Hi girls, does anyone have any funny moments from labour to share? Come on let's cheer ourselves up. x

I refused to take my socks off the whole way through. They were my security blanket lol.
I also managed to headbut oh whilst pushing oopsie lol

When the midwife told me "I can see the head - the baby will be here this push or the next" and I said in a stage-whisper to DH, "is she telling the truth or lying?" - like she coudn't hear me!

Also when I passed out after being moved from the delivery suite and came round to find lots of people crowded round me shouting my name - I opened one eye, clocked the extremely sexy doctor who I'd last seen when I came in and was only 3cm dilated, pointed at him, giggled like a schoolgirl and said, "ooh, I remember YOU!"

Feel obliged to point out these were only funny in retrospect - at the time I wasn't really finding much funny at all!

My midwife said I was the most polite labouring lady she had ever had whilst speaking to her and that I was totally opposite with my hubby!

I blamed the gas and air and that my mum always told me to be polite to people helping you x x x

as i was pushing Evie out, i suddenly turned to my hubby and shouted really loudly 'OH MY GOD IT FEELS AS THO I HAVE 100 FISTS SHOVED UP MY ****' unknown to me the anethestist had popped in to see if i was ok and dh said he was just laughing in the back ground- brilliant!

xxxxx

well i was induced in the end and put on a drip, my consultant came in at the start and asked if ihad any contracttions to which i reolied no with a smile on my face drinking tea,,,, he came back in whikst i was sqirming on the bed breaking dh's hand with the gas and air in my mouth eyes closed trying to get through a bad contraction and came and asked me if i was having goodcontractions!!! to which i shouted really loud 'is he having a f***ing laugh! the mw's apologised on my behalf,,, anyway he was calle din to try to deliver my reatined placenta which was agony btw and when it was over i was relieved and i just said 'thank you soooooo much and i apologise for earlier' he said no its ok it was a silly question to ask!!! how emabarrasssing on both sides lol xx

I was VERY polite the whole way thru the labour. Midwives thought it was funny. I kept saying 'Please can I push now?' 'Do I have to do any more pushes?' and 'I can't get three pushes out, I'm so so sorry'. Hubby thinks it's hilarious now when we look back at it.

xx

When i was in labour with my dd, i had a nice mw for a couple of hours before they changed over. Whilst on the gas and air i was telling hubby to get the paper out of the filing cabinet, apparently him and mw found it hilarious coz nobody knew what i was going on about including me and i got really cross with him coz he didn't know. lol

Apparently when the head crowned, I refused to push until they told me what colour hair the baby had! According to OH, I threatened to go to sleep and make them wait for the baby unless they told me.

That gas & air sure does strange things.... but I wouldn't have been without it!

Hannah xx

i remeber asking for something to be sick in and the midwife said ''hang on a minute were busy'' so looked at the floor and the bed and thought, right what do i be sick on?? i chose the bed!!

also when i was being sick one time, i cried ''i think ive wet my self!'' ! midwife looked and it was my waters.

in the the throws of pushing ialso shouted, ''get this f**king thing out of me!!!'' and when the midwife said ''ur doing really well'', i replied with ''yea, i know!''

the first three things said when my LO was born was - she is a girl isnt she, shes beautiful and ..... Did i poo??!!!

lol!

xx

hehe these are funny!

I was constantly apologising for pooing even though i never pooed once

When they gave me the pethadine and it kicked in i said to Lee that i better go to hospital now as i think im in labour I then started telling Bitzie (my dog) to stop licking my feet as it was annoying me

I came round after an hour or so and the midwife got me an ice lolly as my mouth was dry from the gas and air.. Lee said i was going mmmmmmmm mmmmmmmm oh thats so good mmmmmm he said i sounded like a 2 year old having a ice lolly for the first time lol. xx

These are brilliant!

I remember the only time I raised my voice was to shout out to my mum "Oh my God, it's coming out of my bum, really it is!!!" xxx

Cat 34 weeks today

Hehe! These are great stories girls...so funny :D
xxx
33+5

I was induced and took a while to get going. On the ward when they examined me and said I was 7cm the first words out my mouth were "that means I can have an epidural now".

I also kept dehooking myself from the fetal heart rate monitor to go to the toilet, even though the midwife kept insisting I didnt need it was the baby I could feel (she was right).

On the way up to the labour ward I told everyone i saw that I was getting an epidural, including random people in the lift and when I got there and was told the anaethatist wa sin theatre I announced he could just get his butt out and go back after I had my epidural (never got one was too far along).

I was also more concerned with pooing than pushing and was in trouble for stopping pushing cause I could feel poo coming out.

gate crashing here but this is so funny,

When I was have my dd I had the gas and air. I was well gone and i grabbed the midwife by the arm and said to her that the gas and air was brilliant i felt drunk the way you do when you wear high heels!!! I also asked hubby to get me my washing basket lol

[Modified by: piper06 on June 27, 2009 12:53 PM]

I kept telling the MW I was pushing but she didn't believe me as I was out of it on the pethedine and when she finally believed me a look of horror came over her face and she rushed me into a wheelchair and into the lift to go downstairs to the labour suite. I remember her saying to the nurse something which I didn't understand and when I asked her to explain she said it meant my baby was coming out now - I said something like "oh thank god!" and then thought about what she's said,cried, and started shouting that I couldn't have my baby in a lift like the woman on Holby City!

I also remember being wheeled into the delivery suite and a woman in labour was at the door and had to move quickly out the way as Nate's head was crowning and there was me crying and half-sitting, half-standing in the wheelchair, poor girl! I saw her the next day and apologised if I'd scared her and she said she's been fine up until that point! I felt terrible!
Kathryn xx

1) I refused to do anything the MW asked unless she actually told me to do it (eg: Do you want to turn over? No! You need to turn over! OK!!! I was obviously being stubborn!

2) The MW told me to feel the baby's head as she was crowning, when I did all I could say was ''uuurgh!''

3) Was given a bed pan as was convinced I need to poo! I didn't so she took it away. I then started pushing to get lo out and apparantly I did poo then!

4) Telling the MW ''I told you so'' after I had only had gas and air after being induced and she had told me I would definitely need an epidural!

5) Whilst using G & A, the MW asked me if I was having a contraction (I wasn't) and I said Yes! She then asked me again and I said No like a naughty schoolgirl who had been caught doing something wrong! She then told me to take the gas and air out as I wasn't supposed to use it between contractions - I did and was acting really sheepish lol :)

I told my hubby I was going to shove something up his **** if he rubbed my lower back once more! I remember going to the loo just before I had her and had a contraction on the loo and shouting to rob I didnt want to get off the loo, apparently I insisted I was having the baby there!
I also refused to obey the MW, she kept asking me to turn over and I wouldnt and I kept shouting that the monitor monitioring the contractions was lieing as it wasnt picking them up properly.
xxx

well while i was delivering my last baby my other half and midwife were watching foxes out the window and i was just left to get on with the contractions, and then i said this babies coming now the midwife said dont be silly you will be fine she slowly walked to the bed and just caught baby just in time and then had the cheek to turn to me and say you could of let me put my gloves on lol, maybe she will liten in future instead of watching foxes lol

after i had been given an epidural i was asked to put my legs in the stirrups!! HA like that was gonna happen! i had my oh and a midwife on my left leg and my mum and another midwife lifting my right leg. My mum couldnt do anything for laughing! thank god i wasnt in pain and could laugh along too!!

ha ha these are so funny

1 . when I went into labour my contractions were2 mins apart so I went to hospital I was 6cm dilated and I proudly said to anyone that would listen that women were wusses and this wasa bloody poece of cake! Soon changed my tune layer though lol

I through the flannel in temper at my dh as he kept wetting my head and I didnt want to be wet and shouted at him to **** off out my sight

I then told my mom I was going home as I just couldnt do this!

I went mad at a poor student midwife as I wasnt allowed pain releif I said I was complaining to the organ grinder when this baby s out as I was sick of dealing with monkeys!

I was terrible towards the end but golden for thefirst 12 hours or so lol