Hi this is really for all of you out there with either 3 or more children. My hubby and me always said we wanted 3 or 4 children. I have 3 now and spend a lot of time thinking of the pros and cons of having another. We have 2 boys (7 and 5) and a girl (16 months). Hubby is happy now that we have our girl although he is open to having another. I am 37 and had 2 miscarriages immediately before I had my daughter.
I've always been a bit of a planner and realised after the mc that things don't always go to plan although I have also always been extremely fortunate and fell pregnant which each of the 5 pregnancies in the 1st month we tried.
I just want to know why those of you with more than 3 children wanted more (hope that's not being too nosey?)and what is good and bad about having lots of children.

Here are some of my list apart from the fact that I love being pregnant and am desperate to give birth again (will I still feel like this if I have another anyway?)
- having another would get rid of "middle child syndrome"
- I have 2 at school and between them they do after school activities every night, how do you fit in with 4 children?
- I try to give each of my children individual time so that will be less time each if I have another child
- it is obviously more expensive to have another child!
- we have a 7 seater car but take my disabled mum and her friend away quite a lot so wouldn't be able to do that if we had another baby
-there have been quite a lot of twins in our family and I don't hink I want 5 children (am also getting older so at an ever increasing risk of twins anyway)
-worried that if I had another mc I would want to keep trying until I had another baby
-I love being a mum and seeing their individual personalities develop
-It is so fantastic watching all 3 of them play and have fun together

I would welcome your feelings and experiences!
Thanks xx

hi. i have 5 children. - thomas 9, oliver7, joshua 4, rosie 2 and archie 13 months. we always wanted 4 children but after rosie our 4th i just felt i wanted a fifth. it is great having a big family, and deep down i would love to have no 6. there are so many benefits to having a big family i am 1 of 5 myself and can remember all the fun me and my brothers had growing up together. i do manage to give all my kids the attention and time they need. money can be an issue with such a big family but to be quite honest we are better off having a bigger family.
i love being a mum and i think this is what i was meant to be. i do get comments some good and some bad about having so many kids and people assume that am on benefits and all have not been planned but we both work and only our 4th baby was a suprise.
it's so nice to see them all playing and growing up together and they all have each other. it's lovely at the end of the day to sit and look at my lovely kids and think how lucky i am.
we don't as a couple get alot of time together but we both know it doesn't last forever and eventually we will have that time. after all they are only small once and we need to enjoy them as they grow.
to me having a big family is one of the nicest things and i am so proud.xxxx

[Modified by: pen on August 01, 2008 09:34 AM]

Hi pen thanks for that, I guess that answers my question about whether I would still want more even after another one! Do you think you will go for a 6th?
One thing that does concern me is that Abigail has always been so easy to look aftercompared to her brothers and still is in terms of sleeping, fitting in and still breastfeeding etc. How have yours compared with being "good" babies?
Also, out of interest, how did you feel about having a girl? Did you find out the sex with any of them and want a girl or were you not bothered? I expect you got lots of comments about having a girl after 3 boys and also people saying you'll be stopping now that you have a girl? I have had that a lot!
What is she like with having 3 older brothers? Abigail is already trying to be like her brothers who are quite close in age and can be a bit noisy when they get together!!
Do you struggle with time as you are working too?
As you say, it is great seeing them play together and the boys say they want another brother or sister! xx

hi. i was over the moon when we got a girl after 3 boys it was great. we found out with our 1st at 20 weeks, our 2nd at 38 weeks, our 3rd we didn't know what we were having so was a suprise, our 4th was a total suprise as well, and our 5th we found out at 20 weeks.
we are very pleased to have 1 girl out of our 5 children especially having 4 boys. yes we do get alot of comments about having one girl, i have 3 older brothers and 1 younger as well and it was great for when i went out they all looked after me.
rosie i must say is definatly a challenge compared to my boys. she is very feisty and the boys are very laid back and happy to just let life go by but rosie is in there with the best of them. she does act tom boyish sometimes but she is very girly, i always dress her in pink and dresses, never trousers.
mine as babies have all differed, thomas my eldest was very laid back, whereas oliver wasn't he was hard work. my others i feel have been easier as i think i have more confidence and experience as a mum. i have found breastfeeding with all of mine easy, and all of them have fitted round it each time i have had a baby.
everyone did assume that when i had rosie that i would feel more settled, i thought this as well, but a year on i knew i wanted another baby.and i must say that i do feel more whole as a family since having archie. but i also know that i would like no6. but my hubby isn't as keen. i do get pet later in pregnancy and that is a worry, so there is alot to think about really with no 6.
time is always short as i have so much to do. in term time i have 6 journeys to and from school on foot every day. i only work part time in the evening so all the kids are settled before.
as i ave already said there are so many pros for having a larger family. i love it.!!!
take care.xxxx

Hi

Its been really interesting to read this post as im in the same situation, we have id twin boys 17 months and im 37 weeks pregnant. we know that if we do have another we want a small gap so are gonna decide this year whether to ttc or if dh is gonna have the snip. He is more keen than i am to have the snip, but i would like to try again for a girl (i know im having a boy this time, but i would be happy to have a fourth boy)

Im worried about having a odd no. not just worried that one will feel left out when they are playing together, but worry when going out as a family one of us will always be left out.

Obv money is always a worry but feel that is true if you have one or ten.

As i already have twins i would be worried about having another set as this would put me back to an odd no, and we havent got the space for 6!

I just dont know how you decide when your family is complete xxDBxx

Thanks pen, it's been great to hear from you, your family sounds lovely. I have to say that I found it so much easier this time, it seems to me that the more children you have the easier it is with both being more confident and experienced and the children playing together. I remember with my first he was so clingy I couldn't put him down for a minute to make tea or anything but this time Abi will play happily with her brothers before school while I get ready and also after while I am making tea.
If it's not being too nosey (feel free not to answer if it is!), can I ask if they share bedrooms and how you worked out who would sleep where? Also, how would you fit them all in a car if you had another baby? Sorry, but I constantly think of all the practical sides to having another one,
As well as deciding on whether to have another baby or not I can't decide on when the ideal time would be (see, I do spend an awful lot of time thinking about this!). I am getting on a bit and always said that I wouln't have any more children after 40 (37 now) but have really enjoyed having only Abigail since my youngest started school last year.

DB - I agree with the money thing that apart from things like holidays, I don't think it makes an awful lot of difference the amount of children you have as cooking for an extra one or 2 is neither here nor there and I certainly wouldn't need to buy any more toys or clothes for another baby! You would if you had a girl next time though although I have had the best time buying pink.
My husband is one of 4 boys and Abigail is the 4th out of 6 grandchildren on his side and the only girl. I still feel so excited about having a girl and get so excited each time I put a dress on her!!
You are very brave thinking of no4/5 even before no3 has arrived! If you go for another, would you prefer another boy (your even number) or twin girls (odd nos but girls)??!!! xx

hi. my 3 older boys share the biggest bedroom in the house, they have 2 sets of bunks, eventually archie will go into their room and it is big enough to be devided up into 2 rooms so this is a project me and hubby are thinking about so they can have their own spaces. rosie has her own room ,which is very pink.!! lol. we did have to think about the sleeping arrangements but there is always a way round it. wif we went for no 6 we would have to get an 8 seater car. but thats no problem really.
i am very practical as well and i constantly think about the consequences of no 6, but hey what will another one matter, we already have 5. i always said no more kids after 30, and i turned 30 last month. but i know i have a little time left. we may think about no 6 when archie is 2 next june. thats another problem , when you have so many kids you have to really plan when you have them so they aren't too close together where birthdays are concerned. this hasn't always worked for me though. my 1st and last have 2 weeks between them, my3rd and 4th have 2 weeks between them and my 2nd was born a week before christmas. so all in the last part of the year and close together for birthdays, so if if i was to have no6 it would have to be in the first part of the year. lol. xxx

Shamelessly twin girls. What you say about putting a dress on Abigail, I would love that. Having said that a boy would be better, for cost and rooms etc We have three large bedrooms so twins share the biggest room but if we had a girl would have to divide it into 2 and i dont want to move them out of there bedroom, as i would worry they thought they were being pushed out, but in reality i know that the boys probably wouldnt care.

Re cars there are a few people carriers out there now that are a good size 8 seater. My Vauxhall Sintra is an 8 seater and the peugeot 806/807 also has a 8 seat variation.

Do you both worry tho that you will never feel your family is complete? You hear about people having 11+ children I always thought they were mad but understand more now. However I know i will never have that many dh has said if he doesnt get the snip after this one, he will after the next whether i like it or not.

xxDBxx

Hi i am pg with baby no5 and i have 2 boys aged 15 and 3 and 2 girls aged 13 and 5. My older 2 children were 9 and 7 when i had my third and i thought that i would not want another, she was a lovely baby and our life did not change that much but broodiness kicked in and i thought i would have no4 to even things up and tbh it has been hard work (he is a little monkey) but the 2 youngest get on so well it was def worth it. my lot have after school stuff too and some nights it feels like you spend all your time dropping kids off but you soon get into routine. As you can see broodiness returned and we are looking forward to adding to the chaos but it is worth it xxx

hi

im pregnant with 6+7 lol, i love having abig family.they do keep each other company,but as you said i wanted another not planned but ended up with twins this time lol

mandy x

Hi, I have 4 and have to admit that no4 wasnt exactly planned but i wouldnt change that for the world now. I love having 4, the house is never quiet there is always something going on and never time to get bored. Like you my eldest 2 are at school and it can be a bit of a pain when the baby is younger especially if they want feeding during the school run but they soon adapt and the older children are great with the younger 2, they do fight but then I think they would if there were only 2 anyway.
Its true what you say about middle child syndrome as people always asked if my 2nd was being a typical middle child if she was playing up once baby no 3 arrived but no one asks that now.

I too had 2 m/c before my 3rd was born and that terrified me that it would happen again, thankfully it didnt. The only thing I would say is that if you do decide to go for no 4, people will constantly tell you how nice it would be if you had another girl so you have an evenly balanced family. When I was expecting Isaac we had one boy 2 girls and all the way through people would tell me how nice it would be for jake to have a brother which did annoy me because all of us would have been just as happy with another girl. as long as the baby was healthy we didnt mind.

Thanks to you all for your replies, it is great to hear so many good stories about having lots of children! It is definately making me want another!
pen - you've got more than a little more time! I sometimes wish I'd started my family a little earlier but didn't because I didn't really know that I'd want so many children despite saying 3 or 4. However, despite the 2 mc I knoe I have been very fortunate to get pregnant so quickly each time.
I am also like you in planning birthdays and after having my 1st in May and 2nd in January was pleased when the next one was due in September as planned - but then I mc, got pregnant again and that one was due in November but I mc again. So much for planning!! In the end Abigail was born in March so they are all exactly 2 months apart with 27th Jan, 26th March and 27th May. Now I am under pressure to have a 4th child on either the 26th or 27th so that they are all the same!! I would love a summer baby.

DB - I would definately go for the twin girls too!! As I said I am absolutely loving having a girl and with so many boys, apart from anything else (I always had a million reasons why I wanted a girl) it is so nice just to have a change of sex. If I had a choice I would love another girl.
I would feel that my family was complete if I had 4 although I am pretty sure that I would still be envious of pregnant women and want to be pregnant again all the time!

rubysmum1 - you have done well with a nice mix, do you know what you are having this time? That is my one concern about having another, that he/she will be hard work again after an easy one this time.

mms- wow twins this time will be fun/hard work. Do you know what they are and what have you got already? How did you feel when you found out they were twins this time?

hayley1 - it's good to hear of someone else who had mc x2 before your 3rd then no more as it really is my fear that I will have another mc (I know you not having one won't guarantee that I won't!!). How old are your children?

sorry to go on for so long but as you can see, this is my favourite subject and as I have said, one that I spend a lot of time thinking about so it is great to hear from you all, thanks!! xx

Hi arg, my children are Jacob 12, Megan 8 Alice 3 and Isaac 16mnths, I would definitely say go for it, i love having a big family, as I said no4 wasnt planned but I am so glad he is here and feel I would really have missed out if I hadnt had him. x

i know age can play a big part in peoples life when expecting children, but my cousin has four girls and the last two are 1 and 3 and shes just turned 40 and her kids are fine , myself i have 2 and expecting 3rd in 4 weeks ans i know deep down in the bottom of my heart that this is the last one i have a girl 5 boy 2 and expecting an other boy, me and my other half dont come from big families and we only ever wanted 2 children as the cost of children can be expensive, but when i found out at crimbo i was pregnant the other half didnt speak to me for 3 days but now ive made my feeling quite clear i want to be sterilised i dont want no more, but if you love children and can afford the cost of them children then you go for it with no regrets but a line has to be drawn some where, i look at some families when out with my kids and there is families who have 6 kids and the kids are unclean and babies are in dirty buggies and the parents are swearing at the children and they all look down trodden ans i think theres a family who have kids for the sake of having them, and the working people have to keep them kinds of families who are benefits who think britain owe them a crust!!!!
but for me i dont claim benefits , i have a mortgage nice semi over looking fields nobody keeps me and our 3rd child will just make us complete as we have the room and certainly dont want to move house or buy a bigger car, as long as we can live comfortably then things are right for us!!!!

Hi there,

Thought I'd add to this post as I'm on my 5th I always knew I wanted more than 1 or 2 but although I love having my big family, I do wish I had been able to plan a little better (not always possible as our bodies don't tend to listen to us do they lol)!

My 1st 2 were girls and they are 10 months apart!! Big shock to find out I was pg within 6wks of my 1st and yes, it was hard going but well worth it! No3 came along 3 yrs after no2 - we wanted another but took the relaxed approach of no contraception but happy for it to happen whenever. As this one was a boy, both my family and dh's family (and several of our friends as well) were like...'u have a mix now, don't need anymore do u!' and it took me a yr to realise I was letting them tell me how to live - once I got past that, it was about another 18months b4 no4 arrived - another boy!!

So, that was my 1st 4.......in 13yrs my eldest will turn 21; 10 months later no2 will turn 21 followed 2 months later by no3 who'll turn 18. 3yrs after that he'll turn 21 followed 4 months later by no4 who'll turn 18!!!! On top of that nos 1 & 3 are November babies, 3rd & 21st and no5 (another boy and definitely my last) is due on 20th November!!!!!!!!! As I said, planning went out the window with my lot

We have decided to stop at 5 as this pregnancy has taken it's toll and I want to just enjoy my family now. We have a fairly good mix, the girls are close (most of the time) and Luke (no3) loves playing with them but as Alex is now 17months, Luke is realising that he's becoming a lot more fun to play with too! And no5 will only be about 20 months younger than Alex.

I know with the way things are nowadays, money does rule families and decision making but I also believe that you shouldn't ignore your own feelings etc. Yes, having babies/children costs money but there are so many ways of combating that - maternity grant, child tax credits (when they get it right lol), NCT sales, ebay, freecycle sites - all these can help money-wise!!

I agree with the money thing, as soon as we found out i was expecting twins we were really careful with what we chose to buy and bought a lot second hand, for example ive got 6 pushchairs (a triple, and inline double, a shopper double that lives at my mums, a three wheel off road double for walking dog, and two singles) and they all look (well did when i bought them) brand new and yet intotal cost me £320 as they were all 2nd hand. My friend bought one bugaboo pushchair for £600! I used to splash the cash but now have really learnt to make it stretch.

Yes my dh and I go without material things but i think the boys more than make up for what we cant afford. One of my friends is only having one child as she doesnt want to give up the 2 foreign holidays a year, whilst I respect her choice I would rather never go abroad again then only have one.

For me age plays a part, im 25 so i feel that i can still have a career when my kids are at school.

Arg, this topic has def got me thinking more about no 4, was begining to think that 3 would be it but now .......

xxDBxx

hi. money is such an issue, and i def agree with mummyx5 that you shouldn't ignore your feelings to have another baby. if i had waited to have all my kids til i was financially stable or though t about it too much then all my 5 would never have been,. i think in life sometimes you have to get the bull by the horns and just go for it, my kids are my world and i am so glad i have been lucky enough to have 5 gorgeous lovely healthy kids.xxx

I completely agree with you pen, If we had waited untill we had enough money then we probably still wouldnt have had baby no1 let alone baby no 4. We do go without material things and we dont have foreign holidays but I wouldnt change it for the world, my children are well cared for very much loved and very happy, and they also appreciate everything that they get as they know it is worked hard for. I also agree that age plays a part, I am 36 now and although I have days where I think I would quite like just one more, I think I am now getting to an age where I wouldnt want another, also hubby is 11 years older than me and has had health scares this year so that has made our minds up, I am going back to college to do a teaching assistant course then I will be ready to rejoin the work scene when Isaac starts school.

mummy x5 - I know you've already had 2 girls very close together (how do they get on together?) but as you said your last 2 boys will be 20 months apart in age I just wanted to say that my oldest 2 boys also have 20 months apart and it is great! They play so well together (most of the time!) and I'm convinced my 2nd son is doing so well in school because he learns so much from his older brother. They all look really happy on the photo, it's a great one!

hayley1 - as you say, some accidents are great and just meant to be. I think I would like an accident then I wouldn't have to spend so much time thinking and planning! How did Jacob find having a baby brother at his age? Was he in senior school?

DB - I'm not sure whether I have done you a favour or made your life more difficult with the dilemma of the 4th??!! I know you haven't had 2&3 yet but would love an update in time to know if there will be a no4. I'll keep looking out! I think as others have said that you should go with your gut instinct and there are obviously those of us that love being mums and are happy to give up luxuries for the joy and happiness that our children give us. xx

Hi arg

My girls have their moments like any siblings but they hate being apart for long periods. We've tried on occasions to see how they did with separate rooms (b4 we grew as a family lol) but would always find one or other of them in bed with their sister!! They both do really well in school as they have each other to vie against at home! Katie, the younger, is a September baby as well so is the eldest in her school year. Vicki does like to excel above Katie thou, as she says 'I'm the older one!', so where Katie pushes to do what Vicki can, Vicki pushes to do things that bit better!!

x

hi arg, Jacob was brilliant when both Alice and Isaac were born, he was in year 6 when Isaac was born and he was so proud, all he would talk about to his friends was his baby brother, he even kept pictures of him in his pencil case to show anyone, he is still great with the younger 2 and loves to talk about them, his friends have joked that he is a baby bore lol.

Thanks both of you - the more feedback I get the more it seems that a big family is a happy one! xx

I have 3 boys - James 2yrs 9 months, Isaac-Elijah 18 months and Tyler 7 weeks. They are all close in age and I love it.

I would love another baby but not till the boys are older as they are all still babies really and I dont want to have to share my time out between 4 - I like to have quality 1 on 1 time with each and think that would be a bit hard to do with 4 and still keep sane at the mo!!

Also if I was to have another baby I think I would like to have another boy as Im not really a girlie girl myself also her Dad would make her life a misery LOL! She wouldnt be able to go anywhere or do anything! Still Id be happy either way.

Hi all love reading your posts. Its also nice to see other people who have children close together, most of my friends only have one child and are either not planning anymore or want 4 years between them.

Just wondered tho how people find babysitting with 3+children. My boys are 17 months and feel that it is alot to ask people to mind them, trying to plan cover for when i go into labour has been quite stressful, and must say that im worried if we went for no 4 no-one could cope with 3 children.

xxDBxx 39 weeks

brandollarz - wow your 3 are very close in age! That is my main concern about another one, giving them enough time each but as I am getting keener on the idea all the time (especially with all of these positive posts) I guess I will have to just make sure they do get individual time.

DB - we only have each other to baby sit so when we do go out (not very often, me usually shopping, hubby back to work or occasionally out), it is individually. I have to say I'm not that bothered about going out much in fact I prefer evenings in after tiring days with the children!
My parents only live about 8 miles away but my mum had a stroke 2 years ago and is severely disabled and needs someone with her all the time so my dad can't get out much either. My in laws live 250 miles away so on the very few occasions they come down to stay we do get to go out - or rather have in the past but as I am still breastfeeding my 16 month old, by the time she has had her evening feed and gone to bed at 7.30 - 8.00 it's usually to late to get to the cinema etc anyway!!
My friend has 3 and they go and stay with her parents 150 miles away quite a lot especially in holidays but although my in laws keep asking if the boys can go and stay, I'm not keen as I would miss them too much and for other reasons. I agree that it gets more difficult the more children you have and I don't think they would manage well with the 3 of them let alone 4 (although they had 4 boys themselves). We are so used to managing on our own now and with my routines it is fine so I would just rather look after them myself anyway!

We just couldn't plan for childcare for the boys when Abigail was due which was quite stressful because there really wasn't anyone to ask. However, it fortunately worked out well because I went into labour when the boys were at school and nursery ( so a reasonable time) and as I was having a homebirth anyway, a friend (who has 3 children of her own) managed to pick them up and keep them out of the way until she was born - which didn't take long (again fortunately). Do you have relatives or friends who can take the boys when you go into labour? xx

What was a home birth like? I always disliked the idea but now ive got kids the idea of staying at home to deliver appeals to me more, although due to previous section im not allowed one.

Re babysitting my parents are great but they find the boys hard work and not sure how they would cope with three. I will be alright during labour providing its before the 25th august (im due 16th) as my parents have just booked to go away for a week, so frantically trying to get back up plans. My inlaws are also amazingly good but father in law is disabled, so dont like to take the piss and leave them there too long. I know that the boys come first whatever and my dh will have them if i go into labour, but i really want him with me especially after having an emergency c-section under general anesthtic last time.

If you do decide to go for no 4 what sort of age gap would you like?

Hi my home birth was absolutely fantastic, the best day of our lives!! I rarely stop raving on about it as it was so wonderful and perfect. Everything was so good but one of the great advantages is spending the first night at home in your own bed with your family and new baby. Will you have another section this time or try for a normal delivery? If you have a normal one this time maybe you might have a home birth with the next one?!!

I'm guessing your boys weren't late? so you don't know if you will go over this time. Was the section planned last time?

When to have no 4 is the big dilemma!! I always wanted all my children close together but after the 2 mc between no2 & 3 there was a 4 year gap and I have really enjoyed it as the boys are now both at school and it felt like having a 1st child again (but with the benefits of them playing with Abigail after school while I make tea!!). However, I have age against me and don't want too big a gap between them all.....but then I want to leave the hope and looking forward to a last pregnancy and baby for as long as possible! I would also like a summer/early autumn baby next time if all goes to plan (which it didn't with the mc). At the moment my thoughts are to try at the end of next year for a 2010 baby (so Abi would be 3 and a bit) but that could change at any time!! xx

its lovely to hear such a positive birth story. really glad everything went well.
I tried for normal birth with the boys but had to be transferred during labour as my hospital had no room in nicu. they gave me drugs to stop labour so that i wouldnt deliver in ambulance but they worked too well and despite having the drip labour never really established and then i developed pre-eclampsia. desperatly hoping for a vbac, but they think that baby is massive so just gotta go with the flo.
Had the boys at 35 weeks exactly am now 39+3 and keep having painful contractions so hope it wont be long.

I think a baby when Abigail is 3 would be lovely esp as you then get nursery vouchers, so that you can spend quality time with new arrival. xx

It's great that you are going to try for a vbac this time - the best thing to do for big babies is keep as mobile and upright as you can and let gravity help with getting baby out. Stay positive and focus that you will be able to have a normal delivery and don't let the Drs talk you into another section unless it is really necessary. I really hope you have a good birth and look forward to hearing all about it! Hope it's not too long to wait.xx

Hey

Hope your good?

Tried really hard for my vbac had 36 hours of labour but stopped progressing at 6cms and then started to bleed heavily so had to have a emergency section, but at least i was awake (despite having 2 failed epidurals and then a spinal) and my gorgeous son was born on 15th August the day before his due date.

However had real problems with my section and the consultant has said although the decision is up to me, he wouldnt recommend that i got pregnant again. And if i did he would recommend that i waited 2 years and if we had tried for no 4 i wouldnt have wanted that big an age gap. So I guess that is the end of the road for my expanding family as at the end of the day I have 3 healthy children and dont really want to risk complications when i have them to think about. I am however really saddened by the fact, even tho i know im really lucky.

Have you decided yet if your gonna try for no 4? Now i know i shouldnt, I must admit id like too even more

xxDBxx

Hi DB I have just seen your post on the labour and birth forum and was going to send you a reply (we are on hols in France at the moment and are staying somewhere for the weekend with internet access so I couldn't resist signing on!!). Sorry to hear that the birth wasn't what you had hoped for but Congratulations on the safe arrival of your son. When was he born? What is his name? How do you feel?
I am so enjoying my 3 at the moment, especially my daughter who is so funny that I would still like 4 but will definately wait if we do decide to try for another one.
What do the twins think of their new brother? xx

Hi i have 3 at the moment and wont be having any more, mine are Ellie 6, Leo 1, and James 2 months and its hard work, we only wanted 2 but James was abit of a surprise a nice and much loved and wanted one but still a surprise as you can tell by the age gap lol

I had a really bad time with James blood clot in my eye, small bleed on my brain a hernia from having 2 so close together that the docs warned me against another i dont think my body could take it anyway. I am 28 and the docs just put me on the waiting list to be sterilised, some times hubby and i talk about having a fourth to even things out and another girl but he has said he wouldnt like me to go through the medical probs again so 3 for us it is.
vikki xx

Salute, Ca va?

A holiday in France you lucky thing, hope the weather is good and your enjoying it.

Baby was born on 15.08 day before his due date weighing in at 8lb 8oz which was much smaller than predicted. We have named him Beauford Thomas, but we are calling him Bodhi and if he decides he doesnt like it we figure that Thomas is a nice and safe middle name and i love the abbreviation of Tomy.

The boys have taken to him really well, they started kissing him goodnight even tho i didnt ask them too, its as if he has always been there.

I was disappointed with the birth but relived that Bodhi was born safe, I am really disappointed with the fact ive been advised not to have any more tho. Dh is seeing the doc next week to book in for the snip, he says that we cant put my body through it again and that i should listen to the doc and be thankful for what we have got. dont get me wrong i am but I would love to have tried again for a girl and would still have been pleased to have a nice round no of 4 boys.

So now its def no more kids i guess i best start thinking about getting my figure back, but got a bit of excuse as breast feeding and baby needs chocolate he he.

xxDBxx

DB - glad to hear Bodhi arrived safe n sound but sorry to hear u've been advised against anymore. Prob best to heed their advice thou.......my dh can totally understand where urs is coming from as he said he'd be the same if any prob had arose in previous pregnancies!

I've got 12wks left til this one is due and have already told dh that his 'thingy' is banned from coming anywhere near the lower part of my body after birth until I've got contraception sorted out lol lol lol

Hi just wondering if there is anyone else out there with more than 3 children? xx

Hi,ive got 5 children, boy 22, girl 20, girl 12, boy 7 and boy 17 mths! I would still like to have another as i dont feel ready to stop having children yet! I know sometimes its tough because money can sometimes be tight but its so worth it in the end. My husband works hard and at times i have also worked so my children have never gone without. I cant imagine my life without my wonderful children and i really look forward to a future with lots of grandchildren. I really cant see a downside to have lots of children except you have to be really organised with money!! lov Debs xx

Hi Debs

Thanks for that - wow - some people have 2 lots of children with a big age gap but you are on your 3rd lot!! Good for you! Having had my first 2 very close together in age I ended up really enjoying a 4 year gap between 2 and 3 (not by choice, I had 2 mc). Unfortunately I am too old to wait too long for no4.
How does your hubby feel about having another one? xx

Hi, well hubby isnt as keen on another as i am but i normally get my own way!! lol. Time isnt on my side either as im 41 so ive got to get a move on. I know if i dont go for it now ill regret it later in life after all we are only on this earth for such a short time so you have to do all the things you want to do before its too late! Good luck. Debs xx

Hiya,
This was so interesting to read,
Wev'e been thinking of no'4 for a while and one of my concerns was time for each child. But as I've realised you just make time.
The other worry was car size as at the moment we only have a five seater and don't really want to get finance for a larger one. Either we will save for a car before trying or go for it and get one later..........funny isn't it how something symple like a car can put a hold on your plans!!!!!
It sounds like your so happy with trying for a large family and it makes me want the five I've always planned on.(much to hubby suprise!!!!!!!!)
I noticed your post was a dated a little while ago so I hope things are all going well.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hi
Debs - did you have any trouble conceiving any of yours? I haven't at all so far and got pregnant the first time we tried for all 5 (had 2 mc) but do worry that I might in the future as I am 38 now. I agree with you that I feel that I might regret it later if I don't have another one - it's not something that I can change my mind about it in10 years time and decide I want another one then (OK well I suppose I could but definately wouldn't want to!)

babs3 - How old are your children? we have a 7 seater but it would still be a problem for us if we had another as we take my disabled mum and her friend away quite a bit - I keep joking about needing an 8 seater if we have another! At the moment I am really enjoying having the 3 of them but allways have in my mind trying for another in about years time. To be honest I feel so fortunate to have 3 which is the least amount that I always wanted but another would be a definate bonus!
Thanks for your reply - I love hearing from everyone!! xx

hi. you all know i have 5 kids, thomas 9, oliver 7, joshua 5 , rosie 3 and archie 16 months.
the car thing was an issue for us as well. we have only just got ourselves a 7 seater. we have coped for all this time with a 5 seater. it just wasn't a priority for us to have a bigger car. but we have saved hard to get one and got a p reg galaxy. it's great to get out as family. if we were to have another one we would need a 8 seater, but still debating on that one. having another child would mean alot of up heaval within the house and i think that i feel my family is complete. but some days i think i would love another one. but hubby not as keen. i suffer from pre eclampsia in pregnancy so it's a big decision that would affect all the kids, especially if i was to become ill again. we always discuss with the kids about having another baby, as they live here as well. and we don't want to comprimise their happiness just fro the sake of having another baby. we are all happy plodding along with the 7 of us really at the mo. but i have found it hard recently trying to come to terms with the possibility that i may not have any more babies and archie is the last one i will ever breastfeed, it's hard to deal with. but i will make my final decision next year when archie turns 2 . so watch this space.xxx

Hi pen - I also think it is important to involve the other children in the decision making. My boys say they want to have another one which is really sweet of them considering their little sister keeps biting and pinching them at the moment!!!
I feel the same way about breastfeeding too and am still bf Abigail who is 19 months now - it's not all for me as she enjoys it too!
I think the fact that I have decided to enjoy the 3 I already have and like you have planned a specific time to make a final decision (next October ish) has made me feel a lot calmer and at peace about the whole thing. You'll be making your decision before me so I look forward to hearing it!! xx

Hi all

We are now in a funny situation, I wanted 4 but doc said after no3 for health reasons i shdnt have any more, so dh was put on waiting list for snip. So i got my head around having three and was happy.

However health reasons have dramatically improved so have been told i can ttc.

Hubby who wasnt as keen on no 4 anyway has said we can ttc BUT he is gonna stay on waiting list and when his appoint comes up (4 months ish) he will have it done, he thinks if we are meant to have a 4th i will fall.

Im exclusivly breastfeeding so not really expecting too but fingers crossed xxDBxx

Hi DB

Great to hear your news - how is everything with your new baby? You are extremely brave ttc again so soon with 3 already. If you get pregnant straight away (more possible than you probably think!) you will have 4 very close together in age (? all under 4).
Are you trying so soon because you want another one so soon or because you are worried oh will have the snip or change his mind about having another before you get pregnant? I would completely understand if it was because you are worried that oh will change his mind and would probably do the same as you, but just make sure you are giving yourself enough time to enjoy each of your children. xxx

Hello Ladies,
I thought i would join you as I am 27 today and am mum to 4 under 5's
Leoni who is 4 and a half followed by her sister Lacey who is 3 , Leyton has just turned 2 and Luca 8 and a half months bless!

I always too loved the idea of having a really big family as I am one of 7 and my husband is one of 5 children, i just thought keep the tradition and a have a nice large young family who can all look after each other whilst there growing up!

Recently didn't know I was pregnant with number 5 who we wanted so badly but was not meant to be as it ended in a miscarriage at 8 wks i'm so determined to just try again but i'm thinking what are the possibilities of having another one and could I deal with it again and the emotion side of things!!!

Really want to though although you will never forget that day of youre lost child and I will carry that burden forever, although I am so happy to have the four beautiful children i have,
'well I mean I think to myself just look at all the women who are finding it really hard to conceive.

i'm hoping to try for nom 6 after the new year but I will keep you all posted if anything happens earlier, maybe I just love being pregnant as I don't suffer from any symptoms like morning sickness I just kind of sail through it all !!

5 children are seriously hard work but they are well worth it in the long run, I am so blessed literally as I have 2 girls and 2 boys and the girls will both be at primary school together next year together and i will be at home with the boys.

My husband is also coming up 27 and he works full time so I get to do all the fun things which he misses out on!! x x x x:D

im preg with my fourth and they r all under 6 lol i must b mad i suppose u just have to cope and it can b quite fun and rewarding tireing but i wudnt swap it 4 the world and i cant w8 to give birth to my 4th and im only 25 but its great im just as bad as the kids running round the house with thm and playing hide and seek i have more fun with my kids than i ever did b4 i had them xxx

Congratulations tinkerbell83! Did you always know you wanted lots of children or have you just enjoyed the ones you have so much that you want more? Do you think you will have any more after this one? you certainly have age on your side! x

I've just had my 5th......he arrived Monday 24th That's my family complete now....2 girls & 3 boys!! It's hard work and I do feel pulled in all directions sometimes but then you get the good moments like my girls doting over their new brother, my 4yr old boy kissing and hugging both his younger brothers and proudly telling everyone they're 'his' bubbas.....and Alex, who at 21 months doesn't really understand about the new baby but will still go to him, pat his head and say 'wow'!!! Yep, those moments make it all worth while

hi
my twins are both boys so i will have 5 boys and 2 girls lol...this is gonna b 1 mad house lol...

only bad thing about having twins is im going back to odd number which i have been trying to avoid,but im single now so no chance of having anymore(not that i do want more).

mandy 34+5 twins

hi. big congratulations mummy x5, if you feel anything like me , when i had my 5th i really felt complete. my youngest is now 18 months and i'm not really sure if i want another to make 6, although i have always said that i don't like odd numbers, so you never know. but theres alot to be said for a big family, i love it. wouldn't change it for the world.xx

HI yes congratulations mummyx5!
pen - did you really feel complete after your 5th? Sorry i'm asking because I do still worry that if I have a 4th I keep thinking that I will feel complete and definately won't have anymore anyway but am worried that I would still want more. It sounds as if you could be persuaded?
mms - WOW, you really are going to have your hands full. How old are your others? Do you have family to help? You certainly are going to have a mad christmas!! xx

Hello
never done this before.....
we have 4 kids aged 9, 4, 2 1/2 and 15 months. We are expecting our 5th baby due beginning April so there will be 19 months between the youngest two.. Exciting and a little daunting at the same time - just getting the 2 little ones into a routine following months of breastfeeding and sleepless nights.....still, wouldnt change it...

hi there i only have one child currently we are ttc baby No.2 but i would like maybe 4 children my husband is 1 of 9 children so i think he wants more than 3 we have disscussed it but i've never got a definate answer.
but anyway that not why i am writing i was wondering with those that have more than 3 children do alot of people think you are on benefits?
because someone said to me once that most people with big families are on benefits which i think personally was way out of line because i dont think so but i was just wondering do you find alot of people actually think this?

All the bl**dy time. I feel that people look down on me because i have 3 kids esp as they are close in age (21month twins 16 week baby n ttc) I always find myself saying to people that we do both work, my dh does 60+ hours work a week. we just forgo luxurys. xxDBxx

yeah I do the same or feel like I have to justify that we both work and look after our children well.... get a bit paranoid to be honest and I imagine it will be worse once our 5th is born......people assume you have never had any ambition other than to have kids.... lots of them!!

hi. i get it all the time, i have 5. and automatically get looked at as i have so many. people always presume that you are on benefits, but we aren't, my hubby works full time and i work part time. we keep our kids ourselves. when we were expecting our 5th child we had p[eople stop us in the streets and question us on why we were having another baby? as if it was anything to do with them. and we were called greedy for having 5. alot of negative comments. but you know when we are all out together as a family i am so proud to be a mum of 5. but sometimes i am made to feel that i am wrong for having 5 kids and i dread taking them out sometimes as the looks i get are awful. all my kids are well dressed, well mannered, don't want for anything. just makes me cross that people have to question why we want so many kids. xx

I also get those 'looks'.......however, at this moment, we are actually on benefits :( My hubby has now been refered to the spinal unit for xrays and and mri scan as they are not quite sure what else is going on with regard to his back & neck probs as it now affects his legs!

Thing is, up until I was 6months preg down the line with our 5th, he worked full time, 7 days a week, and I worked p/t up until I was made redundant when preggy with no4 (not a lot cud be done as the company went bust!). Neither of us particularly like not working, although we are not sure just what dh will be able to do due to the probs he has but I am making plans currently to find summat p/t in the Spring! P/t is easier for now as dh can only do so much with the kids currently....

Anyway, came off the subject there slightly lol Yes, those 'looks' from complete strangers who have nothing better to do with their time than sneer at others......grrrrrrr, bloody busy-bodies lol

hi girls, its been really interesting to read everyones comments. I am also trying to decide whether to stop at 3 or carry on for a 4th. Thing is my oh wants to wait 5 years at least b4 we have ne moe but I dont want a big gap as the other 3 are so close in age. So unless he changes his mind I think 3 will be it. What does everone think about having large gaps between siblings? my 3 girls are 4 in feb, 2 in march and 7 months x x x

Hi I am 50 50 on that one, my first 2 have 20 months between them and it is great, they are so close and have so much fun together - I hadn't planned to wait so long for no 3 but due to 2 mc there was 4 years 2 months between nos 2 and 3 and I love that too!! It is like having a first child again but with the experience of already having children and the older ones to help play with the youngest when I'm making tea!!
If we go for no4 (still no decision made!) I would be happy for a gap of about 3 1/2 - 4 years but probably not any bigger (am getting too old!).
I know lots of people with a variety of age differences and I love my age gaps now even though it wasn't planned like that. xx

Hi everyone, its great to read all your posts and i cant believe how many of us are in the same position, of whether or not we should go for a fourth baby!
I have twin boys aged 3 and a half and a little girl who is nearly 2, with only a small gap between my 3 of only 20months life was very chaotic for a while but now things seem to have calmed down and they all get on brilliantely. Which is why i am considering a fourth!! I would love another girl and would love my daughter to have a sister, i have found my boys much harder work. I dont know whether im just being selfish tho? Hubby isnt as keen as me but i think he would agree if i really want one. My kids all want a little bro or sis, eapecially my boys they are always saying (when we have another baby!!) which i think is so cute!

Hi everyone, its great to read all your posts and i cant believe how many of us are in the same position, of whether or not we should go for a fourth baby!
I have twin boys aged 3 and a half and a little girl who is nearly 2, with only a small gap between my 3 of only 20months life was very chaotic for a while but now things seem to have calmed down and they all get on brilliantely. Which is why i am considering a fourth!! I would love another girl and would love my daughter to have a sister, i have found my boys much harder work. I dont know whether im just being selfish tho? Hubby isnt as keen as me but i think he would agree if i really want one. My kids all want a little bro or sis, eapecially my boys they are always saying (when we have another baby!!) which i think is so cute!

Hi everyone, its great to read all your posts and i cant believe how many of us are in the same position, of whether or not we should go for a fourth baby!
I have twin boys aged 3 and a half and a little girl who is nearly 2, with only a small gap between my 3 of only 20months life was very chaotic for a while but now things seem to have calmed down and they all get on brilliantely. Which is why i am considering a fourth!! I would love another girl and would love my daughter to have a sister, i have found my boys much harder work. I dont know whether im just being selfish tho? Hubby isnt as keen as me but i think he would agree if i really want one. My kids all want a little bro or sis, eapecially my boys they are always saying (when we have another baby!!) which i think is so cute!