its been 8 monhts since the birth, and have just been doagnosed. i was fine at first, ridiculously happy, but ive been getting more and more stressed, crying more and being awful to oh. im only happy when im with my lo, when he goes to bed i just kinda flop :(

my gp has put me on dosulepin, and i have to see him again in 2 wks so he can keep an eye on me,

i cant beleive its got me now, really thought was in the clear cos i was so worried about getting pnd before the birth.

gp said its a delayed reaction to the stress of the pregnancy (spd and falling due to bp), and the stress of the bith - lo was stuck, had emerg cs and then he got taken away from me the morning after he was born and kept in scbu for 9 horrible days. it was awful, i cant bear anyone to take him out of my sight now

dont know why im posting really, just wanted to get it off my chest i guess. oh is trying but talking to him doesnt help, he has no idea what to say or how to have a conversation with me about anything like this.

ca i ask if anyone reads this, and you had pnd, when did go? how long will this go on for? feel like a total failure. cant tell anyone except my oh and best mate.

:(

Hi, don't think i can help much but didn't want to read and run. i feel terrible for you. my lo was taken away after birth for some tests but it was only for 8 hours so although it was upsetting and stressfull it was nothing like what you went threw. i don't think there is a time on how long it lasts it's a personnal thing. but try to relate to your partner, you don't want to push him away. your health visitor should be able to give you good ways to help with recovery. just remember your not a failure your obviously a loving mum. depression is an illness like any other. it doesn't make you a bad person or mother. hope you feel better soon ;0) x

hi hun,really sorry to hear you feelin so crap but beleive me it does honestly get better.I had pnd too,with my youngest an hes now 16 months old,mine was due to havin spd,it ruined my pregnancy to be truthful.after bailey was born i was a complete mess,crying all the time,felt like everyone was against me and so on.i didnt want to believe that i had pnd even though my health visitor,boyfriend an family were constantly tellin me that they were sure i had it.When bailey turned 12 months and i was still the same mess,if not worse,my relationship with my partner was virtually over,because ide pushed him away an treated him so badly even though he was doin his best to help me.It was effecting my 2 eldest kids,they were afraid to do anything wrong,which sounds like a good thing but it really wasnt as they couldnt talk to me because i got so angry for no reason really.I decided that maybe everyone was right,so i took myself to the docs and was put on the antideppresants called sirtriline.They saved me,after a month or so I was a completely differant person.For a start I was smiling again,laughing,joining in with the normal things familys do,i felt so normal.its been 4 months now since i started the tablets and ive recently come off of them,im nothing like the miserable bugger i was in that first year of me having bailey.You will get better soon im positive of that.just stick to ya course of medication,please dont do wat i did wen i first started taking mine an think that theyre not gunna work coz they will.Ive recently met up with my healthvisitor and she has asked me to be a home help for people with pnd,basically goin round to peoples houses and listening wen they wanna talk,looking after baby wen mum wants to take a bath or just have an hour to herself,and i feel honoured to do this.Life will get better hun,mine has,an i felt exactly how you do now.Keep ya chin up xx

Hi. I've just been diagnosed too, Nathan has just turned one and I thought I was well passed the stage that this could happen.

I actually had a very smooth pregnancy and birth. I cant complain about anything really as I have a good relationship with oh (although not much happening in bed at the mo) and no serious money worries. This has made me feel so guilty as I feel I dont have a right to be so miserable.

I was put on anti-ds but they made me feel sick so I have to go back next week for new ones, likely Prozac. I'm still waiting to see my HV.

Becky25 - I have the same thing with my eldest where she is being reallywell behaved when she recognises I'm "having one". She will even take Nathan away for a bit. It makes me really proud that shes caring but at the same time angry with myself that my 12 year old is having to take this responsibility and also angry with her as she copes with Nathan better than I am at that time - a totally selfish attitude on my part but I understand this is all part of the illness - not me!

Posts like this really help as its so important to know we're not alone in this!

xxxx

Hi Wotastinkybum.

This is the first time iv seen this forum so appologies for the reply being so late. Hope you are now feeling a little better.

I have recently been diagnosed with depression and anxiety, HV is blaming my hormones but no one wants to acknowledge that it could be PND. Maybe I should have said something sooner but that just isnt me.

I have had problems with low mood in the past but have never sought help before (partly because I work in mental health setting). Im used to having periods of low mood but usually they only last for 1-2weeks tops.

I was hoping that it would be my hv who carried out Zackys 8month development check (he was 11mths at the time) as i find her easy to talk to..... but it was 2 people i hadnt met before so didnt say anything. I had been depressed for 3 months by this time.

The next time I had a chance to speak with her was when Zacky had his 12mth jabs, by this time I just broke down and she was that concerned she talked me into speaking with the doctor. SO glad I did. I am on antidepressants and currently trying to complete cognitive behavioural therapy on a website called Moodgym which I find quite good. I have also been away from work sick for 5 weeks now and will probably be signed off for another 4 weeks when i go back on friday.

I too have the tired feelings (but cant sleep), I fight the negative feelings all the time, but the worst for me has been the anxiety and panic attack that can leave me close to fainting. I cant stand the phone ringing and sometimes I cant go out, my social skills and motivation levels are really low. I love Zacky to bits but some times I feel so fraustrated that I dont want to be around him, luckily I have a very supportive mom and dad where i spend all my time when OH is at work. I have also had nights when i find myself having to check LO every 2 hours and I dont know why (and this is not me). Luckily I know Im a good mom and nothing can shake that.

The thing with depression is that it is never a smooth path, there will be peeks and troughs, good days and bad days, but no one should be worried about admitting to having a bad day and not being able to cope with LO, everyone can have days like that even those without PND.

I had a really bad weekend (long story but involves ASDA home delivery, OH being on nights and it being my birthday),which has set me back at least 3 weeks.

Hope I havent bored everyone silly with this essay, but dont want anyone to feel alone in the way they feel with PND. Shame theres not more replies on this forum. Try Moodgym its free and well worth it if you can find the time.

Beck n Zacky.