to love both of your children the same amount? I have a 2 /12 year old and a 5 month old and I feel so much more towards my 5 month old - the guilt is immense.
I can't tell you why I feel like this but I do and it is starting to affect my relationship with my 2 year old now - I feel like such a terrible mother.

Hi, this is a tricky one isn't it - we'd like to automatically feel the same for our children, but I think that's something that comes with time tbh. I have Jacob who's 2 years 3 months, and Noah who's 5 months. I was the other way round - it took me a while to start to feel the same for Noah as I do for Jacob. Hard to admit to, but I think it's important to be honest and open and share our experiences to help others. As he's got older and I've got to know him more and his cheeky little personality is coming out, things have got a lot easier. Of course I loved Noah when he was born, but for me I need to get to really know my baby to be able to feel the full bond.

Maybe in your case it's because your baby is so much more helpless and depends on you more, so you feel more protective? I'm sure many people must feel this way, it's just a hard thing to be open about I guess.

As you're feeling bad maybe you could talk to your health visitor? I spoke to mine about my feelings towards Noah, and she was very helpful. I'm sure hv's must come across many mothers in our situations. Please don't be hard on yourself, you're not a terrible mother at all xx

Hi I'd agree with niblet it's probably because you lo is far more needy and sleeps whereas your toddler will be demanding a lot of attention ATM when I'd imagine you're low on the energy levels to be giving it.
I don't think it's a qn of loving one more than the other it's just about enjoying them at a certain point more than the other eg I love my parents but not necessarily always at the same time, LOL. As they grow I'd imagine you'll find there are parts of each childs personality that you get on with better than the other, I just think you shouldn't confuse that with loving one more than the other .... Hope that makes sense :)

hiya i know exactly what u mean ,but i felt the other way round ,the love for my ds was immense ,i cant explain it in any other way apart from i was obsessed with him!! i didnt let anyone else do anything for him,at one point id convinced myself he was going to die whereas with dd i am much more laid back ,i let others look after her ,i dont pick her up if she is just whining ,does this mean i dont love her as much??? i have questioned it myself lots of times ,i think i do love them both the same just im normal with dd not obsessed ....does that make sense???

also the 1st born becomes harder when baby arrives as they crave attention ,i find this with ds but then when i discipline him i feel guilty im sure u love them both the same u just have to do more for the baby as there helpless xxxxxxxxx

I can understand and my theory is that with my first i was so busy trying to firgure out what to do, and follow a routine and be super mum that i forgot to bond with him/ Dont get me wrong i love him dearly but i feel different towards my 2nd. Im close to him and think i was more relaxed and was able to enjoy him being a baby without the stress.

I remember being asked if i was enjoying being a mum with my first when he was a few weeks old, and i couldnt say enjoyment was a word i would have used. With my 2nd though i did enjoy every min and i think that makes a difference

Gemm x
2+10 wks

Love is a strange thing. I sometimes look at one of my LO's and think i love them more than anything in the world including my other kids then one of the others will do something and i think no i love them the most! then they will do some thing naughty and i could give them away!! LOL!!
;0) xx