I've not been posting on here much, was in Jan forum as didn't want to tempt anything bad to happen.

Been for 12 week scan today and it doesn't look good. She said my uterus was retroverted (tilted back), so she found it hard to see properly.

From what she could see it looked like the sac was irregularly shaped and there was no heartbeat, every now and again it looked like there was a second sac, but she could not get a clear enough picture of it.

i'm due to go to hospital tomorrow for an internal scan to see if they can see more - both hubby and I are absolutely gutted and just feel like the last three months have been a total waste. I know these things can happen and that obviously it wasn't meant to be.

Can anyone give me some insight into what happens next, midwife said they tend to steer away from dnc and wait for it to come out naturally or give me drugs - how long will I have to wait??

This is all so rubbish!!!!

Rachxxx

Hello Rach, sounds like you and your hubby are in emotional hell at the moment. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you for your hospital appt tomorrow. If the sonographer said she thought she could see two sacs but couldn't get a clear look, there is hope that a little one might be hiding. Good luck, X x

Rach, I too hope that there is a little one hiding in there. be strong and try to be positive, i know it's not easy.
I went through this only last tuesday and know what you are going through but at least you have some hope as you have to go back tomorrow. i didn't. please be strong and wait til tomorrow. if it's bad news then i'll tell you my story if you want.
i'm really crossing my fingers for you and hope that tomorrow goes well. love and thoughts. xxx

Thanks for your thoughts, we will wait and see tomorrow but my hopes are not very high.

As soon as I find out either way i'll let you know and it would be great if you could share you experience with me Lula-belle, just so I can mentally prepare for what will happen.

Rach

I'm so so sorry for what you are going through.

I mc'd a few weeks ago and I know how awful it is to be waiting for scans to confirm things, then having to decide what to do if the scan confirms the worst.

Good luck tomorrow. Try to stay positive as it could all be ok. It might just have been that the tilted uterus made it too hard to see.

If it's not ok though I can tell you my experience of natural mc if you want to be prepared. xx

hi hun, i'm so sorry to hear about your scan.
my fingers are crossed for good news for you for tomorrow, i hope you have an answer one way or the other tomorrow though as waiting is horrible.

if it is bad news though i had a D&C a few weeks ago so if you want to know about that i can tell you. it wasn't anywhere near as bad as i thought it would be and i found preparing for it really helped.

good luck hun, let us know how you get on xxx

Well had it confirmed today it was a missed miscarriage, baby made it to 8wk2d then stopped. They said it was due to the sac being an irregular shape, so it didn't give the baby the support it needed until the placenta was there.

They have me 2 options, either go home and wait or have an ERPC (op).

Bloody hard to choose which way to go, but chose the ERPC, as baby stopped growing 4 weeks ago but still no sign of coming away.

Really nervous as I've never been under general before and sod's law says I'll be the one to have my uterus perforated or get an infection - (sorry feeling a bib rubbish at the mo).

At least in a good way it will be over tomorrow, so I can heal up and move on and get cracking again straight away...

Thanks for listening (reading!)

Rachxxx

hi rach, i'm so sorry to hear your news. i hope you are getting lots of support.
as i mentioned above the ERPC wasn't as bad as i thought it was going to be (i was very scared as never had op or been in hospital before). the hospital staff were lovely and before i knew it i was waking up. if you want to know anything about my experience then let me know.

good luck for tomorrow and i hope you recover well. xxx

hi rach
sorry to hear about your sad news. this sounds so similar to my mc. i went for scan at 13 weeks and was told the baby had stopped growing at 9 weeks and that the sac was irregularly large. i chose medical management and had tablets to start mc off last friday. i am still bleeding heavily and passing large clots at the minute. in a way i wish i'd gone for the erpc as it is quicker. i hope it goes well for you tomorrow and that you and your hubby get through this ok.
will be thinking of you and if you need support, i am always around. xxx

hope you are ok and it went as well as it could. i hope you heal well xxx

Hi all,

In this response, I have gone into great depth about the ERPC proceedure and all that goes with it, there i a lot of detail, so for those who may be squeemish or not want to know about the ERPC, please do not read any further.....

I went in and had the ERPC yesterday. Had to get to the hospital for 8am and didn't get home until 5.45pm, so it was a long day.

Overall the experience wasn't half as bad as I thought it would be, the nurses, gyny staff and mid wives were all really caring and attentive.

I got in at 8am, had to go to the operating theatre admissions. We were taken to a proper side room with a door, not jsut one of the cubicles ith curtain - I found this to be really good, as hb and I could have a good cry, moan, laugh and lots and lots of cuddles without worrying about the people around us.

At about 9am a gyny doc came and gave me a pessary - three little tablets which she placed just a bit higher than the cervix - this helps to soften it to make the surgery easier.

This for me was the worse part, they warned me I would get period type cramping - stupid me thinks, 'oh that's ok', as I only get very mild, mild cramping - oh no, this was really strong cramping for about an hr, my hb was rubbing my belly for me which helped!!

They wanted to wait three hrs from having the pessary to going into theatre. After the first hr the cramping pretty much stopped which I was thankful of! I then had bleeding everytime I went to the loo, sometimes with clots coming out.

Finally after a long wait with no food since 10om the previous night and 1 glass of water at 9am, I was taken to the recovery room down by the theatre at 1.30. I then changed into my robe, walked to the theatre and said a massive good bye to my hb - I'd never been under before so had all sorts of fears running through my head!

1.45pm I went into the theatre where I had two women holding my hands as I was getting a little teary, they put two sensor near my collar bones, put a monitor on my index finger, then put the needle into my hand - none of which hurt at all. They the gave me a drug to help with the pain afterwards and then gradually put in the drug to make me sleep - it was a strange and lovely experience - I just gentley drifted off and felt really calm.

Next thing you know I woke up in the theatre, they talked to me to make sure I was ok, which I was, then took me back t the recovery room where Adam was waiting. I was in and out within 45 minutes.

Every 15 mins they checked my blood pressure, pulse and temp, after 1 hr this then reduced to every 30mins. I finally had a drink of water at 3.30pm and was allowed a cup of tea at 4pm and then toast with jam at 4.15 - this was total heaven as I was starving at this point!

You have to go to the loo first and walk around a bit then they let you go - luckily I had a really quick recovery.

I went home and slept for a further two hrs, had some dinner then went back to bed at around 10pm.

I had bleeding yesterday each time I went to the loo and a little in a pad. Today the bleeding seems to have stopped whilst going to the loo and there is just a little in the pad.

Overall this probably sounds really werid and is probably because I am still in shock or something, but I feel like the worst is over and I can now move on, let my body heal and we can try again. We know we can get pregnant and just need to hope and pray the next time will be a much happier occasion.

Rachxxx

hi rach, i'm glad that is all over now and that you can start healing. your experience was very similar to mine, except i didn't have that long between tablets being put inside me and the op.
just to warn you - but it may have just been me - but my bleeding afterwards kept coming and going - just wanted to point that out in case you worry if you start bleeding more.

i hope you heal well. lots of pma to you - and lots of sticky babydust for next time xxx

Hey Mrs E,

Thanks for your thoughts and thanks for the warning, it has really cleared up today so it is good to know that it might keep coming and going.

Take care
Rachxxx

Hi Mrs F
I'm glad that things went better than you had anticipated. The scariest thing of all is not really knowing what is going to happen and how you are going to feel. I don't think anything can really prepare you for how it will be but if you have the facts first then you can try to prepare yourself.

Baby B really helped me before I went down the medical management route It was good to hear someone else's experience and then at least I was able to compare her experience with my own. I have only just stopped bleeding (just over a week now) but still have a slight dull ache in my lower abdomen. Hopefully this is normal! I am also quite emotional today despite having been ok for a few days.

Hope you heal and recover quickly, Rach. Take it easy.
xxx