Hi

I went to a wedding yesterday and saw a lot of my hubby's family there. They were all cooing over my lo who is nearly 4 1/2 months and saying how big he is, how lovely he is etc. A fair few of my hubby's female relatives started asking about how he's going with feeding, how often and how much and if he's sleeping through. I replied that he feeds around every 2 -3 hours and that I didn't know how much he has at each feed as I am BF him and that he doesn't sleep through, he generally goes 3-4 hours through the night.

They all seemed a bit shocked that I am still BF him which surprised me, lt's ike they thought he was too old now or it's something you only do for the first few weeks (no offence intended to anyone who did stop after a short time - I just think that if it's going well then there's no reason for me personally to stop). One even went so far as to say that he's a big baby and maybe he'd go longer between feeds and sleep through better on formula! Who asked for her opinion?!! Not me!! He is big yes, he's 19 weeks tomorrow and was 14lb 5oz 3 weeks ago but for now I am prefectly sure that my BM is satisfying him as he is a happy, contented, very smiley baby who is thriving so why she thought I would just stop and take her advice I have no idea!!

Has anyone else had this reaction from people? I just thought that it was really unsupportive of them and it made me a bit mad with them. Why wouldn't I still be feeding him if I can, he's only 4 months old?

xx

I think it's really common for a lot of people to assume that babies that don't sleep through must be hungry. I don't think it's anti bf or anything I just think there is a lot of info about the pros and cons of bf and ff that gets misunderstood. my sister is bf her 6 month old who is a really healthy weight and she has gone from sleeping through from early on, to being unsettled and wanting to feed through the night, but she's just got her first 2 teeth which counts for a lot of it as she is def not hungry. we all know that no 2 babies are the same bf or ff.

Oh god don't even get me started! My lo is only 2 weeks old, and i'm already getting comments from the MIL about how its about time i stopped. She thinks its selfish to breastfeed as nobody else gets a turn feeding the baby (i do express 1 bottle a day for OH to feed her, but there's no way she's getting the privelige of feeding my baby!) and seems to think that its something you only really need to do for a few days then its natural to switch to formula. Thats fine, if thats what i wanted to do, but its not! I'm really enjoying feeding my baby, and she is happy and content, so why on earth would i stop?? Sorry to hijack yyour post there, just its been a really sore subject for me! Just ignore them hun, and keep on doing what makes you and your lo happy xxx

I just wish some people would keep their opinions to themselves as life is hard enough as it is. Some people are so ignorant. Sorry Im going off on one, I get this sometimes from my family, like Im meant to feel guilty that I have to justify my actions sometimes. Anyway's lo's weight gain is more than good enough to show that she is thriving.

Oh and Kelly i meant to say your lo looks absolutely gorgeous in that pic!

Aw, thanks Lynz! That's actually the middle one, he's 18 months old, he was about 10 months in the picture. He's a little rascal, such hard work chasing around after him and his older brother who is 3 1/2.

I know what you mean about people thinking it's selfish to BF too, even my mum has commented that "he should be on a bottle so that people can help". I can see what she means about the help, the other 2 need entertaining whilst I feed the baby, but she could entertain them whilst I feed, it shouldn't have to be that she feeds the baby and I look after the other 2. I think what she means is that she wants to feed him!

thats the prob with my MIL! She keeps making snidey comments about how she cant wait to feed and wind her, and how its not fair, blah blah blah, but all its done is make me more determined to keep BF going until she's 12!!!! (ok, not quite 12, but y'know) I am getting better at moving around whilst feeding her now, just this morning i managed to get the boys clothes out of their wardrobes and bring them downstairs with Bella happily attached! xxxx

I wish people would keep their opinions to themselves. I breastfed my son for a year and people were horrified when I told them I was still feeding him myself. They kept saying 'oh isn't it about time he had a bottle' etc etc etc!!! Excuse me, he's my son and I'll keep giving him breatmilk for as long as I wasnt to.
People seem to have an obsession with stopping breastfeeding, I don't know why cos ITS THE MOST NATURAL THING IN THE WORLD
Keep going hun, you have my support to keep going for as long as you both want to xxxxx

Lu007 I couldnt agree more! I'm still bf at 16 months and (although I am cutting down and trying to stop now) I wouldn't like other people commenting on it....x

Good for you mimsywoowoo!! I wish I could have carried on for longer but my milk had more or less dried up!

Thanks Lu007, I'm not sure she actually gets that much bm anymore! She drinks nicely from a cup aswell, so I think it may just be a comfort thing! xx

Hi hope you don't mind me gatecrashing..... its really interesting to read this post......i ff my baby but it seems that whatever we do people seem to think that they can tell us how to feed our lo's. I have had people call me selfish for ff (people i don't even know!! ). Personally i can't see how bf is selfish as you are feeding your lo. As for those that think that formula means you get loads of sleep RUBBISH! my 3mth lo goes about 4hr at most at night so even if your were to swap (not that i am in any way saying that you should) then you still may not get any more rest. I thought the guidelines were that if you breast feed (and can take to it) then 6mths is normally average so i cant see why at 4 1/2 mths people were surprised you were still feeding.
I say if you enjoy feeding your lo then go for it ! However i think I would probably double take if i saw a 12yr being bf lynz81 lol!!! (or ff!!!!)

Oh yes I have had this too!

Comments such as "Its a shame you are breastfeeding as no-one can help you" Oh so no-one can wind baby, bath him, cuddle him, take him for a walk etc etc???

I completely agree Dinks, feeding is not the only way other people can help and bond with the baby. Some people make me mad!!!!

Lynz_81 - My baby is due in September and i'm hoping to breastfeed but already my MIL has said but "DH won't be able to feed the baby if your doing it all how selfish!!!!" I was going to express bottles for the nightfeeds as DH has already said he would love to do the night feeds (he is an angel!!). I'm sure it'll be the first comment of many that i will get from various people!!
It our choice ladies how we feed our lo's let people comment i say!
xx
Baby_Princess

[Modified by: Baby_Princess on May 13, 2009 08:54 AM]

Hi there

well my lo was 10lb 8oz when he was born & my in-laws all harped on about how he'd need a top up bottle as he was so big, yeah right well at 14wk he was just under 18lb & he is totally BF I am really happy to carry on feeding him & he is a happy boy, yes he still wakes in the night, in fact he now wakes twice which is a real drain but who am I to say that would stop if he had formula or baby rice

I say go with what feels right & ignore other peoples ignorant comments!!

Sarah
xxx

i've had comments too from some family members who think its not fair for dad to not be able to feed! luckily my dh is really pro bf and wouldnt dream of asking me if he could give lo a bottle. this family member often brings this up, i've no idea why he is so bothered about my dh not having fed our baby???? also people do seem to ask me when i'm going to stop, all the time! my sis is always saying- why dont yo start giving her a bottle to help her sleep through? aarrrgh

I wish I could have breastfed longer. You get a different reaction here. You get dirty looks if you formula feed and get told alot how breastmilk is much better, which I totally agree but sometimes you just can't. If things were different with my lo I would be still breastfeeding.

I didnt see this the first time it came up. I went to baby group yesterday and it would appear that there are now only 2 people breastfeeding (including me). The group is a fair size and there were a couple of other people bfing before but they have gradually given up. They said they want their body back or its too inconveniant. I just feel a bit confused at the mo. I love breastfeeding its so easy and if my lo gets too upset I can settle him really easily by feeding him! Problem is when people I know mention bfing they normally mention it in a bad light. In my opinion bfing is the best for my baby so why do I feel like people are putting me down? Im now trying to express 2times every day - night and morning - so that I can give my lo a bottle when Im out and about.

I tried to speak to my OH about it last night and he said that it will look odd if Im still bfing a 1 yr old Im not going to give up but Im so fed up of people expecting me to put my lo onto ff when hes 6months old. I had really bad time with my skin when I was little and Im convinced it was cause I was ff. I really dont want my lo to have the same problems.

Sorry rant over

WTF is wrong with these people, aaaaarrrrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhhhhh!!!! Keep their bloody stupid opinions to their selves!!

I breastfed my 1st dd til she was 15mths because she was allergic to every other milk ever made and I'm successfully feeding my 22wk old prem baby now with not the slightest intention of giving up for months!!
My MIL goes on about bf like its something to be ashamed of!
My response should be something like " Did you try to bf and failed or is there another reason for your resentment to your grandchildren having the best start in life??!"

I hate the fact that people think they have a right to even comment on something so personal anyway, no matter who they are!!!
I'll shut up now because I could rant about this forever

Stick to bf for as long as you can/want ladies
Stuff all the opinions xx

yes i am with everyone. Usually MIL want to feed baby themselves. Well i think if they want to that bad they should have their own baby. They had their chance before now its yours and you dont get a 2nd go at this one so keep feeding to what you want. I found even if they dont sleep through they are more settled even if you need to feed. I am just dropping the odd feed now but most of it natural with weaning and 1 bottle in afternoon but thats because of going back to work the nursery need to be able to do it.
Why is it the MIL not your own mom?
If you want to feed a baby then have one, if not then leave the moms to do their own thing.