and begged for pain relief. I told Takers that under NO circumstances was I to have pethidine. The anethesatist (so can't spell that!) was in theatre so I couldn't have an epidural. When mw said he was unavailable I said "is he needed there then?", she smiled and said "he has a patient on the table"...hmmm "but is he REALLY needed? Is it vital?" Apparently he was So I asked for pethidine and Takers said no. I asked again and he said "you told me to say no" and I shouted "I don't f***ing care what I told you then!" The mw wouldn't give it to me though cos I reacted so badly last time - I am so pleased they both stuck to their guns and ignored me, wasn't at the time though.

6) TJ was born at 6.33pm. I asked if I could go home at 6.42pm

wen i had my son he was in the wrong position to come out so it was taking ages so m/w suggested i get on my hands and knees and hang over the front of the bed and she lifted the bed up so i was about 4 foot in the air, then i decided i needed a wee and before they had time to lower the bed i dived off and had 1 leg on the floor and 1 on the bed with the door wide open flashing the world!! lmao!! not funny at the time but now i can look bk and laugh!! hehe x

with my first i had pethadine and reacted badley, i was screaming the place down and told the Drs that it was MY body and to leave me alone!!

With my 3rd baby i had ordered a curry to try and get things moving the door went so i went to pay the man opened the door and had a HUGE contraction the look on the mans face was priceless. I kept phoning the labour word who said stay at home you will be ages yet but i knew it was going to be quick by how strong the contractions were and after 2 more calls the mw said well come in but we will probabley send you home again when i got there she took one look at me and said omg get her in the room i had hubby trying to pull of one boot and the mw trying to pull off the othere just as i got on the bed my waters shot accross the room and just missed the mw who was frantically trying to get her gloves on just as my ds shot out on the bed lol my labour was 45mins from start to finish and as i sat there in shock holding my soon i looked up at the mw and said hello nice to meet you lol.

omg! i have been crying with laughter! i hope i end up having something funny to look back on! :lol::lol: