hi girls.

My cousin is going through her first cycle of IVF/ICSI and had her first embryo put back 2 weeks ago today. She also had 6 "snow babies" put in the freezer.

anyway - over the weekend she started spotting (a little bit of brown blood) and did a pregnancy test (BFN) and has convinced herself that it hasn't worked. Is it possible that the spotting was just implantation? She said that the BFN is a bad sign, because of all the hormones she is on (more likely to get a false positive than false negative) even though she tested a few days early. Is this true? Could a BFN turn into a BFP?

Obviously she is devastated that it hasn't worked - and i don't know whether I should be encouraging her to be positive and not give up hope yet, or whether I should just let her cry and grieve for now and then focus on the next one. Does anyone have any advice on how I can support her?

I feel so useless, this last couple of weeks have been so tough on her, and there is nothing anyone can do to help.

Anyway - lots of sticky baby dust to all of you. I will keep my fingers and toes crossed for you all! I don't know how you all do it - IVF is such a killer! Lots of luck.

Nx

hi hon, im sorry ot hear of your cousins story. maybe you should get her in touch with all of us on here, that way you can support (hope that made sense)
i would suggest positivity, i dont mean to sound rude but why focus on somethnig bad when you dont even know if its right. id be positive and wait untill a definate answer is given. i know its hard but it will be harder for your cousin if she is convinced it is bad news to wait until sahe knows for definate .

hope that helps, if not then im extremely sorry xxxx
thinking of you both

Thank you very much for your reply!

That is pretty much what I thought (no point getting upset until you know for sure, after all) but It's so hard knowing what to do for the best.

This month has been so hard on her - I just want to make it a bit easier - but I am soworried about saying the wrong thing and making it all worse!

Does it get easier, the more goes you have? or will it always be this difficult for her!?

Hi Nikkiandneil,

I can completely sympathise with what your cousin is going through, we just found out on monday our first cycle of icsi didn't work and its heartbreaking :-( But like Mrs E said i would encourage her to stay positive until she knows for sure. I think its a good idea to get her to join up to this site as all the girls are so supportive and as some of us are going through or have already been through the same thing its nice to have people to 'talk' to that know exctly what its like. I can talk to my oh obviously and my mum/sister but never feel that they really understand as they haven't been through it .

Wishing her all the luck :-) When is she due to go to the clinic for the test day or is she doing it at home?

xxx