Hiya everyone! hope ur all ok?

Is it too soon to start again for a baby, i only had a still born nearly 7 weeks ago but i feel so empty. I'm NOT trying to replace my son i love him with all my heart i think about him all the time. but i just feel so down and really want to try again...
Has any one had a still born and fell pregnant quite soon after? or has someone had a baby so soon after their newborn? (hope that makes sense) is my body healed enough?

xxxxx Nikki xxxxx

[Modified by: Nikki & Graham on 18 January 2009 20:34:12 ]

Hi,

Just wanted to say i can relate to you to a certain degree. We lost our daughter at a 1 wk old and although we don't want to replace her in anyway we wanted to try for another baby.
I remember at the time that this happened i was talking to other people that lost their babies and they had all felt the same feeling, so don't feel that it's wrong.
If it's what both you and your partner are happy to do then i would start trying again. You get so ready and prepared for your life to change and it doesn't end up happening the way that you're expecting, you can't but help to want to get their again.
Hope this makes sense and is okay. It's been just over a year that we lost our little girl, can't believe how quick the time has gone, it's really surprising. We are expecting a girl in March and hoping all is going to go well.

Take Care and Good Luck
Becky

hi nikki

i wld say that only u know when ur ready again, and u know ur reasons for it and don't need to justify urself to anyone else. if u and ur OH feel ready to start trying again then go for it. physically tho it might be wise to speak to a gp or mw just to make sure that ur body can cope.

take care

xxx

Hi hon, i am so very sorry to hear about your tragic loss. I agree about speaking to your gp first as i do not know the reason why your baby was still born.

However a very good friend of mine had a still birth(at 36wks) a few years ago,they began to try again after 3 months and concieved on month 6 and went on to have a healthy child-just wanted to give you some hope.

As for being emotionally ready,i think you and you rpartner are the only ones who know that-goodluck.xxx

hiya hun, hope you are ok. I don't think it's too soon personally but only you will know in your heart when you are ready hun. good luck sweetie xx

hi huni i remember u from b4 and my only advice is if it feels right for u and ur oh then so be it .and like u say u can never ever replace your little boy and dont want to, have you spoke to your gp about trying for a lo?there is 11 months between 2 of my children !good luck wiv it all huni!
luv clare

No experience of either but just wanted to say that if you & Graham feel that you are ready then that's all that matters. It isn't possible to replace the darling baby you lost, it would be another baby entirely and would perhaps give you both something positive to focus on.
I think you've been very brave - I've read most of your posts and wish you lots of luck with whatever you decide to do.
xx

hi

you havent been far from my thoughts in these last 7 weeks.

I think only you know whats right for you however do agree with the girls that you need to talk about it with a gp. there wasa girl on here who lost her still born daughter n started ttc 3 months later n fell quickly, you probably have been given all this but S.A.N.D.S provide lots of support and information.

obv im in a totally different place but regards your question (i think i understood it right) we were ttc when lo was 6 weeks so in that way i dont think there is a problem

take care

xxDBxx

Only you and your hubby know when the time is right, listen to yourselves and your heart, you know better than anyone else. Good luck xx

hi nikki , i think u r incredibly brave ...a friend of mine lost a baby at 37 weeks and now had a bouncing 4 year old ,they concieved straight away ...i think only u and graham know when the time is right and if u think its now then go for it.......can i just say u will find that if u do concieve that (i think)u will find ure pregnancy hard once u start feeling movements, i only say this cos my sister lost her daughter at 37 weeks also, 2 years ago and now im pregnant and ive been so over paranoid about movements ive been monitered every week from 30 weeks just to put my mind at rest....u do have a guardian angel now to watch over and take care of u too ...........good luck xxxxxxx

Hey,
Im sorry for your loss.
I personally think that you will know when you are ready, if you keep having little doubts or are still a little unsure maybe you need to give your self a bit more time.
You have been very brave sweetheart and I send you all the best wishes in the world. if you decide to ttc sooner rather than later then go for it thats great but do it when you are completely ready as if you do get pregnant too soon (as i know) things tend to worry you soooo very much more. I know you will worry tons more anyway after the sad time you have been through but I cant stress it enough....ttc when you feel you are completely ready( I wasnt and well lets just say I really wasnt ready.)
sorry to waffel on, im terrible at putting thoughts into words!
Takecare though babe xxxx

Hi Nikki-sending lots of love and really hope you catch again quickly when you do ttc. xxxxx

Hi hun, hope you are doing well :) xx

ive not had experience of this myself but my sisters sister in law had a stillborn baby boy back in july and she found out she was pregnant again 2 1/2 months after she lost him. She wasnt tryin to replace him as he will never be forgotten by anyone but she did feel numb untill she was expecting again.
sorry this isnt much help. but when you are ready to ttc again then you will know xx

sorry i havent been on here for a couple of days - thank you everyone for you replys they've helped alot... me and my oh feel ready to start now well after we've had the meeting about what made him pass away if there is any reason, but i feel like i need to keep everyone happy cos most of my family want me to wait 2 years but i no 100% that its too long to wait!

Another question aswell sorry - ive got the consultant in 2 weeks and i want to ask some questions because i think they could of done alot more - i was nearly 37 weeks when i had the growth scan and my baby was 4 weeks behind (which i think is alot!!) and they booked me in for another one in 2 weeks time and he didnt make it - do u think they could of done more? or has any been induced because your baby's growth was behind if so how far behind? xxxx

sorry i havent been on here for a couple of days - thank you everyone for you replys they've helped alot... me and my oh feel ready to start now well after we've had the meeting about what made him pass away if there is any reason, but i feel like i need to keep everyone happy cos most of my family want me to wait 2 years but i no 100% that its too long to wait!

Another question aswell sorry - ive got the consultant in 2 weeks and i want to ask some questions because i think they could of done alot more - i was nearly 37 weeks when i had the growth scan and my baby was 4 weeks behind (which i think is alot!!) and they booked me in for another one in 2 weeks time and he didnt make it - do u think they could of done more? or has any been induced because your baby's growth was behind if so how far behind? xxxx

O sweety, i dont really think anyone here can answer for sure your question about if they could of done more. yes four weeks is quite a bit but babies can be born in different sizes ect,i think you need to write down all your questions and ask them,if you are not happy with any replies then seak advise. I do think that if they had worries at the growth scan they should/would of induced your baby. I had my baby induced just before 37weeks due to cholestasis, i had 3-4 growth scans and they were a bit all over the place but they didnt use this as a reason to induce. . . i am sorry i cant give you the answers you desperatly need.xxx

Hi Nikki,
so sorry for what happened, its so unfair. My mum had a stillborn and left it a year and then got pregnant again. With all respect to your family, it's really not up to them, its up to you. Why dont you try not thinking about ttc but just not use contraception and see what happens?
My friend had a growth scan at 35 weeks and her baby was alot smaller, they booked her in for an emergency ceaserian right away, the placenta wasnt feeding him enough. I hear so many stories where hospitals could have done alot more but the question is could they? theres no point in saying what if this , what if that, because it wont get you anywhere. I'm sure they did what they thought was right, but they arent right all the time. Good luck with it all. Thinking of you. X

hi nikki , well i think queen bee is right u could right down the questions u want to ask then if u r not happy with the answers seek advice...........my sister lost her daughter at 37 weeks in june 2006....she went for a growth scan on 1st june and they said baby was measuring 2 weeks less and they would re scan her 4 weeks later ......it was also too late!.........they have no reason for why kiera died and even though my sister didnt want a postmortem she had one as she needed answers but they came back inconclusive, the not having a reason often feels just as bad eh ...........my sister blames the hospital as she had been there several times cos her baby movements were slow but they made her feel a nuisence so she didnt go the last time and it was then kiera died................i really hope u can get some answers from them and can move on with your little sunshine watching over u xxxxxxxx

hi hun. ive just looked bk on ur posts and wanted to say how sorry I am to hear of your loss. You seem like a very strong person and If u want to ttc now then I really think you should. Only you and your partner can decide when the time is right. Its nothing to do with other family members. I want to wish you all the best for your future hun. You deserve it. take care xx

Hey hun,
I just wanted to say as others have that its only you two that can decide when you are ready and its none of anyone elses business. Deciding to ttc again is in no way going to replace your little boy or make you love him any less. The only thing i'd say is that if you aren't sure if its the right time then that may mean that you aren't ready yet - although i think you are def right in waiting till after you've seen the consultant.

As zoey said - best to write your questions down so that you don't forget to ask anything that is important to you.

i know my cousin didn't have another baby for a good couple of years but we aren't that close so I don't know if it was deliberate to wait that long or not. I had a mmc at 12 weeks which I know isn't anywhere near as devastating as what you went through and it was about 4 months before we felt like we were ready to try again.

I hope you find the answers you are looking for and wish you all the best in the future
xxx

thanks girlies - the thing that annoys me is when my sister was measuring big by a couple of weeks she was monitored everyday and the midwife turned to her and said u should be more worried if it was measuring small - but i didnt get monitored everyday.. also when i gave birth a doctor had to come in and get the placenta out and he looked at it and it was sooo small and he said it should never of been that small and they can pick that up of scans cant they? xxx

Not sure hon, but it's really important that you do write down every little thing that you want to know, like Zoey suggested. Sometimes you think you know all the things you want answered but when you walk in there your emotions can completely take over and often leave you unable to ask anything. At least if you write it down, you can hand the consultant your list.

Big hugsxx

Hi Nikki,
First i just want to say how sorry i am to hear about your loss and that i no how you are feeling.......i had a stillborn baby girl on christmas day and it was the worst day of our lives...you just never think its going to happen to you its like the whole world just crashes down on you all at once!!!
I no how you feel when you say about wanting to try for another baby i feel the same to me and my oh are going to try once i have had my first period we are just going to see how things go and if it happens then it happens i no it will be a very scary time for us but its what we want more than anything, we didnt feel this way straight away we thought how could we go through all this again its amazing how you change your mind...did you feel this way at all? we are not trying to replace our little angel Daisy that could never be!!!
I hope you are doing ok and gettin through each day i no how hard it is just to get up in the mornin and sort your self out ready for the day ahead but some how we do it and some how we manage to get through.
I wish you and your oh all the best for the future and hope to hear from you real soon!!

Take care Kat xx