im 6 months pregnant and am currently having real problems with my ex's mother. As soon as she found out, the spare room was turn to a nursey and has pretty much convinced her son that it is his god given right to have this baby staying over at weekends from birth. I dont know the family and he is very very immature and dont trust him, My problem is, is that when i am ready to leave him with my baby i want to feel safe that his son will be looked after by him and not everyone else in his family. Not only that but his mother keeps "suggesting" things to him like the surname, i have clearly told him that the baby will be under my surname but each time he visits hes comes up with another one of mummys great "suggestions" im at my wits end and feel like im being suffocated by them. Please help

xx

I had the same problem with my ex. We were together for almost 4 years and he now lives with his 2 best mates and wanted unsupervised access. One day i had had enough of his bullying and went round to his parents at 25 weeks pregnant and sat them down and told them straight that he would NOT be having access on his own. He was and still is nowhere near capable of having a baby on his own. We were on and off til i was 38 weeks pregnant but he was never supportive and only ever seemed to be interested in the physical side of a relationship during my pregnancy.

Hes since proved me right as hes buggered off and is denying our daughter is even his since meeting someone else.

Tell them from the off what the situation is and they should hopefully accept it by the time the baby is actually born xxx

hiya, thanks so much for the reply. He's quite easy to mould to my ways of thinking because he's so immature, its just the mother thats the problem and hes just following suit. His main reason for being so excited is so that "he can have a massive party when the baby is born" hes expecting me to let him take my baby to this party where everyone will be drinking and being noisy and he's banking on having this party the weekend after baby is born. He talks about baby likes its a doll to be pass around. Im just beginning to laugh about it at the moment. His interest comes in fits and starts anyway. Just feel like i need some support from others, other than my family xx

Hi
I would just definately put your foot down from the start and tell them how it will be. If they dont like it, tough!
It is your child and although yes the dad has a right to see his child, doesnt mean it should be all under his and his mothers terms!
You do what is best for you and lo and dont let them get there own way even once as it will only get more difficult, if they know from the start what's what then you should be ok!
Good luck, i am single mummy and lo used to spend one night every weekend at her dads but since i moved this hasnt happened and i am trying to get it sorted again! I can trust lo with him, i do worry though sometimes as he used to lie to me so much i wonder what he is like with our daughter xx