Hi
Am only just under 10 weeks preg, but have already seen my MW and talked about birth possibilities.
I told her what had happened - as far as i can remember - with Ollie, and she said it was highly likely they would let me have another one. I told her it was the only way the baby was coming out....

Since then though, people have been asking me about the preg, and saying are you not scared of the birth.. and the convo goes on and then when they find out i'mplanning a section they turn and say "What, not even going to try a natural one this time? It's very fulfilling and rewarding, and I managed bigger babies than Ollie both times...." etc etc

Well, actually, no, I'm not thanks!!! I've tried one before and it didnt work and not that its any of your business but my pelvis is too small to birth naturally (esp as babies on OHs side, and Ollie are so big!) But thanks for making me feel crap about it, again.

Is anyone else planning a c sec this time, and getting comments like these? I'm fed up of them!

xxxx

Hi S.Y I had a VBAC last year but was booked in for a section for most of my pregnancy before changing my mind. The doctor i saw at my 24 week appt looked at me like a was filth because i also at the time "wasnt even going to bother trying" as she put it. Funnily enough, it wasnt her who, the year before went through a 10 hour labour which ended in section with a failed epidural which had to be switched to G.A and baby in scbu for 2 days etc. So I think it is a bloody cheek for anyone to comment on your choice,whether theyve been through it or not. As far as im aware (definately within my local trust) you cannot be refused an elective section if you've had a previous section due to the small but serious risk of scar rupture (which no doubt you already now about). I changed my mind, purely through personal preference, nearer the end of my pregnancy and had a natural birth but ended up with a 3rd degree tear and still have problems now, everyone's so quick to point out the bad points of section but nobody warns you about the risks of natural births, im glad in a way that i had a natural birth but if i could turn back the clock id have had an elective and will have one in future if need be x

Unfortunately people will always voice their opinion no matter how upsetting it can be. Just remember, it is only their opinion and at the end of the day it doesn't count. It's your body, your baby and your choice.

Wishing you health and happiness, take care.

hiya, i agree with pp its nowt to do with anyone else, i had an emergancy with my dd and am booked in for an elective section on monday. no one has said anything like that to me but im sure people have thought it to themselves, but i dont care either way, its nowt to do with them :)

Hi honey, i found once people especially men found out that i had had a section (1st baby) they were like ' o so you didnt give birth properly' wtf???
I too have a narrow pelvis and ruby got stuck even though she wasnt that big(there were a lot of other factors too) but i have been told that if i have another baby(oh and i are ttc2) then i can try for a vbac but they would rather i didnt and i personally would rather not either.
I had such a positive section and a very fast recovery(i was recovered before friends who had had naturals before me)
its personal choice babe and you have to do whats right for you, people always feel they can make comments to pregnant woman and say what they like and it really pee'd me off.

xxx

thanks ladies

I'm certain its a c sec all the way for me this time - nice and relaxed instead of hell on earth. (so i've heard about electives compared to emergency ones)

The risk of scar rupture is worse for me too as I've had an op before the last c sec, so the same scar has been used for the c sec... and will be used again this time...

I had a good recovery from the last one - was out bowling by 7 weeks! and could do almost everything (albeit more slowly) that i was doing before hand.

It just really winds me up when they say things, esp as they all had really easy 4 or 5 hour births.... grr!

I dont think there'll be any wavering on the decision, its not gonna happen any other way. And at least hubby will bak me up 100% on it. (and the MW seems to think its for the best too )

xxx

hey

there was a really interesting/sad post in labour n birth a rew months ago.think it was called elective section my choice? will look for it. neway it concerned women who had been sexually abused in the past so cldnt face going thru a v birth, however consultant said it wasnt a valid reason so she ended up terminating a much wanted baby. i thought it was horrendous, at the end of the day i think peoples situation and feelings need to be taken into account.

on a personal note im glad i tried for a natural with both my labours, even tho they were long, awful n ended up with em c-section i really enjoyed them, think there must be something wrong in my head lol.

if your consultant refuses remember you can always change consultant and if needs be change hospital. good luck getting birth you want xxDBxx

I had an election cs with my 1st as she was breech - docs recommendations - but the crap i had after with other mothers saying about not being able to bond properly, too posh to push even if breech etc etc really threw me and upset me a lot. I bonded wonderfully with my daughter and 13 yrs on are still as close as ever.
when I fell pregnant with my 2nd child 2 yrs later i was kinda bullied into a VBAC by the doc and ppls comments previously sprung to mind. I was induced at 42wks was in labour for 48hrs and had only dilated 4cm!!! she hadnt even engaged my doc was insisting that i keep trying and i was completly exhusted and begging for something to be done! at change over a new doc took a look and i was rushed in theatre for emergency cs as he discovered that she was far too big to come naturally and both baby and i would be in serious trouble if the labour continued. it was horrible and i was terrified and once it was all over and i was back on the ward i knew that again a cs was the right decision and should of happended sooner!
Now some 11yrs later I am pregnant (12+6) and have already told my midwife that i WILL be having a cs (age and experiance has made me more confident) was prepared to fight this but after hearing my history she agreed and i have been referred to consultant.

It is no-one elses business how you give birth, the priority is the health and well being of mother and baby how ever she arrives in the world and if a mother feels happier with a cs then so be it!

I will be electing for one this time round - my 1st was an emergency c-section, induced 3 times, broke waters - in distress - straight down to theatre and it was brill!! The 2nd time, I wanted one, was told no you have to try a vbac, went in at 40 weeks - oh no you're definetly not ready - could have told you that 30 odd weeks ago. Lets book you in for c-section (but it was bank holiday - so was 18 days overdue!!) went into labour the night before and was 2cm at 3am and low and behold 2cm at 10am! So missed my slot and went down for one later in the morning. Midwife has said that I shouldn't have any problems this time. Personally I felt fine after each one, was out of bed by the evening and I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything!! Although another pregnant woman looked at me abit funny today xx

im sure i want a c-section and im not even pregnant lol!

i had an awful labour/after carewhen joshua was delivered vaginally etc and really think a planned c-section is best for me...just been speaking to oh and he said he will back me up 100%

my labour was 20hrs with vonteuse delivery, episiotomy, tearing, trip to theatre to be stitched up and 2 blood tansfusions and poor lil joshua in scbu for 3 days. i know every labour is different but i dont want to go through that again it really ruined my first few weeks as a mum imo.

stick to you guns sy and ignore those ppl who question why you want a c-section, oppinionated idiots! joshua was 9lb 5oz and there is no way im pushing a chunkier one out than him !

xxx

I had a elective c-section as Max was breech and i couldnt give a sh*t what they said! I had people saying how i was too posh to push and that I should have had him turned (forced) around inside me! Er no thanks! I wanted my baby born safely and Id like to see the women who slagged me off push a breech baby out! Ignore them, do whats right for you!

well I saw my consultant yesterday - and shes written me down for a section

(and also a sterilisation Woo!)

she did say she couldnt see any real need for it, but i told her it was the only way it was going to happen, she asked why and i said because ollie was too big, and there is a history of big baies in hubbys family - so then she said would you regret it if the baby was a tiny 7lber.... to which my response was - hell no! as long as its healthy and ive had a better birth than last time, there will be no regrets whatsoever about having a section....

so just got to keep my fingers crossed that they stick to their agreement, and decide which day we want baby to be born on

xxxx

I personally think elective section should be a womens right regardless of whether she has a medical reason or not. There are so many non essential procedures carried out on the nhs these days such as cosmetic surgery, gastric bands etc, that i truely think any woman who wants a section should be able to have one. Vaginal births can cause serious long term damage so it really should be up to each woman to decide not some bloke in a suit sitting behind a desk x

I have asked my consultant for an elective cs and i think i would have been better off asking for a million quid! He (of course it would be a bloke) said they would not make any decisions until i am 34 weeks and in his opinion i would be better off having a vbac!!!!!!!!!! As for the "are you too posh to push" brigade i would like to see them try the cs route, if they knew how difficult and painful it can be they would soon change there tune. xxx

Hey Girls,

I've only had the too posh to push comment once so far but it really upset me, it was my brother-in-laws girlfriend who made the comment. She said it in passing in a jokey fashion but it still really upset me.

At the time she said it i had a low lying placenta and we were talking about what would happen if it didn't move out of the way before the birth. At the follow up scan to check the position of the placenta we found out the placenta had moved but the naughty little critter was breech. Critter is still breech (transverse) and we have the section booked for next Wednesday.

I am really dissapointed that i won't get to experience labour and have a natural birth but i just can't wait to meet the little one now. This is our first baby and i've been so suprised at how people think it's ok to voice their opinions when they are not asked for (or wanted!)

rubysmum if you want a section stick to your guns and make sure you get one. Your consultant has no right to bully you into a vbac, how the hell does he know whats best for you,is he psychic? He has no idea what will be the outcome if you attempt a vbac so he shouldnt really be saying thats what is best for you because he really has no idea. It is a gamble with a vbac x

Well I have to say girls I'm a bit on the fence with this 1. I had an emergency cs last time for failure to progress, but as I managed ok 1st babe I've been told I've an 80-90% chance of a successful vbac.
I want another cs as it will mean delivery at 38 weeks instead of potentially 41 weeks (I've gone over with both) but then I do believe the evidence that vag deliveries are better for mums and babes in terms of recovery. I know I've a 1/1000 risk of scar rupturing but then risk of clots or infections after a cs are greater than that so in effect I swap 1 problem for another!
Really want a vbac but hate the last few weeks of preg and would choose a cs solely to have a shorter preg which is stupid.
HELP - wish I didn't have a choice!

I had a successful vbac last year and ended up with a 3rd degree tear which has left me with problems no one wants to have at 22. I am a great believer in individual choice but i do think doctors are wrong to give you 'odds' for success. Any vbac is a gamble, its just luck as to whether you are 'successful' or not, not just in terms of scar rupture, but any of the usual risks of labour such as failure to progress or foetal distress etc . From a personal perspective i have no long term effects from my section but a few long lasting problems from my vbac. I just want women to know that despite what docs and mws will tell you, vaginal birth is not always the best option, wish id known that before x

i think thats awful that they will make you wait so long to sort out a section, i am not sure when exactly i will be able to sort mine out (when i am expecting number 2) but my cosultant said he will book me in before 20 weeks and monitor me constantly(oc) and if it needs to be brought forward earlier than 37 weeks he will.xx
its awful you have to wait so long.xxx

I will definitely have a c/s if I ever have another LO (doubt I will as oh doesnt want anymore and have pnd but hey!)
I am too posh to push and I don't give a crap - hehe - no only kidding. I had a cs after 2 days of obstructed labour with a back 2 back baby who weighed 9lbs 1oz. He didn't even engage - like you SY I was told there was no way he was coming out the natural way.
I personally believe a cs isnt as bad a recovery as people say - I was up walking after 4 HOURS! - and back to normal within a week. I love it that I'm still the same down there and have no probs with "tightness" or stress incontinence which many women have after a natural birth!

i had an emer cs with my ds 11 yrs ago and when i was preg with Abby i wanted an elective and my consultant kept making bargins with me ... like oh we wont let you go as long as last time (36hrs) oh we wont let you go as far over if you dont go in to labour yourself (15 days over with ds and 5 days over with Abby) eventually they decided to book me for an elective when i would be 40+5 and my baby was now really big !! i got my date and in i went only to go into spontanious labour the night before!!! so i laboured for 9 hours and i have to say it was easier than being induced butwhen Abby was born she was 10lb 5 1/2oz and i was sterilised at the same time the consultant commented that it was just as well i had a cs as there was no way she would have got through my pelvis and because she was so big she kept "popping" out of the engaged position!!
so if you need a section have one and tell the consultants its your choice and instead of you having to convince them to give you one they should try and convince you why you shouldnt cos most of us ladies would have more arguments for a cs than not!!.. i also have a bit of a theorie about other mums giving us a hard time about cs.....its cos they wanted one now there girly bits are not the same as they once were!!
fea x

Don't listen to anyone who tells you to try natural birth this time if you don't want to. I had an emergency cs first time as baby was breech and was convinced by consultant and midwife to try naturally second time. Unfortunately I was one of those rare creatures who had a rupture of my previous cs scar during labour and had to be rushed in for an emergency section.

We are ttc just now and if successful it will be such a relief to know that I won't have to go through all that worry again.

I agree with you Karen, everyone is so quick to point out the bad points and risks of section then try to make natural birth out to be so wonderful and risk free! I had a successful vbac last august but ended up with a 3rd degree tear. Wish id know of the risks associated with natural birth as if i had id definately have chosen an elective section. Women should be free to choose and not be bullied or pressured by anyone x

These are all making me so angry!

I've been told that i can have a section (although I'm still waiting for them to change their mind) and the last MW i saw said it was the best choice i could make and to stick to my guns about it.

it winds me up though - maybe all these people who think we're too posh to push watch the wright show - he's forever telling people they were TPTP on there!

and have you seen this?
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1061109/-ing-hell-women-birth-naturally--caesarean-doctors-outburst-mother-labour.html

if he had been anywhere near me I think I would have lamped him one!

xxx

I have just had a meeting with my consultant to discuss my options as I had an emergency c section last time and he was extremly accomodating and understanding I feel completely supported what ever I decide!

I was dreading this appointment from hearing other peoples stories but my consultant is and angel! He did no pressure answered all my questions and is happy whatever I decide!

It is left that I will go back in 4 weeks to book in my section date and he will also book me in to see him a few days before to see if my cervix is favourable and baby is engaged I can cancel my section if I want... if my cervix is closed and baby not engaged then to go ahead with section!

I love my consultant!!

Karen is your birth story on here I would be very interested in hearing what happened if you don't mind! because it is the one big worry I have is having a rupture and no one monitoring me at the time and it all going wrong!! (Sorry being nosey but it's good to hear both sides I have heard positive vbacs but never about a rupture!)xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

S.Y i just followed your link and read the article. What a prick.

I think the too posh to push thing...must have come from a man!!! So long as mum and baby are healthy does it really matter how you give birth.

Making a woman who is petrified of a repeat of her last labour go through another labour and an emerg section is just barbaric. Surely a planned section is safer than and emergency one????/

My personal experience has been 4 vaginal and then 1 section 6 months ago (plus sterilisation) and I have to say I would go for vaginal every time. I hated the recovery. i am an impatient person and hated not been able to drive, pick up the little ones etc... etc... BUT if my section had been my first and had been for a reason such as failure to dilate, big baby etc etc.. then I would have wanted another section. IF it had been due to baby in distress or strange position then I would prob try a VBAC. BUT I am not in that position and its easy to say what you would do when its not you.
Stick by your guns as its your body. Think of a good put down when someone next says it. If they say are you too posh to push...just say 'maybe, but I am not too posh to say F@@K OFF!!!!!'

ha ha

dxxx

[Modified by: dee dee on October 03, 2008 08:24 PM]

you know something? when people ask why i had 3 c/s, i tell them it is because i am far too posh to push!

i got fed up explaining myself as to why i had them, and found it actually shut them up, when i said it, and why the hell would i want my bits to look like they have been attacked by a cheese grater. (it has sweet FA to do with them they were not there, dont know what happened, so *** to them. )

most people dont actually go on then and ask anything else!

after my first (the emergency one), when i went back to work, one of our midwives kept going on at me about trying for a normal delivery next time, and loads of people do it (as if i didnt know! duh!). at 38 weeks i decided on an elective (suspected that the baby was far too big for my pelvis) and when i had it, she came to see me, and said "i did tell you to have an elective this time didnt i!" er, no you didnt actually!!

people can be really annoying sometimes!