Hey girls,

Was just wondering what you are all planning on doing? If I am completley honest I dont really like the idea of breastfeeding - although I have promised my OH that I will do it and stick with it! As a compromise I have asked if I can breastfeed during the day and bottle feed at night time. This will also be an advantage for me as my OH never ever sleeps - days that he does he manages to drift off about 5 ish for only a few hours a night! Hes always been the same and is fine with it but will be brilliant for me as we have said if I go to sleep about 11 that means I can sleep to about 7 if he can get a feed in before he goes to sleep!!!

ANYWAY!! What are you all planning on doing?? Dont think im a terrible mother for not wanting to breastfeed!!

xx

[Modified by: natashamaync on 10 July 2009 22:41:22 ]

I don't think you're a terrible mother. Breastfeeding is very personal and it isn't right for everyone. I know some friends who've tried, but it just hasn't worked. I am going to give it a go, and I'm hoping to be able to stick with it, but I don't feel pressurised into it & neither should anyone else. Neither will I feel like I've failed if it doesn't work. At the end of the day you have to do what's best for you and your baby and you won't know that until baby's here.

Hope this helps,
Dx
19+5

Hey D,
Thanks for your reply. I actually really appreciate your opinion on this - as I do make myself feel guilty for not being 100% into it.
My mom swears blind that the reason she developed PND is because she carried on breast feeding as she felt forced into doing it by my father! So I will be sure to listen to myself and if im not happy thats the main thing - ill be taking on board your mindset - that you wont feel like you have failed if it doesnt work!

Thank u again honey! xx

Hi,
I'm hopefully going to bf. Did it for 13 months exclusively with my lo. Wouldn't know what to do with a bottle lol! x

20+2

Wow that really is brilliant! Obviously you must enjoy it - I really hope this happens for me!! xx

Hi Tash

I'm bottlefeeding this time, my daughter was born 12 years ago (I was a young 21 year old) and gave it a go for 2 days and then stopped, she was a big baby and I certainly wasnt big, I had an awful midwife who me a failure for giving up (helps with the confidence of being a new and young mum!) I spent hours and hours on the first 2 days trying to bf and it was never enough, I couldnt get up to go to the toilet, didnt get to eat breakfast as you had to go to central room for breakfast, after the horrible midwife finished her shift I was in tears wondering how the hell I would cope and a lovely midwife came and spoke to me and my husband and said the most important thing to me ever - she was my baby and I was to do what I wanted to do as it would be me that would be looking after her and bringing her up not any of them and if bottle feeding works then do it - didnt look back and I have a beautiful, healthy, happy and intelligent 12 year old daughter, it took all the pressure off my shoulders having that discussion and made it fun for the 3 of us to be able to bond.

I am looking to do the first feed by breast just for all the collostrum (spelt wrong!) but the rest will be bottles. People may judge and criticise me but I dont care because this is my baby and for me and my family to bring up, I have living proof that it was fine first time round but it is my decision and I want to be able to enjoy the first stages with my family and allowing us all to bond in the same way. I am not in anyway against breastfeeding in anyway but it just didnt work for me. Sorry rant over just wanted to make the point after what I went through last time and to just basically say go with whatever suits you the best because at the end of the day she is your little baby girl and nobody else.

Nat x

I have to be honest as well and say im not comfortable with the idea of me breastfeeding at all. I know that sounds terrible but for me I just dont like the idea of breast feeding. My MIL is trying to push me into it and its just not something that I want to do at all. I also plan to do the first feed for the collestrum but after that its bottle feeding. I always have this uncomfortable notion though that people are going to be really awful about me bottle feeding.

Im really keen to breastfeed and really hope I can do it - but I agree with the others, it's a very personal thing what you decide to do and you shouldnt be made to do one or the other.

My MIL (along with dh's cousins) are all dead set against me breastfeeding. I dont think it's a bad thing they all bottle fed but I dont think they should be forcing their opinions onto me and trying to put me off breastfeeding if it's what I personally feel is right for me. They can be really awful about it, I just dont understand why. Plus as you know the advice is if youre breastfeeding to do it till the baby is 6 months - loads of health benefits and baby doesnt go without. MIL is dead against this as well, she thinks you should wean a baby as early as theyll start taking food!!! Im just going to ignore her - what else can I do!!!

I think that whatever you decide to do, therell always be someone ready to say you should be doing it differantly - so just do what you want/can do and ignore them. Most people wont think anything of it - and the ones that do dont matter!
xax

I hope to breastfeed, and if I can for as long as poss. But it really is a personal choice so once you have made it DONT LISTEN TO ANYONE ELSE!! (except us !)

If you dont want to breastfeed then you shouldnt be forced to do it , or made to feel guilty for not choosing to do it!!! One of my friends felt really uncomfortable about it as she couldnt disassociate it from being something for her husband. Whatever the reason, it is your own personal thing. But one thing to bear in mind is that you will probably get a thrashing from the midwives as apparently they give girls a hard time for not wanting to or not trying. Just shut it all out.

xx

hi ladies, im crashing from born in june...I BF'd for 2 weeks and gave up after both I and LO got too stressed out to do it anymore. I always said whilst PG I would do it for as long as we were both happy and no longer...I ended up in pain, crying most nights and LO was feeding sometimes for over 2 hours meaning I felt tied to the house not knowing when she would next feed...
so, from my experience I would say, if you're happy to bf then do so but please don't put yourself under pressure to do it for x weeks/months...and if you're not bf'ing or have to stop for whatever reason - good on you too....after all in my opinion a happy mum and baby is THE most important thing....and you should enjoy those first weeks too - it goes so QUICKLY!!!

Natasha - the only thing I would say is that you may struggle to do the half and half thing. Once you start bottle feeding the breasts think you don't need so much milk so stop making so much. It would probably work if you can express (I'm not liking that idea myself at the moment) but you may find you don't have enough milk during the day.
I'd say give it a go - you don''t need to get out of bed at night - get your oh to bring baby to you then change the nappy after so you can go straight back to sleep. If it doesn't work for you, then go to bottles - what is best for mum is best for baby!

I'm hoping to breastfeed - I and my mum are both convinced that I'd have significantly fewer health problems if she'd been encouraged to bf me instead of being told to bottlefeed me. She breastfed my brother and he doesn't have asthma or eczema now, whereas I was a brittle asthmatic for years. I have to say I'll be devestated if I can't breastfeed, as with having such bad asthma I don't think there's any other way of helping to tip the odds in baby's favour, as the likelihood is that they will have asthma. Doc has said the best thing I can do is try breastfeeding, as it's likely to set my baby up with less risk of developing it. I'm hoping to express a bit too so hubby can feed the baby and I can have a sleep! ;)

Em 20+6 x x x

Im hoping to breat feed this time as i was made to feel uncomfotable when i had my girls by ex husband and because i was young. Im looking forward to trying it but if it doesnt work or i dont like it i wont be too fussed to bottle feed again

I really, really, really hope I can breast feed. However, if it doesn’t work out for baby or me, I won’t feel bad for using a bottle. I’m sure there are loads of women who say breast is best, but I’m guessing those are the one who had little or no problem breast feeding. My friends little boy spent the first 3 weeks of his life screaming non-stop. She was at breaking point and the poor baby just wasn’t a happy little guy. Anyway, it turns out that although she was producing milk, there wasn’t enough and her little boy was crying because he was so hungry. She changed to bottle feeding and the crying stopped instantly!

I won’t be giving up easily on breast feeding – cracked nips, bleeding etc I’ll keep trying…… However, if the baby starts to suffer I’ll stop and try bottle feeding, or maybe I could pump and then give the baby breast milk with the bottle.

I definitely don’t/ won’t judge women who chose to bottle feed, becoming a mother must be hard at the best of times so everyone needs to do what’s best for them.

M x :\)

I dont think anyone should get too stressed about it.. I really wanted to Breast feed last time but it just didn't work out and my son has not had a sick day in his whole 2 years.. Formula is very nutritious and if it came down to the fact my baby was'nt getting enough nourishment then it would defo be bottle.. My freind is a midwife and neo natal nurse and she told me some horific stories about babies ending up ill as mums wont let a drop of formula pass the babies lips, blood sugar drops and can cause brain damage if they arent fed properly.. x

Im going to bottle feed, although I have compromised with my OH and said i'll breast feed for the first few weeks if I can.

I was a bit worried about telling my midwife as she's quite old fashioned, but she just said that although she was there to encourage breastfeeding, it was my body and my baby and not to be pressured into doing something i didnt want to do xx

Breast feeding for me. I did last time and it was great. Obviously sore initially but a little suffering is fine and so part of being a mum :) most of my friends haven't bf and I really hate when they hand me a baby and a bottle as i'm hopeless witha bottle. Don't know what i'm doing. I did express last time and lo breast fed til she was 11 months then just chose to stop. Will just see how long this one wants to go but def for 6 months. I think it's good that everyone has an idea what they're going to do but remember that once baby comes it can all change. My friend was so set on bf and couldn't do it and gave up and felt awful bout it but wasn't her fault. So take it easy on yourself and don't worry bout it either way x

Dont worry natasha, Im also not overly comfortable with it and the plan is to BF during the day provided Im in the house and maybe express for the night. Im going to try it but if Im not comfortable with it then I will switch to bottle. Im not gonna beat myself up about it.
Hugs
Amy 24+2 xx

Im not going to breastfeed. I didnt with my son and dont intend to this time either, personally I just cant get my head round it but admire those mothers who can. I was really worried that the midwife would be nasty to me for not even trying but she was ok as long as your firm and dont be bullied into anything your not comfortable with. It is the most healthy option but its important to have a healthy mother aswell who is happy with herself. Once I was firm and said no and explained my reasons the midwifes never mentioned it again. Good luck xxx

dont put any pressure on yourself - i would like to breastfeed but if i cant i wont feel guilty.

I would also love to use reusable nappies but if it is too much then disposables it will be.

What ever suits you and NOT ANYONE ELSE!!!!

x x x x

dont put any pressure on yourself - i would like to breastfeed but if i cant i wont feel guilty.

I would also love to use reusable nappies but if it is too much then disposables it will be.

What ever suits you and NOT ANYONE ELSE!!!!

x x x x

I would just go with the flow - you wont know how you really feel about it until baby is here and you try it!

i wasn't fussed either way with first wuite liked thought of doing first day or so just to experience it - but it wasnt meant to be after long labour baby was tired and didnt feed then the whole night and day i tried and he had nothing - it turns out my nipples went flat ?! very strange but apprently commom when have big boobies and also was hot and bothered and the more i tried the more it so wasnt happening so as so long had gone by and baby hadnt fed anything i got a bottle and that was it!

x

I have no idea what i'm going to do, not even sure if i can as have had boob job. I want to give it a try but have heard so many stories about it am not sure. And I would like my hubs to have as much contact as possible so am leaning towards bottle.

sarah
21+3

Its so great to see everybody on here respect each others opinions and choices, I have seen some women on another website rip women apart for wanting to bottle feed.
For those who are planning to bottle feed I have heard of a formula that midwives recommend apparently its a great subsititute for breast milk, you can get it from boots its called Aptimel.

24+2

summer76 reusable nappies are ok. Only thing is they are really bulky and therefore don't look good with all the cute clothes. My sad reason for not using them all the time. Plus doesn't work out cheaper or better for environement when you factor in washing etc. I did use them now and then and they were handy when you were in the house and didn't have to go anywhere. I got a pack of free samples of different kinds from my council so you might be able to. Some of the designs are really cute!. x

Hey girls,

Rosapenny your right, I feel so much better knowing that all you girls would respect a descision to bottle feed.

Lentil thank you for that advice - my mum did say that to me although also said that your body would stop producting milk during the night when baby starts sleeping through, so may work,. Its hit and miss I guess but interesting to think about.

You girls have been brilliant and I really feel much better about standing up to not doing it if I dont feel comfortable. I did try and raise the subject with my OH yesterday too, who wasnt very impressed and really wants me to exclusivley breast feed no matter what. It makes me a bit upset to think that he doesnt understand that it might not even work... but thats men for u I guess!! xx

Last time I didn't breast feed at all. I actually feared it through pregnancy. I always felt uncomfortable when people asked me to my face whether I would breast feed. I found it very odd people were suddenly talking about my tits! I see them as purely sexual things and just couldn't get my head round the idea of doing it or people wanting to know about it. I also saw my friends boobs and what they looked like during breastfeeding and it was horrific! (sorry) they were chewed up and scabby. There is no way on earth I want that. You can't see how much they are having and I dont fancy having a baby sucking on me for an hour through the night, whereas with a bottle its a 5-10 min job and back to bed!!!

A breast fed baby poos more frequently each day as well, she had to change the nappy 5 times a day because of poos! and he had a sore bum for all the wiping, my little boy did one poo a day. He was never ill, had no problems with growth, teething, colic etc and he slept though from 8 weeks.

I doubt I'll be THAT lucky again lol! but the thought of breast feeding is just weird. I'm gutted as I feel like I will be missing out a bit. but I know the formula does the trick and makes for a happy baby! and a happy mummy which is the most important thing if you are both happy.
Emma xxxxxx
22 weeks today!

They might poo more but the poo doesn't smell bad. They are only getting what they need and no more therefore aren't as fat. Just to make up for the amount of poo which can be v runny and yellow and everywhere. My first lo only got constipated once on solids and was fine on breast. No sore bums either. I don't think you can blame bf for that, just depends on the baby. Just a plus for bf over bottle to balance things :) x altho you're right bout the sleeping throught the night, must confess I loved the extra time my baby was with me tho keeping me awake x

I'm sure my friend said her baby, who's 3 now, hardly pooed because he was breastfed, so he took pretty much everything he needed from the milk and so needed to pass less out of his system? I may be making that up though, perhaps it varies from baby to baby?
I think anyone who gets overly mad a a woman wanting to bottlefeed is way out of line. That said, I do wonder why we, in this country, don't breastfeed as much as other countries. I also think more women should be encouraged to try it, though no one should be forced or made to feel negative about their own choices. We're a bit of a strange society in this country sometimes!

I'm going for breast and maybe a top up bottle at night.
but who nows when it come round to little one being born

xx

Hi replying to your dilemma, i am now expecting my third child, i bottle fed both my previous babies with no problems at the end of the day it is what suits you and your baby and don't let anyone else force you into something you feel uncomfortable with, hope this helps.

It has been really interesting read these posts. I breastfed both my dd (now 9) and ds (now 5) both were bad sleepers and Dylan also got chickpox at 7 weeks, has excema too therefore not sure that breatfeeding did actually help with HIS immunity, However maybe he would have been even worse off if I bottle fed.

Both my sis in laws bottle fed and had fab babies that slept so well, and slept all night from about 5 weeks. I had to wait till two years with Chloe!!

Anyway husband wants me to bottle feed this time for those reasons and I am struggling with the guilt thing as my other two are the most affectionate, cuddly kids ever and wonder if this is due to all those bedtime snuggles and frendy frenzies!

So really unsure what to do.

Em x

I think its really hard to say at this point for me. As its my first i just don't know if i even can breastfeed. My SIL couldn't and a few other friends just couldn't, because of various factors.
I think its important that we all do what WE feel comfortable and happy with and that suits our baby.
Natasha...men just don't understand, my hubby thinks its all about choice only and doesn't realise all the other factors involved. He actually thought we could choose when to conceive so as to make most of maternity leave. Ha!

MJ x
23+3

I breast fed for 4 and half months with Olly and was gutted to stop as I was going back to work. I tried to breast feed at night once I went back, but it didn't really work, as was up 2-3 times a night and when working full time was very tiring! There were times during the 4 months that I wanted to give up, but persisted and actually enjoyed doing it in the end. I did express once a day though so my OH didn't feel left out. I also, found breast feeding easier as making up bottles got a bit monotomous (sorry, spelling!).
I intend to do the same this time, but up until 6 months. I do agree with everyone else though, its your choice and if breast feeding doesn't work this time, bottles are fine too. I hate feeling pressured into anything, my mum just kept going on about how she breast fed all of us up until a year, so made me feel bad when I wanted to give up.

Jules x